I think we needs a tavern where we's can sit back an' discuss our piratey life over a tankerd o' grog or two. This seems as good as place as any.
Anyways...
Last night I were invited to the theatre by a good friend o' mine. Tweren't a bad play- involved murders an' scullduggery an suchlike, but got a bit wordy so I dozed off fer a few moments.
Next thing I knows, I hears this bint on the stage shoutin' "Out, Damn Spot! Out I say!"
Well, I weren't 'aving that. I leapt up on the stage an started swingin me cutlass an were eventually dragged out by me first gunner 'oo said it were nothin personal.
I dunno about that, time to pay the author a visit I think.
Quote from: The Black Spot on September 29, 2006, 12:56:35 AM
I dunno about that, time to pay the author a visit I think.
Ye'll be needin the elp of Cap'n Cronin then !! Oi wish yer luck.
Spot, me fren'...be ye moighty caer'filled if ye be confrontin' that Shakespeere fellow.
He's an odd 'un, an has the most peculiar set of followers whut spen' their toime talkin' and even writin' monographs aboot wha'twas he was meanin' when he wrote down them plays.
Oi'm not certain tha he 'usnt a bit orf in the brainpan wi' some of 'em.
"Ho, Oi'm Titania, Queen o' the Fairies"?? The boy ain't quoite roight...
I recently moved me ship to a new berth, an' decided to take the opportunity to do an inventory.
I went into the bilge an' did a count of all the prisoners an' hostages down there, an' I found there were one left over. Judgin' by 'is raggedy clothes an' the rust on 'is manacles, 'ee seemed to ave bin there a long time. Trouble is, I didn't 'ave a clue 'oo 'ee was.
I asked me officers 'oo the unknown prisoner be, an' no-one knew. Suddenly, me bosun said "I knows Cap'n. It be old Cartwheel Morgan. You ordered 'im locked up one New Year's Eve. About seven or eight years ago, it were."
I still remembered nothing about it. "What did 'ee do?" I asked.
"Well Cap'n, it were just after midnight an everyone were jumpin' about, and then Cartwheel... he..."
"What!?"
"'Ee trod on yer foot Cap'n."
"An 'ees bin locked up fer seven years?" This sounded a bit excessive even fer me.
"Well, he did tread on it quite hard, Cap'n."
"What exactly did I say?" I asked.
"Well the gist of it were that you ordered 'im below until yer toe got better."
"Well," said I wigglin' me foot, "It seems alright now."
"Not that foot, Cap'n," said the bosun. "This all happened a few days before the battle when you..." he stopped an nodded towards me peg leg.
"Why didn't ye let the varmint out then?" I asked.
The bosun puffed his chest out. "What? Go against yer orders Cap'n? Never!"
Such loyalty be a rare thing thinks I. Anyways, the bosun be in the bilge now.
Aaaaaaargh! Spot ye be sittin on a heap o treasure ther. Oi wouldn't be talkin bout it in such a public place if were ye. Ow much be it worth ter keep me gob shut an keep stum abowt THIS (http://www.goldfingercoin.com/history/$1_morgan.htm) ?
Quote from: Sibling Chatty on September 30, 2006, 01:38:25 AM
He's an odd 'un, an has the most peculiar set of followers whut spen' their toime talkin' and even writin' monographs aboot wha'twas he was meanin' when he wrote down them plays.
Arrrghhh, but you've got to admoir somun what in 'is will left his wife 'is "second best bed".
Yarrr, 'ee wuz a kind 'un that way...
(I played Anne Hathaway in 'A Cry of Players' twice, and directed it once in the 70's and 80's. Interesting family life.)
YArrrr...
Since me an the lads 'ave moved to the Monastery, we've bin starved of our favourite brew RRRR (4 R's).
Instead they've bin servin' this 'orrible stuff called RRR (3R's).
Can yer give us the name of the local Trappist Monk. Oi 'aves a business proposition for 'im.
Oi be keen to make a brew called Stella Arggh-tois.
Does anyone 'aves a Flemish phrasebook?
YArrrr!
Yarrr, that RRRR be right rubbish, my crew reckon yer carnt go past RRRRR.
Cap'n Bluenose
Gah! Me own crew reckons that RRRRR be a byproduct of drinking loads o' RRRRRR
YArrrr...
An what's worse than RRR is that bleedin 'RRR Lite' and 'RRR Lo-carb'. What's next? RRR with Gurana and Ginseng?
Arrrr...
I were in a tavern where they were doin' a promotion o' new ales once.
We was all gettin' stuck in when the innkeeper gives us each a pint o' the new RRR product. We each swigged back about half a pint o' the muck before we realised it were the new chocolate an' lime flavour which were aimed at the wench market.
I hear the rebuilding works are coming along nicely.
I just want to be
Saucy Gert Pettigrew, Head Ale Wench at the Admiral Benbow
that is my goal for this week, not psyc exams not nothing just this
and Black Spot what be the trouble with chocolate and lime flavured RRRRRRRR anyway? some pirates just can't be breaking out o their old moldy ways. course that expeirementin with tha various holiday like colorins (orange for hallows eve and red for valentines) was a total smeg up-- me mouth is still looking like a rainbow.
Yarrrrr...
Tis a most impressive array of lagers you 'aves there Saucy Gert. I even heard a rumour you may have the very prized 'RR+R' on tap.
If that be the case, then the lads will endure the new fangled beers. For the very scent of an RR+R will have the lads in here every night.
Arrrrr...
very few establishments sell RR+R nowadays. It be a fightin' brew.
Most places nowadays only sell RR Export, an that be in rubber bottles.
I's sure Saucy Gert will be a great success in the Admiral. Just as long as she remembers t' wear a safety helmet on Saturday nights.
OL Saucy here be a bit of a big lass, I be no wee bit o fluff, I suposes I can handle a few poirates being in their cups an all of a Satday nigh.
also as I be a stoutish lass I be very comfortin to poirates who been hit oer the head wif ale bottles and sech-- very soft and comfortin-- but in a sisterly sort o way so don be finkin ye can put ye peg leg to use on me watch!
YYYAAARRRR...I thinks I be gettin the in the habit o bein in a monastary now...we drinks ale and talks bollocks just like we used to!
Yarrrrr...
Well only some of us do matey. At least while we're sober - which in my case is never.
Another round for the returnee Pirates!!
Three cheers *hic...hic**
What are the house rules of the Admiral Benbow? Is it a Tankard o Grog for the men and a Glass o wine for the ladies?
Quote from: Black Bart on October 06, 2006, 11:15:52 AM
What are the house rules of the Admiral Benbow? Is it a Tankard o Grog for the men and a Glass o wine for the ladies?
Ye rules be quite simple.
1.Bring money
2.No football shirts
Apart from Piratica football shirts!
That be what started the ban in the first place.
now black spot would ye be talkin bout the ban on poirate team shirts what was began due to the wee row over who had the bestest side line wenches?
seems to me I amamber a wee row over whether or not the South Seas Bilge Rats or the East Indian Company Peg Legs had the most comely wenches.
As I remember it not one poirate were actually kilt outrite, just tha usual maimin and eye pokin out.(O course some o them poirates only had they one eye to begins with so there were an increase in unusually lost ships fo a bit doing to tha fact o really blind navigatin officers)
Oooh, Oi loikes a tavern wench who uses 'kilt' and 'pokin out' in the same turn o' phrase!
Do ye hunts 'em with leafblowers? There even be a few pirates 'ere with kilts:
http://devilspanties.keenspot.com/kilts.html
(http://devilspanties.keenspot.com/images/conventions/DragonCon06/kilts/laura/piratekilt2.jpg)
Nice carpet thar matey...pillaged from the Spanish Main no doubt!
Oh Bartie! So good ta sees yer here. It is indeed a Happy Friday after ARRRGGGHHHHLL. Let's drink ter it!
-the monk formerly known as drake
Oy!
ye gots ter watch them Scottis poirates and they kilts-- ye never know jus wot mite be lurkin under the plaid
Luckily the weeeee lassy's got it set on blow...not suck!!!!!
The scots are a depraved race even if they have got the best football team in the UK (apart from Piratica).
Quote from: Black Bart on October 05, 2006, 11:02:42 PM
YYYAAARRRR...I thinks I be gettin the in the habit o bein in a monastary now...we drinks ale and talks bollocks just like we used to!
I just wish I had the talent to talk complete tripe all the time, some of yous are naturals whereas I as to work really hard at it. Bart you are in a league of your own.
YArrrr...
Suacy Gert,
Do yer think that we'll be seein any musical entertainment at the Admiral Benbow? We've been devoid of a bit of piratical music of late.
Lets start with somethin nice and simple:
Big Brenda singin sea shanties accompanied by Take the Lot for backing vocals and Santaaaaarghna on percussion!
Maggot Bhuna's all round aswell of course...twill be a sell out!
We were 'aving a good ol' sing song one night when a man from the council comes in an' asks if we 'ad a music license.
"Aye," said the Landlord pointin' a flintlock at the man. "I keeps it in the barrel o' me pistol. Ye want to see it?"
Anyone want t' buy a bowler hat wi' a hole in it?
I been nown to do a bit o the can-can dancin :censored: on tha tables meself but as to tha singin I leaves it to less vocally chalenged
weves a purty gud voice in our scully- tha dishmate be a bass but 'es farly busy all tha time- that stewe we be servin sure do crust up in tha trenchers mity fast so 'es gots to keep up wiv it.
Quote from: Black Bart on October 10, 2006, 01:59:55 PM
Lets start with somethin nice and simple:
Big Brenda singin sea shanties accompanied by Take the Lot for backing vocals and Santaaaaarghna on percussion!
Maggot Bhuna's all round aswell of course...twill be a sell out!
YArrr...
Awesome!! Saucy Gert will have her work cut out fillin' tankards of ale that night.
Table Dancin'? And Oi thought yer got yer name 'Saucy' on account of your fine cooking skills.
Maggot Bhuna? Weren't they a heavy metal sea shanty outfit from the 60's?? The 1660's Oi mean. Oi heard the lead singer had a serious fishead stew addiction and dropped out for years with a bad illness.
YYYAAAARRRR...All self repectin Rock stars die young...Buddy Holly, Lynard Skynard, Keith Moon, Elvis, Mark Bolan...Cliff Richard...sadly I had him hangin from a yard arm in the 60s but he were rescued by Father Christmas on the understanding that he would perform terrible yuletide shanties every year for the rest of his career!
