Toadfish Monastery

...vest."

Syd looked bemused. "What's a dog's vest?" he asked.

"Well," said Brian. "I picked up some rhyming slang while I was in the nick. It means they're good. Dog's vest - best!"

"Are ye sure you've got that right?"

"Of course," said Brian. "There's lots of others. Like if I said I was a raving...

....Monster Looney Party candidate once upon a time. And I've decided to take up the call again. From now on I am running on the "Ban Litebulbs" ticket. "Eat Daffs in The Dark". Aaargh! Oi got a few good slogans up me.......

...thank goodness for that, for a minute there bruv I thought you were going to say you are a Raving...

...Lonster Mooney Party.

Just as Syd and Brian left the cell cage. Elroy was overcome with grief and began to cry and bellow.

'Come back Brian, don't leave me...Arghhhh!!!'

Elroy's bellowing alerted the prison guards, who began running down the corridor.

'Quick out through here' said Syd.

Syd's henchmen had prepared an escape route over the prison wall.

Within minutes, Bustlin' Brian was free...

.... sheets to the wind, as he gulped down the contents of the hip flask Syd's henchman had brought with him. He could no more climb the ladder over the wall than spot a Monster Raving Looney in a football crowd. Syd's henchman gave him a good kick in the.......

...(reverting back to Cockney Rhyming slang) Hazels! That will teach you to cast aspersions that I am a complete pipe...

Editor's Note: at this point in the Briny Tale it became apparent that Black Bart was over-identifying with the villain.

...continue...

....teach you to cast aspersions that I am a complete pipe...

...bender! Which is of course cockney rhyming slang for...

...me kitchen blender.

*YArrrr, now where were we again, oh yes hazels*

The escapees boarded a row boat, which went round and round the prison moat. 'Yarrrr, ya peanut we be goin round in circles' said Brian.

'OK everyone out of the boat, let's use our feet, said Syd.

In the distance, the blood curdling bark of bloodhounds could be heard...

..."AAARRRGH, we be doomed, tis the hound o hell himself...BLACK SHUCK!!!!" squealed Brian.

"But we be no where near Lowestoft...or ave we got lost in the DARKNESS!" said Syd.

Brian gulped clutchin his brothers hand in fear "BLACK SHUCK...that dog don't give a..."

(with apologies to anyone not knowing THE DARKNESS lyrics!)

...bark that's like any hound O've heard before.

'Quick throw him one of your Big Ron's extra tasty chippolatas...

'Are you kiddin' me, we didn't get that quality of food in prison' snapped Brian.

The only way O'id rewards that was if I...

*YArrrr, cmon, it be toime for an innuendo-athon*

...if I...hang on a minute, Black Shuck, that rhymes with...

ummm...Mack Truck...YArrr!

......and by enormous coincidence, at that very moment, Mack The Truck appeared (he was called Mack The Truck on account of he would have no truck with people who had been in prison). Mack The Truck soon found out Brian had been in prison and left in a huff saying he........