Things to do on a long voyage

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRR and ahoy me hearties. I be openin this topic for suggestions of amusin things to do on a long voyage or for when yer ship's becalmed in the middle of the ocean.

I likes a bit of Scrimshaw meself...

No, don't titter, taint nothin ye be doin at Madame Fifi's, it be the art of carvin or wittlin pieces o bone into helaborate hornimants such as sailing ships and snuff boxes.

The most common type o bone used be Whale or Walrus Tusk...but I prefers Frenchman or Spaniard! YYYAARRRR I can spend hours happily wittlin away until me hand gets tired.  The beauty of it bein ye can sell yer objects at Portsmouth Market when ye gets home.  I once wittled a Spaniards shin bone into an exact replica of Portsmouth Lighthouse...I was very pleased with meself but the Spaniard wasn't so happy!

So lets hear yer suggestions for whiling away the long salty hours.

[The Black Spot]

I once spent a long voyage trainin' a spider to weave the words "The Black Spot" into its web.

After several months o' work, I invited some o' me crew into me cabin to see it. We all stared at the web an' marvelled at what the spider 'ad done. Trouble was, as we were all illiterate, we didn't know if the web spelled me name, or it were just a really messy web.

Me parrot ate the eight legg'd blaggard the next day anyway.

[Griffin NoName]

Polishin me peg leg keeps me appy fer hours; that be wen Oi not be paintin it. Oi bin tryin ter perfect the Mona Lisa smoile in a spiral but it be not werkin out too well.

[Bluenose]

Oi been spendin the last cupple o cruizez makin a model o a Spanish galleon out er wood splinters Oi find all glued tergether wiv ear wax.  So far Oi got the foc'sl and the main deck done and Oi currently be werkin on the quarter deck.  Oi'm a bit unsure ow Oi'll go wiv th' riggin, but Oi'll deal wiv that wen Oi get ter it.

Cap'n Bluenose

[Black Bart]

Keep the suggestions comin me hearties...me ship is at present becalmed just off the Isle o Wight.  I'd go ashore but thar be even less to do there than there is on the ship!

[The Meromorph]

Oi been spendin the last cupple o cruizez makin a model o a Spanish galleon out er wood splinters Oi find all glued tergether wiv ear wax.  So far Oi got the foc'sl and the main deck done and Oi currently be werkin on the quarter deck.  Oi'm a bit unsure ow Oi'll go wiv th' riggin, but Oi'll deal wiv that wen Oi get ter it.

Cap'n Bluenose

Nose hair extracted from boogers, Cap'n. Beggin' yer pardon iffen oi'm bein' pushy, loike!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi just 'accidently' accquired an 'R-Box 360'. The console and joy pads is made out of plywood.

Me an the lads have been playin'some awesome tournaments. Problem when Oi needs 'em to do some real werke they get a bit feisty.

Can't wait until television is invented. Then we can have some real fun.

YARRRR!

[Black Bart]

Tyin knots is always a steadfast way to while away the hours.  A sheep shank for a sheep. A slip knot fer all yer hangin needs and a reef knot to hold yer wacky backy in!

[Calico Jack]

In times of boredom me crew get quite excited when I arrange maggot racing.  First of all I as to get a supply of maggots out of me First Mate's hair (dirty blaggard hasn't washed for 15 years)and then we race em up an down the deck.  Problem is the races don't last long on account of the crew eating the competitors, well it beats the chef's food.

An you all thought that Pirates led an exciting life.

[Black Bart]

I also have a great collection o books for those of me crew who can read:

'A History of Fish Head Stew' by Dave L
'Piratical diplomacy' by The Black Spot - that be a very short book...
'A History of Sea Shanties' by Brenda McTavish...I thinks the crew only borrows that one for the photo of the author!
'Clonin Gingers and how to avoid it' by myself
'World Cup 2006 My Story' by (Oz Nick) Blue Nose...a terrific account of  Piratica's adventures in the football World Cup set against the backdrop of one man's struggle against the loss of all limbs and his ultimate rise to glory.

[The Black Spot]

In times of boredom me crew get quite excited when I arrange maggot racing...

We has a similar event aboard me own vessel. We has biscuit racin'.

We draws a chalk circle on the deck, an puts half a dozen biscuits in the centre, an we bets on which one'll leave the circle first. There be so many weevils an' things in the biscuits that the race be over in a few seconds.

We did try racin' the pork chops once, but no-one could catch the winner before it jumped over the side.

[Bluenose]

'World Cup 2006 My Story' by (Oz Nick) Blue Nose...a terrific account of  Piratica's adventures in the football World Cup set against the backdrop of one man's struggle against the loss of all limbs and his ultimate rise to glory.

Yaarrr, Oi'll be havin a book signin out side o Madam Fifi's next Wednesday after lunch...

[Griffin NoName]

Me an me crew play interactive video games. But the rules be terruble ard. Ye ave ter tek a pile of em an balance em on yer ed while climbing up ter crow's nest wivout any fallin off nest. Whiles yer doin it, everyone else throws their own pile o videos at yer. The one oo knocks ye down wins. That be where the skill comes inter it - the video which knocks ye down as ter be a different title ter the ones ye have.

We use them videos we stole borrowed from the video shop next ter Madam Fifi's. They were a job lot promised ter Madam Fifi fer er customers an all be entitled Madam Fifi an Cap'n Cronin Goes Ter Sea.

[Black Bart]

Madam Fifi an Cap'n Cronin Goes Ter Sea[/i].

Now that be a very, very long voyage indeed!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi can't wait for the sequel 'Madame Fifi and Capn  Cronan goes to sea with Brenda'. There'd be a few extra waves made in that one!

Me an the lads used to play a game of deck quoits using explosive devices. You could take out yer opponents quoit by blowin it up, but problem was, we used to throw em at our opponents as well.  There were a few extra peglegs and hook hands on account of that game.

Yarrrr...