Arrrgghh, and he calls that a career??
'Tis a pity...waste of a perfeckly good hangin'.
I be a wench o many talents
;)
Quote from: Sibling Chatty on October 11, 2006, 11:13:15 PM
Arrrgghh, and he calls that a career??
'Tis a pity...waste of a perfeckly good hangin'.
Now perhaps ye can understand why The Black Spot, Dave L and I made an attempt on St Nicks life! Ye can only stand so much o Cliff Richard's Yuletide hits...it drives a Pirate balmy!
YArrrrr...
It will be on again this year matey. That fat bloke in red is goin down.
Thar be a rabbit by the name o' Bun Bun yer needs ta meet...
Ahoy there DaveL, d'yer reckon we kood modify wun o me antee-submarine torpedoes to werke as an air to air missile? Oi figger that ort ter give the red blaggard a bit o' a shake up!
Cap'n "Biggles" Bluenose
YYYAAARRR and avast me hearties...the Christmas puds are already on sale in Maaarrrghrks & Spencers in Portsmouth...tis time to make our plan of attack!!!
Ye mangy lot bring a whole new meanin' ter th' FunnyMen'alist whinin' abou' ther "War on Christmas".
Oi persnaly fink them FunnyMen'alists wood welcoombe an attack on the red-suited old whiskermonger. They cert'nly uster groipe aboot 'im enuf.
Any poirates on this soide er th' Atlantic should devote much toime ter the takin' out of commercially made FruitCake...unless they be needin' a new anchor, or possibl' some gummy substance ter' chink up leaks belowdecks.
Th' FruitCake is also quoite effective aginst th' more common varmints ye foind aboout. Whack 'em with a chunk o' it, and they be on ther way to Davy Jones Locker, where, it is my unnerstanin' that they ackshew ectuil indoobitareally die from the termynal headde ache an' bleedin' from th ears becauze o' th' musick.
Aaarrrgggghhhh!!!!! Sibling Chatty yer given me an idea. Prehaps Oi kood lace the bit o fruit cake, wot Oi leave out on the nite o' 24th o' December, wiv a bit o' rat poison, and Oi kood put a bit o arsenic in th' sherry,. Reckon that'd give the red bandit somfin ter fink about!
Cap'n Bluenose
Arrrr....
we be needin' a decent plan this year. Last year's disaster scuppered 'alf the ships in the fleet.
ahoy
this weekend a tha spot bout scuppered all tha fleet this weekend
Saucy is one tired ale wench
YYYAAARRRR....I has a cunnin, cunnin plan!
YArrrr...
Ok do tell Bart. We's all be gettin' a bit edgy about Dec 24th.
Oi thought O'id polished him off last year off Sydney headlands. Unfortunately Santa's little helpers sent a rescue team out to salvage him.
They needed at 10 tonne crane to pull that chubby blighter out of the Tasman Sea.
YArrrr!
It be toim to hatch me cunnin, cunnin plan...it can't fail I tell ye, Santa's a gonner this time. What we needs is a inside man, or in this case a man cunningly disguised as...
(http://homepage.mac.com/antonyroberts/.Pictures/deer_hat.jpg)
a Reindeer...shall I be Donner or Blitzen?
By the look o' those antlers, ye should be Groper.
YYYAAARRRR...If things get hairy I can hold a cutlass in each antler!
Oi be wunnerin if as Bart teks em picters of iself all dressed up on a self-timer exposure or if as e as an accomperlis oo takes the snaps ;)
For that one I was caught on the security camera o Santa's Grotto in Debenaaaaarrrrrghms Portsmouth...I was on a practise run but me antlers got caught in a low slung xmas festoon!
YArrrr..
Oi reckoN Saucy Gert wOUld lOok prEtty gOod WiTh a pAir of anTleRs...yaRrr, but Oi be farRr toO drunK...hic...hic...
Quote from: Black Bart on October 17, 2006, 01:50:44 PM
YYYAAARRRR....I has a cunnin, cunnin plan!
Err, Bart... ye haven't bin talkin ter Baldrick again 'ave ye?
How did ye know me First mate was called Baldrick? He comes up with some top ideas...I thinks he be a tad more heducated than the rest o the crew! He can even count usin beans! Aye and when it gets tough on a long voyage and we reaches the...urine drinkin stage...it be Baldrick's urine, already bottled, what we drink.
YYYAAAARRRRR twere a mistake comin in the Admiral Benbow what with the Dribblin Parrot match comin up...the lads from the Parrot rolled in lookin fer trouble.
Thomas 'Golden Taps' Graverson & Kenny '2-Pint screamer'Ingram started it off by chanting a little ditty which must ave taken em hours to compose:
Pirate Poofters, Pirate Poofters, Hello, Hello...
I looked round worried cos I was the only team member at the bar and as luck would ave it I was wearin my Piratica World Cup Final Runner up medal!!!!
It got worse when Jake 'Cleanup yer puke' Mutton came over and knocked my tankard o grog over on purpose sayin: "What ye goin to do about that, ye wooden legged git?"
Things were lookin uglier still when Erik 'Skol-up' Nordstrum came up and said: SKOL, SKOL, SKOL, SKOL! very threateningly indeed.
But I'd been in tighter corners than this on my adventures on the open seas. Quick as a flash I shouted: 'BRENDA, customers fer ye...I thinks the Dribblin Parrot will be nursin a few injuries for the match!
Dear LandlubberLord
Can ye reserve a secluded table fer meself an a loverly lady named Mildred. She bin offered a free lunch by Scumsoft. Oi ope ye can confirm this.
Yours respectfully and oping ter ear from yer
Arthur Three-Sheds Senior
Dear Mr Three-Sheds,
I has a perfect table fer Mildred an yerself.
It be in a lovely candlelit alcove near the back o' the pub.
I've recently 'ad a new door put on the toilets so the smell shouldn't be too bad.
Your genial landlord,
Cap'n Tom Dillon
YYYAAARRRR it was concernin me why the Admiral Benbow had a similar level and feel of interior design as Ye Redde Cowwe...the rotting straw and sawdust floor covering, the authentic Old Sea Dog stench emanatin from the kitchens, the peculiarily rustic taste o the grog and even the 'Henry Kelly appearin here!' posters...now the Black Spot has made it all clear: both Taverns be run by that penny pinchin Old Sea Dog: Capn Tom Dillan!!
YYYAAARRRR we've been waitin fer Henry kelly to turn up for four years!!!
Marvellous!
Arrrr yer swab.
'Enry Kelly will be 'ere soon to turn on the Christmas lights to me fine tavern. We'll 'ave at least four bulbs this year. I hears Mr Kelly's gettin' a lift on Cap'n Cronan's vessel, so 'ee should turn up safe and sound soon.
Marvellous
Cap'n Tom Dillon
YYYAAARRRR I turned up for new Thursday night quiz at the Admiral Benbow and quite an evenin it turned out to be. We had an all star team: myself, Black Spot, Calico Jack and Capn Cronan! Twere all the brilliant idea o the new landlord Capn 'Marvellous' Tom Dillon. He said there'd be free biscuits for all at the end o the quiz and a special prize for the winning team.
We were a bit upset at having to part with a dubloon each to enter but when we saw the quiz categories we started to fancy our chances:
Round 1: What kind of pet does a pirate like?
Round 2: Is a pirate
a. Someone who robs from houses
b. Someone who robs from aeroplanes
c. Someone who robs from ships
Round 3: What does the pirate phrase 'Shiver me timbers' mean in pirate speak?
a. I am a bit cold
b. I love boy bands
c. I am surprised
Round 4: An all out cutlass fight to the death!
We struggled a bit on round 3 with Capn Cronan insistin on puttin b. I love boy bands down, but we breezed through the cutlass fight as the other entrants were all from the local poor house!
We surrounded Capn Dillon demandin our prize and biscuits. We should ave known better...we got a plate of the weevliest biscuits I've ever seen and the prize...
...twere some sort of pie...I still can't get me cutlass out the crust!
Gah, ye can talk.
In the picture round, ye insisted that number 4 was Jean Simmons when everyone else knew it were King Philip of Spain.
An ye said that Joan o' Arc came from Cuba.
AAAARRRGH...Jean Simmons!
He were a terrible singer!
Don't try an get out o' it. Ye were the one 'oo said that Jean Simmons was Alice Cooper's real name.
An ye said that Bonnie and Clyde were killed with ice picks in Cuba.
GGGAAARRRRR...even so...we would ave gotten away with it. But when the bar tender came over with the grog vouchers ye shouted:
'Call that a prize ye blaggard!' and lopped off his head wiv yer cutlass!!!
Still his head looks really good mounted on the wall next to that fake bullock!
YYYAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!...
I said ASTEROIDS ye deaf cow!
YArrrr...
The other day Oi sat on the cold ground and got Asteroids. Now this space ship keeps flying around trying to shoot me bum into tiny pieces. YArrr...
4 pieces o eight to ya DAveL for photos o the prolem
8 pieces o eight to ye if ye don't show any photos!!!!!
Yarr!
Barman, a shot o' Captain's Delight fer everywun here, me good man! Just ter spread the good cheer, yer unnerstan?
Quietly Pour mine from this bottle, if you don't mind. Yes, I know it looks like a bottle of Chivas Regal with the words Chivas Regal crossed out and Captain's Delight written in crayon, but none o' these swabs'll know the diffrence an' Oi'm payin, right?
I were 'aving a quiet binge the other night, when a shady lookin'character walks into the tavern an' buys everyone a drink.
Well, I has a mugful or two with 'im (just to be sociable like) when everything goes black. Next thing I knows I'm wakin' up in me cabin with a ragin' headache, last night's dinner down me shirt, a black eye an' sore knuckles.
In me pockets I found a three quarters finished bottle o' some stuff called "Captain's Delight", a carton o' "Kentucky Fried Bilge-rat" and a policeman's helmet.
Decent drop o' stuff that were. I 'ope 'ees down again ternight.
Psst... Mr publican...
As part o' th' public'ty fer Captain's Delight, we wuld loike ter offer ye a half a cronin subsidy per pint o' Captain's Delight ye sell over th' bar, ter enabl ye ter offer a lower proice ter all ye valuable kustomers. Also we be offerin ye a dozen bottles ye can raffle off ter all them mugs patrons wiv the proceeds goin ter yer cunning kick a charity of ye choice. Also we be offerin ye this great big illuminated Captain's Delight sign ter put over ye front door, ter attract them thirsty buggas loike moths to th' flame.
