Movie rules/cliches game

[beagle]

If seeking employment as Bond's driver/assistant/love interest then don't bother asking about the pension scheme.

[Swatopluk]

In fantasy and martial art movies the bad guys attack the hero in single file so (s)he can dispatch of them one after the other.

Bad guys that are masters with the revolver can't count to six. Ask them to demonstarte their mastership until they have fired their last bullet, then you can attack them easily. Warning: there have been 7-shooters spotted in some parts of the West.

[Sibling Kephra (Tansy)]

- If you are a villain; never, *never* monologue.

- Concerning Star Trek; should you be an ensign, and wearing the red uniform; you *will* be chosen for the first excursion onto the new planet and killed.

- The leading lady sleeps with makeup on and it never smears.

- People can manage to have sex with the bedsheets wrapped around in between them.

- Cartoon charecters are safe while walking on air, until they look down.  Then they're screwed.

[Swatopluk]

Movie bedsheets have to be asymmetric, covering the female upper body but not the male.

[Sibling Chatty]

R rated movie baths have multiple areas on which to place innumerable candles, as well as room for a champagne cooler and 2 wineglasses, no matter how small the apartment or home.

There are multiple discreet mirrors as well, although these are not apparent during non-candlelit bathing scenes.

[Swatopluk]

Time bombs can't be defused until a few seconds before explosions, so don't bother before it's down to about 20.

If you are the good guy, it does not matter how many people you kill and how much property you destroy.

In the middle of nowhere there are only two types of objects likely to fall down on you: pianos and anvils.

There is a sure way to guarantee the repetition of an unlikely event:
saying "...this can't happen again..."

[DeadPoet]

Candles and torches inside old dungeons, crypts, temples or pyramid can burn for thousands of years. The air remains breathable.

[Swatopluk]

Slight correction. There is a tomb/dungeon maintenance staff (mummies?) changing the torches on a regular schedule.

If you shout at the top of your lungs, nobody will hear you but if you whisper something important, someone (wrong) will.

In SciFi movies Aristotelean physics rules.

[DeadPoet]

Talking about Sci-Fi movies, even the smallest guns provide enough energy for endless high-energy laser-blasts.

[Swatopluk]

Unfortunately the speed of light is reduced so radically that it is easily possible to make evasive maneuvers.

If you are not sure, whether somebody is a bad guy or a good guy, look for the color his laser weapon/ray gun produces.

Regardless of the blaster's power to melt everything down, it will not penetrate the outer hull of the ship from the inside.

In outer space there is a speed limit far below the speed of light.

[goat starer]

sharks eat boats

oilrigs are invariably a front for evil organisations

If someone calls you senor frisk him for weapons

[The Black Spot]

The madman with the hatchet will always murder each victim in a new, inventive fashion.

[Swatopluk]

If you are a private eye: Never trust the beautiful and mysterious female client.

To run a hearse you must be either a ham, a mafioso or a necronerd

[rumblemonk]

toliet humor is always funny

[Swatopluk]

Check the color of your hat to determine whether you are a good or a bad guy. Therefore always carry enough whitewash and soot with you to change the color in a hurry.