Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[ivor]

Oh dear.  I can't see my hand in front of my face for all this fog!

[pieces o nine]

Lud! That is *my* face you're waving your hand in front of, you silly goose. Do be a dear and fetch me another cognac.

[Bluenose]

I say chaps! I was just taking in the sea air up on the promenade deck and what's that I see over there on the horizon?  It appears to be some sort of sailing ship...  and is that a Jolly Roger flying at the mast head?  Oh my goodness, I hope that blasted Captain Bluenose is not aboard...

[pieces o nine]

* giggles fetchingly *

* sashays, a bit unsteadily, over to the rail for a closer look *

[The Meromorph]

Good Lord. That delightful woman wobbled as she walked! 
Is she not wearing stays, or am I still confused by that invigoratin' G&T additive? 
Lovely woman though, what? Very Charmin'.

[Opsa]

Hmmm, yes. She's been somewhat bobblier now that she let those pufferfish out of her corset. I fear they've left some jiggle room.

Lady P, I say, would you like me to tighten your laces? You could grab hold of that railing to steady yourself.

[pieces o nine]

Hmmmm?

*hic* 

I say, Opsie-Daisy, that's a capital idea! One does want to look one's best for  [*shiver*]  piratical rogues.  In case of boarding.  La!

[Bluenose]

Oh Dear, oh dear!  Just look at that fellow standing on the quarter deck of that ship.  If I'm not mistaken he appears to be shouting naughty words at us and making lewd gestures towards the ladies!  I say we need to tecach that fellow a lesson he won't forget, eh what?  In fact, I've half a mind to go over there and give him a jolly good talking to, you see if I don't.  That will sort him out, make no mistake!

[Opsa]

Aw, just let me 'n' Pieces take care of 'em. We'd wear 'em out in a trice.

Ahem.. did I say that? Pardon me. Must've been the Captain's Delight...

[DaveL]

What a rude bounder that man is Lord Bluenose.  I say, we sully forth and give that man a right punch on the hooter!

[pieces o nine]

Ooooooh, did someone say, 'thrice'?   

* quickly adjusts opera glasses for a better look at the piratical rogues *

[Pachyderm]

*hatch cover lifts*

"Ai sai, what's all the ballyhoo? I was just, ehm, well, aha, checking the  sail locker, yes, that's it, checking the sail locker, and then there was all this confounded noise above me head..."

*eyes cross*

"Dear God, girl, not now"

*eyes uncross*

"Pirates! Bugger me!"

*hatch crashes shut*

*muted roar from below*

"That was an expression, not an instruction!"

[Opsa]

Gracious, whot a trumpet that Pachyderm has!



Now now now, DaveL darling, there'll be no hooter-punching! We don't want anyone's hooters all swollen up.

[Bluenose]

Indeed Lady Opsa.  I must say, however, that it does not appear to be that pirate scoundrel's hooter that is all swollen up...   *guffaw*

[Opsa]

Heavens to Betsy, Blue old thing, you're right! No opera glasses needed, here.