All we ask in return is that ye be tellin all th' swabs wot enters yer den o' iniquity foine establishment wot an eggsellent product the Captain's Delight is, and ter offer it as an alternative enny toime one of 'em orders sommat else. Also that ye agree ter put up all these foine lookin Captain's Delight posters in yer bar.
Wot d'yer say matey, are ye in?
Note to tha blokes from Saucy Gert Pettigrew here( jus back from her high seas adventurin wif the crew o the "Leaky George"- HA luxsury sailin my arse!)
tha spittons is fo spittin in ye scurvey dogs.
me recent trip on the high seas waz nuthin to write home about- sos I din't. Last time I answer an ad in PlayBilge fo a speshul discount cruise for ale wenches. I gots on board and the firs mate handed me a paddle- he did.
YYYAAARRRR...them paddles can come in andy when ye has to dish out some corporal punishment! Oh sorry that be Madam Fifi's not the Admiral B...cross threadin breaks out again!!
AAARRRRRRGH...I've downed my fair share o Capn's delight
Blisterin barnacles I be lookin fer a fight
There's another word what rhymes with delight
It may not be Wordsworth
But it be Karaoke Night!
Right ye blaggards...
Black bart grabs the microphone inspite of the desperate efforts of the Landlord to stop him...call the militia somebody...Oh god, he's going to sing it again...
"I felt the stew in my hand, and she laughed no more...
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH,
Why, Why, Why, Pirgella
MY, MY, MY, Pirgella...
Arghhh (or is that Corrr) Blimey,
Another bleedin Welsh cultural artifact to worry abouts?
That Capn Tom gets quite a few pandaloons thrown on stage Oi hears...
Gawd 'elp us.
There I were in the Admiral, quietly demolishin' a keg, when a ghastly banshee like wail tears through the tavern. It were an uneathly terrible shriekin' that sounded like a dyin' Donald Duck draggin' 'is fingernails down a blackboard.
I peered at the stage to see 'o it were, but me eye were waterin' too much, and me vision were blurry as me skull were rattlin' from the terrible noise.
In an effort to save us all, I drew mw pistol an' pointed it at the stage, but 'ooever it were had already left, or 'ad bin summoned back to hell.
These karaoke nights be gettin' more an more dangerous.
Oi been hearin' that the Activitees Direkter at th' Old Biddy's Rest Home wornts ta bring 'er Old Biddies to Karaoke Night.
Does th' karaoke list hinclood "Silver Threds Amung th' Gold" er ennything ov that vintage? Otherwyse, they'll start to hymn singin, an' that'll put the custermers roite orf their drink.
YYYYAAAARRRR...Bring the Old Biddies by the coach load. I'll only charge a hundred Cronans to go through me hentire repertoire!
I always ends up with a Reprise o 'Pirgella'!
Yarrr! Sob...sputter...whimper...
Barman, Oi'll be 'aving a gallon o' yer finest ale, pleeze.
Thanks, Ahhh, that be noice...
No, no, its ok, Oi don't reely mind sittin here all on me lonesome. No Oi 'ave no idear where all th' other pirates are gone to. Said summat abowt a raid, now Oi'm all fer a bit of raidin', loike, but they seem ter 'ave fergotten their troo 'ome.
Its Ok, jess keep the ale comin'...
'appen if em cum strollin back in, ther be no ale left for em.
...hic....
'nuvva gallon pleeze, Mr Barkeep...
AARRRR...We still be up fer a gallon o ale me hearties. Tis thirsty stuff this raidin lark. ;D
Yarr ! Gertie !,
Ah woobe goan onna wun yeer voyge , Da lads be nedden 12 bARRels ech en Uh be wanting ta hook up me hose to da wine fermintin tanks agin .
Ere be me IOU fer 5% ove me future plunder .
Arrrrr!!!
Open those doors! There's a thirsty pirate waiting here!
Hoozat wunderin aroun the ole Benbow? Oh, It be ye Cap'n Rowan... Well the place be a might dusty, I'm sure Gert will be aroun sumtoime soon. Wuld ye loike a drink while ye be waitin?
Yarr! Rev. :kettle: :cup:
Have a seat.... :tequila:Yarr! argh! :drunk:Y' Arghhharrrr... :beer:
... as I wuz sayin' ...durn me tenyear at thee wee eyeland owt yondda , I wint en sploshed me tankarrrrrrrrd ove rum inna teapot... den uh wint en dropped some iceberg innit ...Wots I ta collit ?
Arrrrgh...they be lettin all sorts o rabble in here these days! Anyone what has a parrot an a crutch can wander in willy nilly!
*stumbles down the stairs with bed hair and some buttons undone*
Oy! Settle down lads! Yer bar wench on call be here!" ;)
Let's see we have Whisky, grog, Rum 'n grog...
OK, Oi'll have a grog, grog, grog, grog, whisky, grog, rum, grog, grog and grog, with spam...
mmmmmm...Spam...
With any luck, you've got a kettle that hasn't been used as a spittoon. Any chance of a cup of green tea?
Ye be lookin' fer the tea howse on Treasure Island .Argh!
Oi think there's a box from the Armay Tea Co. below the bar, but it's only green acause 'o the leak in the tap line that's been dripping on it since mid-year.
Quote from: Rev. Rowan Redbeard on January 16, 2008, 02:49:53 AM
With any luck, you've got a kettle that hasn't been used as a spittoon. Any chance of a cup of green tea?
Tea! TEA? At T' Admiral Benbow's? Those crazy newcomers... Tea be what you get at Madame Fiffi's if you stay until mornin'. Ye see it's a sure way t' shoo away t' lingerin' guests...
Well, well, green tea it was! Ye want rum in it? Or Oi can make it even greener with some green curaso if ye like?
Surely you have something for a pirate who doesn't drink alcohol? Besides a cutlass through the spleen, that is.
How can there be a pyrate whut doesn't drink rum? That's gotta be illegal..... Ahh, very clever Cap'n Redbeard, usin' our prediliction fer the law-breakin' agin us. Yer a one ter watch, an' no mistake.
'ey, Pachy matey..... been out to sea lately? Gert, a mug o' grog for Pachy here....
An' tap a keg o' that root-ale for the red one. ;)
Aye, lad. Been all at sea fer a while now. Tis roight foine ter have the ol' Benbow bar under me elbows.
*raises mug*
An' a thank'ee fer the grog, matey.
*lowers empty mug*
Ahh, me liver's in fer a rough one this evenin'!
Can Oi get thee one in return?
Always! But there starts a dangerous exchange, laddie.... good thing I loves danger!
Yarr Pachy , Tis good to have ye back with the fleet ! :drunk:
Arr, an' hail to thee an' ahhll, Brudder Cuzzin. Pull up a pew.
Gertie, love, loine em up, an' keep 'em coming, there's a dahr-linn
:downit:
Gertie is busy elsewhere, hon, ye lot is stuck with me Darla! ;D
Quote from: Rev. Rowan Redbeard on January 20, 2008, 08:21:14 PM
Surely you have something for a pirate who doesn't drink alcohol? Besides a cutlass through the spleen, that is.
Oi guess Oi can give ye a gin and grapefruit grog without the gin...
Quote from: Pachyderm on January 22, 2008, 01:56:25 AM
Arr, an' hail to thee an' ahhll, Brudder Cuzzin. Pull up a pew.
Gertie, love, loine em up, an' keep 'em coming, there's a dahr-linn
:downit:
More beer on tha' way!
Quote from: Darlica on January 22, 2008, 10:57:32 AM
Gertie is busy elsewhere, hon, ye lot is stuck with me Darla! ;D
"Interviewin" some new scullery-boys, is she? We's be happy to be stuck anywhere with ye, Darl. ;D
She didn't tell me, but she looked like she was up t' somethin' no good. :mrgreen:
Fairy nuff.
Well, then, Darl me dear, have a few fer yerself, while we is still capable o' speech.
Tis' a roight foine establishment, th' ol' Benbow. Full ter the gunnels wif proper pyrates, fine wenches an' beer. Fink Oi'll stay fer a while...
"innocent wide eyed and shocked voice"
No good?? No good? me? what in blazes kin ye be talkin 'bout
no good--
Hon, that wry smile, and t' gleam in yer eaye should have told me what was goin' on a long time ago...
An' thank's Patchy I think I'll grab that nice bottle o' wine over thar.
Oi ave yet to acquire a taste fer grog...do ye serve mead in this hestablishment?
Oi 'ave to send a special order up t' t' Monastery an'it can take some time... Ye can 'ave some honey t' sweeten your beer in t' meantime. ;D
Arrrr...they must ave freshened the air up in the Old Admiral B...tis crowded wiv wenches these days!
Oh no...I see, they just banned Calico Jack!
YARR! I dun forgot ware the thread be to annonce dat I be going on a voyage , I shall be back in harbour in two moons .
Until then...Cheers Mateys ! YARRRRRRR!
Now then matey...enough o that behaviour...we don't want any mooning around ere!
Nah, Barty dearest, no bannin' they just gave us beautiesfolk mousetraps t' hide in t' hems o' our skirts. ;D Pirate men may not learn by trial an' error but add pain t' t' error part an' t' massage will get through eventually.
:bees:
:D
Sail safely BC and don't forget t' brin' aft some treasure! :hug:
BC that would be tha vow of silence hall- but seeing as ye be a pirate ye kin anownce here as ye kan't be qwiet enuff for tha hall
be good and safe and come back to port soon (ps bring me some Chow Mein noodles from tha orient will ya---Thanks a bunch) :D
* hoist a keg up on the counter and puts down a bowl of fish stew down on the floor for the squidlings who carried it down from the Monastary*
Mead!
Hooray for Mead!
Who is Mead? And are they a contortionist, to get into a keg? And will they, for our amusement, being doing the old "over the waterfall in the barrel trick"?
Yay mead! Thank ye for layin in a supply.
(Oi cannot speak for uvver Mead-lovers, but oi am not plannin on providin any amusement wif barrels an such.)
Hon, that's a Monastery strength brew, ye don't have t' drink that much o' t' content in t' keg before you'll provide some sort amusement...
