Toadfish Monastery

....problems with gnats and DaveL seems to be covered in....

...haddocks from the Men of Portsmouth photo shoot...

.... for the Largest.....

...charity calendar ever to be be produced.  If we raise enough money for starving Pirate's families this could become an annual event. 

'Can I be in next year's calendar', Pirgella asked Dave L...

'Not really', said Dave, 'the calendar is about the men of Portsmouth dear.'

'Let me rephrase that', said Pirgella menacingly, 'I WILL be in next year's calendar wont I?'

'Allright, allright,' said Dave L with tears running down his cheeks, 'you can let go of my...

...haddock now.

Well if you boys can do a calendar, then so can us girls...me, Fifi, Brenda.

'Yarrrr...there ain't enough fruit in Portsmouth to cover you girls up chuckled Big Ron...

'...who sais anything about covering up', said Pirgella, 'we'll be more than happy to show off our...'

...petunias and melons which we take great.....

pride in mixing in the blender to smear on our...

...large wobbly...

... jellies, not to mention our cute little...

tarts."

The innuendo was flying fast, and Constables, parrots, calendars, Dartmoor and dominoes had all been forgotten in the rush to...

...to see who would be the first to mention Big Ron's enormous...

...spread in the calendar.  How they managed to fit him into July the spirit o Davy Jones only knows.  Pirgella continued leafing through the Men Of Portsmouth Calendar until she came to the page with Dave L on...she laughed so much she toppled over the side.  Her legs kicked up in the air and if she hadn't a been wearin her best Dolchi and Bizmark Knickers the crew would have had a good look at her...

...hip flask she'd strapped to her leg.

'Pirgella, we know you have been havin' a few problems of late, but when did yer start drinkin' so heavily?' said Brenda, who magically appeared.

*NB YArrrr...Oi couldn't think of anything innuendoey, but we'll set it up nicely for another round.

....who magically appeared having been playing a fairy in the Portsmouth Alternative Shakespearian Pantomime Production of Midsummer Night's Mare wearing only a.....