Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[Pachyderm]

I'm sure she would be fine. I think she's the one that gives Milord Dave his bath....

[Opsa]

Yes yes, the one with the big, er... sponges.

[Pachyderm]

You sure? I thought it was the one with the loofah, and the saucy grin...

[Sibling DavidH]

If it were me, I would go with the big sponges and the saucy grin and tell her to leave the loofah out of it.   

[Bluenose]

I say, Lord DaveL, would your scullery maid be interested in photography, by any chance?  It just so happens that I have contrived to turn my cabin into a passable dark room, and it would be a pleasure to show her the, ahem, ropes...

[The Meromorph]

I say, you chaps are deuced inconsiderate, you know...
Fapping on about scullery maids, when Lady Opsa is our honored guest. 

Lady Opsa, I brought along a couple of strappin' young footmen, just in case things got e-r-r-m energetic with the huntin', what.

Please feel free to keep them occupied, if you wish, and have you noticed one of the beaters is rather 'piratey', if that would suit your fancy, eh?

[Bluenose]

Yes indeed Lord Mero, once again you are thinking straight.

Lady Opsa, I wonder if, perchance, you might be interested in a little photographic experimentation yourself?  I have all the latest equipment, you know...

[Opsa]

Dearest Mero, I myself am to blame for going on about the scullery maid. I suppose I am just a teensy-beensy bit jealous because her sponges are so, er... sudsy.

Does this mean I can't play with the pirate? He does look a devil.

Blue, last time I visited your darkroom, we broke the enlarger! Not that it was needed, or anything...

[The Meromorph]

Oh my dear Lady Opsa, the pirate is utterly at your disposal (we've plenty of beaters and one beater is more or less like another when it comes to huntin', doncherknow.)
I've given him a golden guinea, and a bar of soap. Told him he's your personal beater...

'f you need mine own self at any time, just crook that delightful little finger of yours in my direction, what?  Sudsy, eh? Jolly good show! (You have no cause for Jealousy, or envy either. Oh my, no!)  Sudsy! Delightful thought!   Oh my! Oh my!

[Opsa]

Oooooooh- you're certainly in a saucy mood this afternoon, Lord Mero! What sort of alchemy have you added to your gin and tonic, and may I please have some, too?

[The Meromorph]

It was somethin' that charmin' DaveL chap gave me.. Cap'ns Deloit or some such name.   Very invigoratin' !

I say, old chap! C'n Lady Opsa have a little drop of that stuff you added to m' G&T, eh?

[DaveL]

Why yes indeed old chap, feel free! I think that bounder Captain Bluenose had brewed up a batch from Portsmouth Public School. 

[The Meromorph]

Reminds me of the stuff Nanny kept in a little bottle in her underwear drawer when I was a little chap!   Jolly times, though, sadly, long gone... I used to visit her in prison when I was up at Cambridge.

Here you are Lady Opsa, my dear, mind you don't get any on bare skin!  Goodness me, from this angle you do remind me of Nanny, what? What is that rainbow thing shining around you?

[Opsa]

Oh, Lord Mero, it's just that you've fogged up your pince-nez, silly duck! Here, let me polish it.

Ooh, this stuff does pack a whollop, does it not?

[The Meromorph]

Oh my! I don't think I'd better have any more of that!

At least not without lying down first, eh?   The footmen had quite a struggle I believe.  And I seem to recall a very kindly and dignified elephant being most insistent that I not jump into the sea to cool orf? Very gracious chap, anyway. Was wearing a tie from my old school I believe? Oh dear, I seem to be quite confused.