In that case, oi'll be alert to the appropriate OSPHA (On-Site Pirate Hazard Analysis) notices posted at the height ye expect patron's ois to be at after a a couple rounds...
:drunk:
They are painted on th' underneath o' th' tables. An' on th' doorstep.
Arrrrr...I thought I'd seen em somewhere!
Where be the Health & Safety notices then?
They be stuckk ter yer back Black Bart !! Look see, look, see..... :ROFL:
Dunno if they be from the Healf an' Safetee lot, but there is a notice on the door ter the Stoo couldrons saying "Keep Owt"
Yarrrrr! Me father worked for the Ealth Department, an learned us about the foine points of Safety Hinspections where food or food-loike products be himposed upon the undiscernin publick.
Oid' loike to know ow many rat hairs per 100 gram sample, and/or ow many hinsect parts per 10 gram sample av been found in Black Bart's Fish Head Stew.
Thankee
pieces o nine
Yarr! Undecernin publicke, yeah that be us orright!
There be no rat 'airs nor hinseckt parts in Bart's Fishe Head Stewe on account o' how they wuld have all bin dissolved by now.
<looks around, spots keg of mead>
Arrgh! Sum new grog in th' ole Benbow!
<walks over, drains keg in one mighty gulp> <burps> <pharts>
Yarr... That be one mighty foine drop o' cordial there. Be there ennyfing ... urk! Wotz 'appenin? Why is yoose all gotte two 'eads? Ow come me knees be turned ter jelly? Wotz this big hard flat fing wot jumped up an banged me on me nutte? Where am I? Who am I? Where did all them pretty pink hephalents come from? gurgle......
Quote from: pieces o nine on January 29, 2008, 12:35:29 AM
Yarrrrr! Me father worked for the Ealth Department, an learned us about the foine points of Safety Hinspections where food or food-loike products be himposed upon the undiscernin publick.
Oid' loike to know ow many rat hairs per 100 gram sample, and/or ow many hinsect parts per 10 gram sample av been found in Black Bart's Fish Head Stew.
Thankee
pieces o nine
Arrrrrrr...I has a very high level o 'Quality Control' in me Fish Head Stew factory. I has a man perched high up in a Crows nest above the main Cauldron. He be armed wiv a musket an he shoots any rats what appen ta bubble to the surface.
Quote from: Black BartArrrrrrr...I has a very high level o 'Quality Control' in me Fish Head Stew factory. I has a man perched high up in a Crows nest above the main Cauldron. He be armed wiv a musket an he shoots any rats what appen ta bubble to the surface.
Oi notice how ye've omitted any mention o'hinsect parrrts. Nonetheless, me moind is eased summat regarrrdin yer high quality control standarrrds per rat hairs. Oi be of half a moind to wifdraw me complaint regarrrdin the pot pies wot ave been forced hupon me cabin boys at Portsmouth Pirate Public School.
Me main concern wif the hinsect parrrts be for newtrition. Oi knows me cabin boys be getting their protein wif the weevil biscuits oi sent wif'em. When oi learned their weevil biscuits bin confiscated by the staff and replaced wif the BBFH Pot Pies... oi became concerned, loike.
Iffen ye can just clear up the question regarrrdin hinsect parrrts, oi'll be much obilged.
yours sincerely,
pieces o nine
Hoy, Oi h'aint pink! Jist a noice shade o' grey, sceptin' where oi gots bruises from fahlling ovar afta a rum or ten.
What did ye put in that there mead, Darl,, whut makes a fellah see pink?
An', Bart, oi've got yer sack o' ship-killin' Teredo worms and nasty bitey beetles. Oi'll put 'em in this here convienient emptee barrel....
Quote from: pieces o nine on January 29, 2008, 03:11:53 PM
Iffen ye can just clear up the question regarrrdin hinsect parrrts, oi'll be much obilged.
yours sincerely,
pieces o nine
Arrrrrrgh...hinsect parrrts?
I thinks the Bilge Rats eat em up afore me Quality control shoots em.
Quote from: Pachyderm on January 29, 2008, 03:17:41 PM
Hoy, Oi h'aint pink! Jist a noice shade o' grey, sceptin' where oi gots bruises from fahlling ovar afta a rum or ten.
What did ye put in that there mead, Darl,, whut makes a fellah see pink?
Oi diddn't do anyting! T's a Monasteery brew, an' he drank from t' keg! Oi tryed t' warn 'im but he diddn't listened!
An' t' pink ting, Oi don't tink he ment ye. Ther's a large chunk o' Capt'n DaveL's pink frilly dress caught under t' table...
...Urtle? Gumnep, snozzle whaddo gitchum! <Snork> <Burble>
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Quote from: Bluenose on January 30, 2008, 04:15:29 AM
...Urtle? Gumnep, snozzle whaddo gitchum! <Snork> <Burble>
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Arrrgh...ye've been talkin to E Razer again!
ZZZZZZ
Uh? Erm. Oh, Itsh yew Bartie Boy! Yoor me besh fren, Bartie, I remembersh wen ye introdooshed mee ter Fransheen the Flaggellateraterer. Sheesh me besh fren tooo. Yer all me besh frensh, Darlicilicila, Hephalentoderm, Griffenish, Peaches er Nine, Peeshes o' Eight, Dubloons, Reals, yer all me besh frenjshs. Whize everywun wobblin all over the place? Why iz that big hard flat fing jumpin up at me scone agin? OW! Did enny wun get the number of that truck?
ZZZZZZZ
Eraser (http://www.channel4.com/listings/C4/index.jsp?offset=-2) has just been on TV !
I clicked on the link but I only got a message on the Channel4 website saying the link wasn't working or something...was it really him?
'tee vee'? 'website'? What are you sodden louts burbling about now?
Barkeep, another round o' grog if ye please....
Quote from: Black Bart on January 30, 2008, 02:13:26 PM
I clicked on the link but I only got a message on the Channel4 website saying the link wasn't working or something
Link above corrected.
Quote from: Black Bart on January 30, 2008, 02:13:26 PM
...was it really him?
:ROFL:
Yarrrrr! It be the Eraserator!
(http://www.scottfish.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/simpson-doh.png)
Who needs mead fer h'entertainment? I near piddled meself...
Yarrr. Oi don't need mead fer hentertainment, but pointin an larfin be thirsty work.
Oi'd like to buy a round o'mead fer those who larfed, and a double to Black Barrrt fer bein a good sporrrt abowt it.
BB believes anything you tell 'im in The Admiral Benbow. Could be caused by the same reason 'e falls off buses. Also the reason 'e never wins the Quiz. Buy 'im another round !!!!! At least it makes 'im incapable of typing up long winded tales. ;)
Quote from: Griffin NoName on January 31, 2008, 12:34:21 AM
BB believes anything you tell 'im in The Admiral Benbow. Could be caused by the same reason 'e falls off buses. Also the reason 'e never wins the Quiz. Buy 'im another round !!!!! At least it makes 'im incapable of typing up long winded tales. ;)
Harrr...ye'll be tellin me ye baint all be real Pirates next!
Arrrrrrr...I started off a really long tale about Hamsters and Quantum mechanics, but then I got all thirsty an everything went black...I thought I'd been sucked into a Black Hole, but it turned out it was The Admiral Benbow's kitchen!
'Ay Gert.... three mugs down 'ere, if ye's please, luv..... actually, Oi'll be over in yon dark corner.
Here's a pound of cloves to pay forward the tab and a handful of nutmegs for y'self.
Oh an' Gertie, ther kitchen needs a good cleaning; Black Bart's bin in ther agin.
Arrrgh...that be a lie...no one in their roight mind goes voluntarily into The Admiral Benbow's kitchen. The stuff wot they refer to loosely as 'food' comes out of a dumb waiter which unlike most dumb waiters wot come down, comes up from some godforsaken depths!
Never, on any acount, arsk fer a doggy bag!
Ello, Gertie. Could ye set me up wiv a bottle o'mead in me yoozhul corner? Fanks.
Also, oi were considerin a happetizer nibbil ov sum koind. Does ye use 'ealthy (but bad fer thee hinviramint) palm oil here, or jes thee regular unealthy (an still bad fer thee henviramint) koind in perpetratin yer chips?
What does ye want wif a ship's carpenter soaked in oil? Is it good fer the skin, or sommat? Or is there a darker purpose?
Arrrrrrrrrgh...he weren't horiginally soaked in oil, but we sent im into The Admiral Benbow kitchen to arsk fer some Tarbasco sauce...he came back screamin an covered in pitch shoutin somat about Quazimodo runnin the kitchen!
Oi, Gert, luv.... a round o' grogs for any pub crawlers wot happen in here, on me tab.....
Well, in tha case, Oi'll 'ave a round er Cap'n's Delights then wiv brasso chasers...
One round comin up
grabs em as they sail by
an one day oil must tells ye all abouts tha day that carpenter gots 'iself soaked in oil
swaggerin in and demandin tobasco
well 'e got showed
demandin
in me kitchen
tha nerve
Oi finks as oi be reddy t'try wun ov 'em "cap'ns deloights", but oi'd loike a mead chaser wiv moine, jest in case...
Fanks.
Arrrr...I be goin T Total today...just a glass o water mateys...
Only jokin, Bwa ha ha ha...
Anyone else noticed Bart seems to be doing a TFM pub crawl?
Hic! ;D
Arrrgh. He be crawlin' becoz he fell orf 'is barstool an got awl tangled hup in 'is beard...
Aaarrrgh...jus ta let everyone know...The Black Spot, Cap'n Cronan, meself an the rest o the gang are plannin ta get drunk an smash up the Admiral Benbow as usual on TLAP Day.
Arrrgh.
Ware be evrewun?
Oi be poppin in , nows an' then , oi jus hasint postid much since affer laffin at ye's recint wits , thee post oi haddin mine nay be up ta standarrrrrrrrrrrrd , oi be afeard .
Arrrrrgh...the Captain's Delight be hextra strong this week.
Quote from: Black Bart on August 28, 2008, 03:12:17 PM
Arrrrrgh...the Captain's Delight be hextra strong this week.
Oi think that's Catpin's fishwisky ye be suppin' Bart....
Tastes 'bout the same but there be more fish eyes floatin' in it (an' less sheep eyes).
Mmmmmmmh...tasty!
I prefer the brains though.
Oy! ya' scruvy sea dog!
If ya' 'ave to eat it go sit by a proper table!
We 'ave other payin customers that doesn't want fish eyes in their drinks!
Now where did that newcomer go?
Ye' know him, with tha hat with feathers...
*The entrance is magnificent, the swagger is wide and lary it was just a shame the feathers were ripped orf' 'is 'at by them there meat jig hooks hung over the door*
'"Avaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast there me lumbagoe ridden compatriots'
'Captains Whatever all round.........join me at me the table and throw some knives at the dartboard'
*practices his leering at Darlica.....ends up looking like a constipated Orang-u-tang with a 2 Durian fruits stuck in 'is gob....oh well*
*grins back*
Ah there ye' are!
Welcome to Captain Benbows.
Oh boy knife throwing-- we've not 'ad a bit o the knife throwing round here in a bit- at least not since the cook found a * 'certain pirate' in his pantry wif a quart bottle o brasso in 'is knickers anyway
* notice that I (shamelss gossip that I am) did not name the 'certain pirate'-- that would be embarrassing for him-- but if you paypal me 6 Cronans or 10 Shekels I'll whisper the name in your ear.
OI denies it all. Oi nevva. Not know 'ow. Besides, Oi haz a speshul deel wiv the Brasso factory an get me supplies in by the tanker load.
Oh, bugga. Ye didunt sez hoo it were yet did ye?
<whistles to self>
Ahem, 'ave the boys bin keepin up wiv th' demand fer Cap'n's Deelite. Gert? Oi bin sailin in distunt seas lately, an' oi 'ad ter leeve 'm ter their hown devyces. Iffen Oi haz ter go up to the Portsmouth Pirate School Distillery ter sort em owt, there'll be hell ter paye!
He he, we've got a chap who's a real Portsmouth resident over on TOP...he's been telling us what's good about Portsmouth but of course...Bwa ha ha ha, he don't know the half of it.
I'll have anuvver Alligator Enriched Brasso chaser landlord and make it snappy.
*Staggers in to pub in a most dishevelled manner, wild eyed and ranting summat bout finding his *tinted net*
I'll have at least 2 pints of Backlash and one o' em famous brasso chasers please young Darlica please...........found me way back, ruddy amazing me lubberlies........*quoffs desperately*
*He suddenly notices Darlicas W's O' MD and all is well with the world *
*editors note*
W's O' MD is the fond term for them there secret Weapons O' Mass Distraction...they said they didn't exist .....they blardy well do if youse squint long enuf*
Ah, it's awake.
;D
Guess the trip to PC World worked, then.
Rumfustians all round!
*notices Big Ears has stumbled in and hides his money pouch in his sporron*
..and what is this PC world you speak of, pray tell........we only live in this world and rumour has it, it is flat with slightly bevelled edges...
;)
...sidles over to bluenose to discuss wether he needs some illict brasso he's recently come in to.......fell of the back of a schooner youse know
PC is Post Cronan, see?
An' hidin' yer loot in yer sporran means one o' too fings:
Ye needs ter git py-rating ter get more loot, or
yer sporran is unusually large.... :o
An' Oi dissint stumble. Can't. Four knees, see. Oi kin be on me feet, or off 'em, but not in between, as the actress sed ter the bishop.
Brasso? Amateurs. 'Ere, Gert luv, pass us over the keg wif the skull onnit. The wun marked "poi-sin". Ta.
*glug, glug, noise like a drain being unblocked*
Gin, milk an' Ex-lax. Proper job. Better stand aside...
...whips out his Sou Wester from his sporran and swops it with Fine and Dandy hat ......which he carefully folds and puts back into his sporran....well the size has already ben noted ;D
and manages to slip in some senna pods to Pachys Keg ( with handle)
...that should keep him running.....
Gin, milk an' Ex-lax an you thought senna pods was a punishment?
We 'as a long wey ter go wif thissun.
*sounds of hammering on door*
Roight, has per instruk-tions, Oi 'as pinned me off-icial notice ter the door.
Oi wants a good floggin'. Oi 'as me own cat, but one o' th' tails has fell orf, so its a cat o'eight tails. Th' safety word is "Australopithecus". Oi'll buy the rum.
Ta
Cap'n P
An we be back to sporrans are we?
*Takes Gert aside to Hexplain that wen yooose comes from the Land of Scotia, that De wearing hove the Sporran is a compulsory fixture, did you not notice Big Ear's sporran made from a small rodent....so fashionable in the late 1750's. Finds himself fixated with Gerts W o' MD's and tries stop the dribble running down 'is chin*
Me sporran is not fer discussion. Hanyway, it is a copy-barra. Only looks small 'cos me monastikal Robey whatsit is the size o' a ship's sail. In fact, has been used as a ship's sail, until me crew rebelled an' teld me ter put it back on, or they was desertin' at the next port.
But Oi foxed 'em, an' nevvir went back ter port. Went back an redd me diary, that was the year o' the great maroonin', an' all....
ummmmm
GERT!
i coman ye ta fetch me a woot beah anna jelly sammich
um if dare be noe stwaberry oil ave razzberry
fank ye yer welkum
Oh NO!!!
I goes on tha vacathin and look who ye lot lets in.
:-* oh but it be gud to sees ya lad in anycase! glad ye made it.
an the kitchen be thata way - round tha back o tha bar.
Oooooooooo
i soo fursty antee Gert
i coman ya ta fetch me a flagin ove mango blud !
fank ye ye welkum plez .
"Oy! Ya' wee little bugger Oi think your uncle forgot t' teach you any manners... Oi also think he forgot t' tell ya' that t' only ones t' give commands in Capten Benbow's be us wenches... Ya' want a soda, you say please or you get nothin' but a good spankin.
Now say please and t' soda be yours... An' you can tell Capt Cuzzen it's goin' on his tab.
;)
*raises hand timidly*
"Hello Oh Beautious Wenches of the Admiral Benbow. Kin Oi ave a soda?
Oi be reddy fer me spankin' naow."
Ye'get yer soda, but that kin o' spankin Oi leave to madam Fifi...
;)
Quote from: Pachyderm on June 01, 2009, 12:10:13 PM
*raises hand timidly*
"Hello Oh Beautious Wenches of the Admiral Benbow. Kin Oi ave a soda?
Oi be reddy fer me spankin' naow."
kin oi hava spanky too ?
YArrrr...
P'raps we should have a little talk about 'all that' Nefyoo.
HOKAY !
i comane yas ta pway karrrrrds wiff Me an Burdy !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
furst we wull pway
GO FISS HEADS !
Announcin:
As per suggestshun by Darlica
(cos I aint takin th blame fer it)
The Offishul Admiral Benbow
Wenches Jello Ressling Turnamint
:mrgreen:
So Oi git all t' credit if t' be a success? ;D
Oi'll go open the doors.
;D
If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen, making Jell-o. What flavor do you think will clash most with DaveL's dress? ;D
Jus' doent make lime, it moight cure 'is scurvy!
Oi'd stick to Original Flaver (hoovs, horns & hide), if Oi had me druthers.
'Ow about pineapple?
I heard one of it's uses is to enhance the flavor of...
Ooops! Wrong thread!
<Enters bar, notices all the seats near the jelly pool are taken>
<Moves over to just behiond the best seats>
<Opens large packet of Old Ron's famous sausages>
<Eats several sausages>
<Waits for the sausages to do their stuff>
<Sits down in now vacvant seat, spreads out over three chairs, opens flagon of Captain's Delight XO>
Aaarrgghhh! Tha' be b'tter. Now bring on them nekid wenches...
*Shows up behind the blue captain talking in to his ear*
Capt. Bluenose dear, 'ho said the wenches gonna be nekkid?
Tat leave nothin' for the imagunation... Now thin white muslin drenched in jello that ought t' be fodder for yer dirty mind. ;D
*disappears before the good captain turns his head*
*back in the girls makeshift lockerroom*
Girrrls, 5 layers o' thin cotton blouses, bodice and underskirt and undies that's t' dress code for t' tournament. Feel free t' flin' jello at t' audience at any time but don't drag t' poirats in t' t' pool some o' them haven't seen a soap for a decade or so. :D
*high, falsetto voice*
"Any room fer a late entrant? Oi be Cap'n, erm, Mrs Capting that is Pachyderm. Oi brung a nioce white sail ter wear..."
(to "Missus Capting")
Oye, look here, dearie, we've all got a bit of hormones, but that beard has got to go. We only let clean shaven Wenches in here. (Faces, that is- legs and underarms is optional.) Off with ya!
(to the gurls)
G'arrgh, I was hoping we could pull summa the boys into the pit. Hadn't thought through the hoijean factor. Whaddif we gots another tub of just the plain horse-hoof gelatin wif some soap thrown in and give a good scrub ter whomever dares? Couldn't hurt, as I nowticed quite a foul smell wafting through the doining area just now. Thought we'd forgotten ter scrape up another dead one, again!
YArrrr...
Why don't ye throw some cake and rum into the pit so we can have a trifle wrestlin' competition.
Quote from: Opsanus tau on September 16, 2009, 05:48:39 PM
G'arrgh, I was hoping we could pull summa the boys into the pit. Hadn't thought through the hoijean factor. Whaddif we gots another tub of just the plain horse-hoof gelatin wif some soap thrown in and give a good scrub ter whomever dares? Couldn't hurt, as I nowticed quite a foul smell wafting through the doining area just now. Thought we'd forgotten ter scrape up another dead one, again!
Jes' chuck 'em in a tub o' lye-water - they's greasy enuf to make there owne soap. ;)
* slips into the wench's locker room *
* hangs up garment bag with the requisite ressling uniform *
Yarrrgh, hoo be judjin this resslin match, ennywayes?
Arrrgh we followin' thee Graeco-Roman rools (witch were manely fer boys, oi finks) oar be this "freestoile"?
Arrrgh their pennilteas fer "Hunnessisairy Ruffness" oar "Hunsportsminloike Condukt" ?
Fank Neptune you foinally showed up, Niners! We was lookin fer you.
Pennilteas fer "Hunnessisairy Ruffness" oar "Hunsportsminloike Condukt" ? Evans no, dearie, we gets POINTS fer 'em.
Darl and I wuz finkin of asking Griffin ter be judge.
Ooh, noice bodice, by the by.
Good!
Oi was thinking t' 'ealth regulasions rules says no Poirats in the jelly tub... But what if we flin' enough jelly at t' crowd an wressel t'em on t' floor? ;D
Hmmm, good finking, there, Darlie. And by the way, 'ow does we make lye jelly?
Now then! Git bakk ter ye corners all o' ye. ('Ow menny corners we got?)
Oi sez 1st past the whipped Jello pisst post be ther winner.
Old on, there, m'lud- give us a chance to get pisst, first.
Plus, me cod-forsaken bodice doesn't want to stay shut.
yarrrrgh! me bloomers arrrgh rydin hup!
oi bain't yoost t'so menny lairs ov clothin, loike!
...rememmer thee crowd-pleesin' rooteens, grrrls...
(http://www.dba-oracle.com/genealogy/images/lady_boxer1.jpg)
Aaaarr!! Ladies, ye need moor clothin'. An' mek sure tis Jello resistant.
Avaarrrssstttt!!!! Me Me Me! Oi vulunteeer ter apply the jelly!
Oye there, matey- we're not wrestlin' the gents (yet)! Only the champion gets ta do that.
Quote from: pieces o nine on September 18, 2009, 06:07:34 AM
...rememmer thee crowd-pleesin' rooteens, grrrls...
(http://www.dba-oracle.com/genealogy/images/lady_boxer1.jpg)
Good one, Niners.
Yer Honor Griffin, since we's all wearin' five blouses, I hope that'll be jello-proof enuf whilst still allowing for some fascinating seepage.
Ye be forgettin' the Seven Veils !
Ai, veils? Wen t' poirats dream of india its t' WestIndia? Rrrrigt?
Damm tat Cloumbusus lad an' 'is poor imagiunation...
Anyho' Oi got tese mosquito nets fr'm Fifi's tey'll do as veils if need be.
Vales?
We dun needs no stinkin vales!
Yarrrgh, fellow resslers, but oi finks wun ov thee pyrats be tryin t'sneeke hinto thee ring! Me wun good oi's got jello innit, so oi cant fo'cuss as good as yooshul.
Griffin, yer Judgeshippe, oi calls fer a tyme-out t'detarrrghmin witch wun ov these scurvy blaggards hit is...
(http://www.hairrific.com/graphics/gibson_drawing.jpg)
H'ok Lasses. Oi be 'andin' owt the miniature spy cameras fer the CCTV - sew them inter yer nether garments an' we'll katch the h'intruder.
Beggin yer Judgeshippe's parrrghdin, loike, but if us sews 'em inter arrrgh nether garrrghmints, thee hofendin' pyrate moight get *orfully* close afore ye catches 'em!
On refleckshun, oi wifdraws me concern.
Stand back! I'm going in!
Yer a hin spearashun ter us awl, Opsa!
Yarrr! Tha' be th' way ladees!
<notices other punters eyeing off vacant seats next to himself>
<lifts one cheek from the seat and allows the effects of Big Ron's sausages to permaeate the room>
<notices other punters have suddenly vanished, for some reason>
Ay! It stink worse than Black Bart's fishhead stew in here!!!
An' there sits Capt. Bluenose looking all smug...
*walks over to the captain*
Me derest captain Oi see ye'r already enjoyin' your self... T'at's good but ye see our ot'er guests be no...so ye do that again, an' either or ye be out or t' other gentlemen 'ere will 'elp ye put a plug init.
Now you stop eatin' t'ose sausages so we can all 'ave a good time!
;)
*ties knot in trunk*
*sits down next to Cap'n Bluenose*
"Evenin' Blue. Whens the acktion startin'? Oi see yez 'as been at the sausages agin"
Hi there Pachy, you ole sea dog! Not much bin happenin yet, 'cept Oi bin splashed wiv a bit 'o jelly, makes fer sum interstin stains on me frock coat, eh? Fancy a sausage?
*offers oil stained paper bag to Pachy*
Quote from: Darlica on September 22, 2009, 09:49:49 AMye do that again, an' either or ye be out or t' other gentlemen 'ere will 'elp ye put a plug init.
Oi don' think a bottle-kork'll 'old that in, but oi found summin's peg-leg unner a table.
Not well porlished, is't? Frum the splinters oi'd say some mangy cur bin chewin' on in.
Anywun seen Cap'n Aggie? Oi's 'erd 'e mis'happropriated me best peg leg wot I wer goin' ter ware fer the xmas party.
Roight that's it...forty lashes fer menshunin Xmas afore we've even had Halloween!!!!
"Ta, Blue"
*happy contented chewing sounds*
"Big Ron's gettin' better at the ol' sausages, eh? Ye kin ahlmost taste the meat in these ones. Does we get ter lick the jelly off've the laydees after the foight?"
*sounds of distant rumbling*
"Sorry, shouldn't have et all that boiled cabbage an onion ba-jees before comin' in"
Quote from: Griffin NoName on September 25, 2009, 12:46:46 AM
Anywun seen Cap'n Aggie? Oi's 'erd 'e mis'happropriated me best peg leg wot I wer goin' ter ware fer the xmas party.
If that be yer best ye's moight as well strap back on what the barber cut orf....
Quote from: Black Bart on September 25, 2009, 02:06:50 PM
Roight that's it...forty lashes fer menshunin Xmas afore we've even had Halloween!!!!
Aaaargh! But Oi get a credit of forty lashes as a prize for being the first to menshiun it so that cancels it out. ArrrGh!
G'ARRRR! I'll gives the lot o' you fifty lashes wif a mouldy loggerhead if yer don't shut yer gobs and pay more attention to us loidies, as we is very delicate about our jello ressin.
*fumbles round n pocket of frock coat, comes up with another paper bag. Looks inside*
Yarr! Pachy, lookit wot Oi found! Sum o' me old mum's 'ard boiled eggs. Feel loike sum?
*stuffs two eggs in gob hole, munches contentedly, offers bag to Pachy*
* syrup tishusly consults "Profeshunawl Ressling Hattacks" on eyepod *
hmmmmmmm, hmm, hmmm, roight.
* taykes deepe breff an prepayres t' hex acute "#28.7: Hair Pull" *
*takes bag*
"Ta, Blue. Tis a whoile since Oi last 'ad an 'ard boiled hegg. Kin Oi tempt yez with a speciality o' me ship's cook? Deep-fried brie, strong mustard and brussel sprouts, puts hairs on yer chest..."
"Jaysus, would yez look at that! Me favourite attack, the old No.27.8! Fair play ter ye, Pieces, tis allus a crowd pleaser that one!"
*UNGODLY HOLLER!!!!*
Opsa stumbles as she turns to make the counter-attack, landing face-first in the jello. It soaks through several layers of frontage. Wiping two peep-holes to see through, she growls, putting her hands on her ample hips before landing a dainty boot in the posterior end of Niners, who makes a fantastic Slip-n-Slide maneuver through a fabulous transparent V of jello before slamming into Blue and Pachy's chairs, causing them to drop their bag of eggs.
"Ere, Blue, does this mean we can join in now? Yer heggs is almost as covered in Jello as Opsa over there."
*observing the look in Pieces eyes*
Err, Pachy, me bucko, Oi finks now might not be at all horportune. Hennyways, Oi got a tub of luverly octopus trifle me cooke made in me uvver pockit, Oi reckons it culd do wiv a bit o' jello...
*scoops some jello into tub*
there! perfick!
*passes a spoon to Pachy, uses another one to help himself*
Yumm! The ocky be jest delishuss!
Lassies! Decorum!!
"Did sumwun say 'rum'?" Don't moind if Oi do"
*turns to Pieces*
"Moight Oi 'ave sum ov yer Jello, luvverly laydee? T'would go a treat wif this 'ere hocktopus. Care for a tentacle or two?"
*lifts flagon of Captain's Delight XO from the under the chair, takes a draught*
Hoooeeee!
*thumps knees and thighs*
That were an hexellent week that were. Puts hares on yer chest that duzz (an' on the palms o' yer 'ands, an' on yer ears.)
Them senior boys at the PPPS Dictillery sure be at the top o' their game theeze daiz.
'Ere, Pachy, 'ave a swig o' sumpin ter warm the cokkels...
"Yer a gent, Blue, an' no miss-stake. Allow me ter repay the hospital-ity wiv a nip of this cheeky little number. Tis Brasso, mustard vinegar, some Eye-talian stuff called Grappa, lashings o' rum and a wee hint of gunpowder. Best not light yer pipe fer half an ower after ye finnish it, tho."
"Don't Pieces look pretty when she's mad?"
You haint seen "pretty" yet, me bucko!
(By the way, this appens ta be rum flavoured jello, we wenchers oughter know, we tested it quite a lot afore we comed out ere, don'tchya know, an believe you me, it's enuf ter grow yer a new eyeball under that cute satin patch of yourn.)
I'll ressel eny bloke in th' house!!
Thankee Pachy.
*takes a large swig*
*sucks in breath*
Oi gotta 'and it ter ye, pachy, that be one helluva foine drop. D'yer mind iffen Oi sends one of the senior boys over ter check out the recipe? Oi reckon the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Distillery wuld pay 'andsomly for the roight ter make that brew. Shuld be a noice accompaniment for cap'n's Delight Oi reckons.
*turns to watch the "ladies"*
Hoi Umpire! Is that hold allowed?
<sotto voce>Oi 'ope so, coz Oi reckon I might try it out tonight over at Madam Fifi's with Francine the Flagellator.
* signals to Opsa, hoping she can see through the jello *
* pieces and Opsa work their way back to the judge's dais, throwing in all the crowd-pleasing holds, then 'axidently' bump into it, tipping Her Judgeshippe Griffin into the jello *
Did we do that? Oopsie-doodles, M'lud!
Sh'no'olds Sh'leggo Sh'ooksSh'banned ! Glurp.
Duzz this meen we kin join in now?
No
:ROFL:
We needs two more gurls ta join in before we pulls in ther boys!
*enters the ring, adjust bodice and then kick of the shoes for better traction*
Ahoy! Me hearties! 'hoo's gonna challange the Scandihoovian jello werstlin chamipon wench?
*rolls up the sleeves and look at Griffin*
Anny suggestions ma'm ?
Bluenose wer lookin' fer a fight. Do you fancy your chances?
'Ang on! Oi'll 'ave ter go an' get chang'd out o' me frock coat inter a, well, frock!
Duzz Oi get to try owt that new hold of Opsa's?
Ye play by t' rooles, Oi play by t' rools...
Ye stray Oi'm gonna do t'at too an t'at mig't 'urt. ;D
'Ere, how did Blue get in th' ring?
I drugged 'im in wif me patented Suffocatin Cleavage Hold TM.
(He don't look so good, summone give him a sip a sumpin...)
Captains XO is like water t' 'im, won't do a t'ing to t' ol' sea dog...
'Ow about som' ice water? ;D
Oi leave to Laydee Grifinn to decide if Oi sho'l pour it inn 'is pants or mou't!
;D
Jello Only!! Rulez is rulez.
Awroight, but does we put the Jello down his trousers or his gullet?
<comes to>
<shakes head>
<looks up into Opsa's ample bosom, ahem, eyes>
<smirks>
Kin we dooit agin?
Ye can put the jello just anywheres ye like !
Laydee Opsa, ar' we tag teamin' t'is one or ya' want 'im to yer self?
Th' more the merrier! Let's show him the Devillish Double Cleavage Clamp done as a foursome! Your girls, Blue's 'ead, my girls- it'll look loik a bowlin' alley!
righty'o ;D
<notices look of alarm on Pachy's face>
It's allright matey! Oi'll be foine!
Yarr! Lemme attem!
<buries face into approaching loverly softnesses>
<shakes head around>
Blurble, blub, glub, blu, blblbllll, b,b......
<passes out>
That's not alarm, it's an attack of Advanced Jealousy!
Yer next, Elephant Man!
:sportswoman: YOU :sportswoman:
* distrackted by thee closed-captions on thee new '
jumbo-middling-sized-trons' *
Pachyderm: Oi were in thee nick o' toime. Ye were in great pairel. Bluenose: Oi don't fink oi was. Pachyderm: Yarrrgh, ye was. Ye was in turbull pairel. Bluenose: Arrrgh, let me go back in'ere an face thee paireil. Pachyderm: No, hit be too paireluss. Bluenose: Yarrrgh, hit's me dooty as a pyrate t'sample as much pairel as oi can.
* attenshun returns t' resslin turny, awed by thee perfekshun ov Opsa's patented Suffocatin Cleavage Hold
TM *
* passes a bucket ov jello t'thee tag-teame on Bluenose *
Aye, Pachy lookit that! Our werdes be comming owt all by theirselfs!
<returns to task at hand>
<Reaches out wiv hands to task at hand, gives good squeeze>
...
BLAM!
<wakes up on the floor covered in Jello>
Errrmmm? Wot woz that? Oi finks Oi musta bin runned over by a kuppel of hippopostumousessess or summit.
Anyone seen that blaggard Darcy?...thar be a price on his head.
Ye bin reedin' too much Austen !
Quote from: Black Bart on October 06, 2009, 02:11:32 PM
Anyone seen that blaggard Darcy?...thar be a price on his head.
Y'aarrrggghhh, there'll be evin more onnis head if he gets near us!
Wabbitawabbitawabbita!
Oy, Oy! No throwing jello at Darcy. He would be unable to express how awful it felt, which is unfair.
Oi sais, pull 'im inta thee resslin pit! 'E seemes t'ave a poker up 'is ... cutlass sheath ... an hit moight loosen 'im hup a bit to flail around in thee jello fer awyle wif strong, hindependent, vyvashus pyrate wenches.
Yarrrgh, e'll be moor hapresheatiff ov thee long-sufferin Miss Eliza, oi finks.
Were's NefyuBB? Oi thought he'd be clammerin in 'ere at the first menshun of jelly...
Th' poor lil' squidling'd never survive the Jello pit!
C'mon girls, let's drag that Aggie in here! He's too clean!
Oh, no ye's don't! Oi don't fight with wimmin!
they always win - I let 'em :mrgreen:
Ye'll nay be gettin owtta it that eezy, Aggie me bucko!
<throws big gob of jello into Aggie's eyes>
<Rolls across under Aggie's feet while Cap'n Pachy gives him a good push from behind while he's distracted>
Yarr! They ye be me ole chum, jess wait fer a dose o' Opsa's patented Suffocatin Cleavage Hold TM. Hit be werth it!
<reaches out for nearest protrusion on a jello soaked pirate wench, gives good squeeze>
BLAM!
<falls back on floor, unconcious again>
Oh noes!
The blue one's out again...
*grabs Capt. Bluenose by his feet and drags him out of the ring*
Oi won't mess wif Capt. Aggi... Cutlasses, peglegs an hooks Oi can deal wif but 'is missus has a cleaver an knows 'ow to use 't...
;) :P
Quote from: Bluenose on October 08, 2009, 05:49:36 AM
<reaches out for nearest protrusion on a jello soaked pirate wench, gives good squeeze>
Wipe the jelly out yer good eye ye gob - that were a protrusion but that weren't a
wench it were protrudin' from.
these monk robes jes ain't meant fer resslin...
Quote from: Darlica on October 08, 2009, 11:15:57 AM
Oi won't mess wif Capt. Aggi... Cutlasses, peglegs an hooks Oi can deal wif but 'is missus has a cleaver an knows 'ow to use 't...
;) :P
Well OI gots a cleaver in me cleavage, er... somewhere...
...aw crumb, musta left in in a poirate head...
<wakes up as head bumps on edge of ring, knocking tri-corned hat on floor>
<Darlica drops feet>
Thankee Ma'am!
<picks up hat>
'Ere! Who put this cleever in me 'at?
Sorry there, matey... ere, you can wear my cleavage as a hat ter keep yer dome warm whilst I stitch up the damage.
Arrrgghhh! Ye be a foine wench, an no mistake.
<reaches up to adjust temporary hat, thinks better of it, returns hand to side>
"What this 'ere resslin bout needs is fruit!"
*empties piles of old, soft bananas and oranges from surprisingly roomy pockets in velvet frock coat*
'Ere now, we've become a fruit salad.
But I must say the soft bananers are a bit disappointin-loik.
Well, if Cap'n Bluenose don't release 'is grip soon..... ;)
It won't jest be 'is nose whut's blue....
*Adds raisins to the mix*
Oy! Ye all stop adding adulterations to the Jello.
:redcard: to Cap'n Pachy.
<notices location of grip on Aggie>
<look of horror>
<releases grip>
Sorry there, me bucko, Oi were a bit confuzzled wiv all thems cleavages running abouwt yer know...
<Remembers cleavage hat, snuggles in>
<Sighs contentedly>
Yarr! This be the loife!
:devil: :dontknow: :pirate: :pinkelephant:
Surreptitiously wanders around, slipping slices of soggy mango out of pockets.....
*pulls out a large whipped-cream-topped sponge cake and tosses it in*
Roight, Oi didn't sign op fer a cook-along...
*stomps out trying to free my hair from mashed bananas*
*comes back with the fire hose and a huge rubber scraper*
Wot, ye's don' like trifle? ;D
Aarrgh...don't trifle with me matey!
Black Bart is banned !
Don't you mean banded? ;)
Dunno. I jest know we can't be doing with Jello as well as Long Winded Stories. ;D
What the eck is Jello anyway? Whilst ye be tellin me, thar be toim fer anuvver pianoforte recital...this toim from Elton Darcy.
Oh pray do not give us more aggravation
One's tried of one's discipline
Saturday Night's alright for a Quadrille
get a spot of action in...
Satudday, Sadduday, Sadduday
Satudday, Sadduday, Sadduday
Saddudday, Sadduday, Sadiday noights all roight...
Hey- I gots sponge cake in me bustle and a whole poirate in me blouse!
Quote from: Opsanus tau on October 16, 2009, 11:03:15 PM
Hey- I gots sponge cake in me bustle and a whole poirate in me blouse!
Sumptin's not rite with that pichur - wot pirate 'round 'ere still got all 'is bits attached?
Quote from: Agujjim on October 16, 2009, 11:14:09 PM
Quote from: Opsanus tau on October 16, 2009, 11:03:15 PM
Hey- I gots sponge cake in me bustle and a whole poirate in me blouse!
Sumptin's not rite with that pichur - wot pirate 'round 'ere still got all 'is bits attached?
:ROFL:
Oim sorry, I shoulda checked before I made any wild claims!
<wakes up from all the talking>
<snuggles head further into cleavage hat>
Hmmmfffff......
<dozes off again>
Arrrr, that be thee one good thing about a Jane Austin novel, there be plenty o cleavage...shame about thee pianoforte.
Not as much cleavage as Jordan (on the Graham Norton show just now).
Jordan...in a Jane Austen novel? it just wouldn't work...or would it? :mua:
:mrgreen:
That's it- I'm pulling EVERYONE into the jello!
'ay, it's not bad - ye can rilly taste the hoof....
wate, there don't usully be CHUNKS o' hoof innit
OY PATCHY - KEEP YER TOWNALE CLIPPINS TO YESELF YE BLAGGART!
Thems not me townale clippins. Oi is sufferin' from catastrophic dandruff.
Me townale clippins is fixed ter the soide of me boat, as armour platin'.
Very resourceful, Oi must say.
But stay away from the Brain Bleach and give yer pore scalp a rest. Ya could serve stewe on these flakes, luv!
Oi 'ave. Me crew et th' flakes, and binned th' stewe over the gunnel.
And Oi finds th' flakes is grate fer tradin' wif iggnerent savages. Oi tells 'em it's a Flanian Pobble bead, or a Triganic Pugh or some such, an' legs it wiv the goodies afore they realises they bin done over loike a kipper. Course, does limmit me ports 'o call round them parts..
O carp, I knowed I reconoised 'em! I traded a busted cudgel for a necklace made out of em on Pago-Pago. I fot they was pooker shells.
Oi'll sign it if'n yer wants, should up the value a bit Akshully, by sign, oi means scratch a "X". Ye may as well do it yerself.....
Oy, dirty lot!
T's time t' 'ose ye all down an tidy 'is place up in time for the celebration of Chatty Day
We need to 'ang pretty blu stuff from the chandeliers an the portraits on the walls should have stick on schnauzer moustaches!
Here be a nyce colleckshun t'choose from:
(http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/6372.jpg)
Quote from: pieces o nine on October 25, 2009, 07:54:48 PM
Here be a nyce colleckshun t'choose from:
(http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/6372.jpg)
Oi fink "B" be the most schnauser-loik.
Arrrgh...they jus looks loik thee clientelle o the Benbow ta me...I moight go fer E an learn meself some Kung Foo!
A rather hirsute lookin' bunch they be. Can ye get one for fellows with copius amounts of 'back hair?'
Aaaarrrr! Ye be behind the times. Good seafarin' men get their back hair waxed these days.
Yarr, well, Oi were in Madam Fifi's t'other night when she offered me a Brazillian. Ye kin himagine me surprize wen instead o' Madam Fifi's latest South Hamerican Himport the wenches poured hot wax all over me neverminds. A fing loike thatculd scar a poirate fer life Oi tells ye.
Oi simpafyzes wif yer payne, Blue. Oi duzzint *feel* hit -- an oi nivvir will, Cronan-willin' -- but oi simpafyzes wif it.
"Av ye looked hinto wun of them noo-fangled 'merkins' huntil yer back t'yer olde self?
Arrr luckee it were his 'neverminds' instead o summat serious!
Quote from: pieces o nine on October 31, 2009, 07:45:18 AM
"Av ye looked hinto wun of them noo-fangled 'merkins' huntil yer back t'yer olde self?
They be much too 'hexpensiv to bring back from the Colonies since the Revolution.
P'raps a beaver pelt from Lower Canada? Those New French be even more 'sperienced at handlin' beaver than the reg'lar French.
Arrr...I loiks a nice Beaver.
Ye sho'ld watch oot for t' sharp teeth though...
:o ;D
Oi hurjis ye t'reconsidder, Bart.
Them dam beevers be a noosants.
Do ye really want an hanimule whut is famous fer chewin' wood on a sailing galleon?
Ye moight end up swimmin' wif the Dreadful Spindly Killer fish....
Oi fink it all depends on what sort of beaver and what sort of wood we're talking about, here. ;) ;)
:ROFL:
Ay Laydee Ops's rrrigt.
Sharp teeth an, a wooden leg's a bad combinatihun... Sharp teeth an soft tissue's even worse...
:o :mrgreen:
YARRRGH!
Be this pubbe oar a desert?
Set hup a round ov pumpkin grogs fer everwun'!
:tequila:
OK - pumpkin grogs fer everwun on Pieces' tabbe. 8)
:yar: make moine a gallon wiv a pint o' Cap'n's Deloight fer a chaser...
Oi thot Oi smelled pumpkin grog somewherest!
An a round ov these as chasers...
:beer:
(http://www.thebarleyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/angry-orchard-crisp-apple.jpg)
Ah, 'tis the Benbow! Me ol' stomping ground! Did yez ever git th' stains outer th' rug?
Can Oi haz a barrel o' Capn's Deloight, a funnel and an alibi?
And would any of the luvverly wenches here present consent ter comforting an helephant with a hug or three an' a chance ter rest a weary head on capacious bosom?
Oi duzzint know if me bazooms arrrgh up ter yer standarrrds, Pachy, but as long as ye baint a REPUBLICAN hellafunt, yer welcome t'sit next t'me... (http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/b/big_boobs-429.gif)
Barkeep: oi'll 'ave annuvver "Angry Orchard" wiv a cone-yak chaser. Fank yew.
Ye best look owt 'e dont flap 'is eers P09 !
Oi rekkon it be 'is nose wot yer need ter wotch owt fer...
Ta muchly, Peeces. :YaY: T'would be an honour an' a pleasure ter snuggle up wif yer, ye is a proper wench ter sail the seven seas wif, an' no mistake.
And no, staunch Monarchist, me. Oi doesn't want ter be hung "By the Order of the People's Representatives", when the toime comes fer me shuffle off this mortal coil, Oi wants a proper ruler's signature on the bottom of the warrant...
Pachty!
:glomp:
;D
Ahh, 'tis our Scandinavian Goddess! And in an affectionate mood, it would appear. :YaY:
How fares ye, Darli?
G'arrrgghhh! Oi heard someones was makin' out in the bar, here, but everyones gone, the blaggards. Oh well, Oi'll have a pint o' yer cheapest rum. What? Ya used it ter get the stain outta the rug? Hmmm, not bad.
(looking around to make sure no-one's here.)
This round's on me!
*raises head from under table*
Not gone, just havin' vertical control issues. S'easier when yer sittin' down. Just you step right over here, rum an' cuddles all round....
<Crawls out from under the table in the back corner of the bar.>
Did sumwun say they woz buying a round? I'll have a dubble Cap'n's Deloight wiv a Brasso chaser!
G'arrrggghhh Oi say again! But oh well, thars no better drinking buddies than th'poirates, Oi always says. Speshelly when we lose track of who pays the tab.
:downit:
Where'd the squeezebox player go to? Oim about to be in th' mood for a Ding Dong!
:giggle:
There's a tab? :o
Curses an' naughty words, Oi thought it was free fer pyrates...
Ah, well, next round on me then. Just don't tell no-one, else Oi'll have ter hand in me "Yer a Scotsman" card. ::)
Yer secret's safe with me, Pachy old chum. So, what are we drinkin'?
Might Oi suggest a rum or several? ;D
A rum or several all around, then for me bestest mates, the poirates of Toadfish Monastery!
And any other poirates in the vicinity, as they moight be armed and whatnot.
Oi be shoutin a round fer all the pirates an siblings, sot oi be greatfulle fer this weekende ov greatfullnesse.
Oi be puttin this round on Bart's tabbe as oi be greatefull 'e be AWOL an don't pay much attenshun t'detayles loike these, so drink hearty!
An hexallent suggestion, as I'll be too inebriated to locate me wallet anyhow, most likely.
Oive never troid hot buttered rum. Maybe todays's the day?
Oi tried it once but spilt the bedevilled thing... how's ye sposed to hold the bottle wen it's all hot an' greasy?
Maybe we're spoze ta camp it in some bread?
Oi haz a nidea. Let's just make it in th' barrel, and then we can dip the tankards in it...
Superb thought, Elephant moi dear. Let's roll out th' barrrooooooll!
Tankards? Wotz rong wiv drinkin strate from th' barrel? Barrels all roun' Oi sez!
Alright, Oi've just welded a handle ter the bands on me barrel. Oi has made a barrard. Or a tankel. :mrgreen:
We had better make it in a vat....
Handles?!? Why don't we just get a big vat, put a motor in, and all jump in starkers-loik for a soak? The alkohol moight kill all the scurvy, too.
Yarrggghhhh! It not be the scurvey wot Oi be afeared of, it be the mange...
Vat, check.
Motor, check.
Nekkid, check.
Come on in, the butter's lovely...
Quote from: Pachyderm on November 26, 2012, 01:17:40 PM
Vat, check.
Motor, check.
Nekkid, check.
Come on in, the butter's lovely...
Y'arrrrrgh, this is the loif. Lubricated inside and out. ;D
Quote from: Opsa on November 26, 2012, 02:39:42 PM
Quote from: Pachyderm on November 26, 2012, 01:17:40 PM
Vat, check.
Motor, check.
Nekkid, check.
Come on in, the butter's lovely...
Y'arrrrrgh, this is the loif. Lubricated inside and out. ;D
Why am I never invited to these kinds of parties? :'(
Y'aaarrrggghhh, come on in.
We've drunk most of it by now, though. Is it toim for eggnog?
Eggnog moight be a bit sticky.
Sez the elephant covered in buttery rum.... ::)
Oy Pachy!
Why 'r ye dresseds up as a' delisious tasty slip n' slide?
:halo:
Oi is not. Oi is undressed as a slip 'n' slide....
:devil: :yippee: :devil: :pinkelephant: :pinkelephant: :pinkelephant: :pinkelephant: :pinkelephant:
Thee thought o' slippin' down a naked hefalump be not wot oi imagined meself ter be doin' down thee pub! :o
Yar, it be a magikal place of undreampt drerams, here.
(This nog has too much egg innit.)
Annywon fer piggy-back rides? Oi haz pented meself pink speshul, loike...
Hic! Why can Oi taste the egg in this 'ere eggnog?
Can we go back ter the buttery rum stuff?
Okay, but not so much butter in it, this time.
Oi has made a discovery. Oi can use me trunk as a snorkel, and propel meself along wif me ears. Oi is a Snuggle-class attack sub... ;D
Dons goggles, and disappears to the sound of faint giggling.
Quote from: Pachyderm on December 10, 2012, 08:49:49 PM
Oi has made a discovery. Oi can use me trunk as a snorkel, and propel meself along wif me ears. Oi is a Snuggle-class attack sub... ;D
Dons goggles, and disappears to the sound of faint giggling.
Reminds me of a Kevin Bloody song, that... ;D
Oi be away fer a few days an returns ter finde ye lot hup to e'en worse than yushewal!
:o
:D
Oh no... Oi ain't fallin fer t'is one... we don' 'ave any squdlings THAT big in tha moat, specially no whif only one tentackl arm.
;D
Yeah, but come on in, the butta's loverly an warm and all rummey loike, and Packy's givin us all slippry-dip rides an stuffe!
Oive found that if ennyone gets too fresh fer your loikin they usually responds favorably to a swift knee in the groin. But actually, m'wenchly friends, the buttered rum makes them a bit too lazy to try anyfing much! ;)
S'nice and warm, an' if yez falls asleep an' drowns, well, it's a nice way ter go...
We won't let anyone drown. There are so many of us in here that there's hardly room for drowning. Plus we keep drinking the bath.
Yer, but, kin sumwun pass annuva hogshead of rum and hundredweight of butter? Th' vat's gettin a bit lowe...
Oi wud get up and get it meself, but betwinxt the rum and the butter, I'm afraid I moight fall down on my generuss botttom.
Behold, the power of the trunk! Rum an' butter comin' roight up, Cap'n Blue....
:yar: Ye be gentellmin an a skollar, Pachy me ole shipmate, an no mistake.
Bring tha' generuss botttoum over here Ops, ye wenchalishus lass, there seems ter be spot wivout enny butter, Oi'l rub sum in fer ye... :mrgreen:
Arrrggh, ye be an offisser an' a gennelman an' a ...lubricator, and Oi say that only with the highest form of respect.
Oi feares that sum orribull newe form ov "Jello Ressling" be on thee 'orizon...
:piratetoadfish:
Ow about Krissmuss pudding ressling?
Jess so long as no wun pores enny burnin' brandy over th' lot...
No need- we're quite hot enough as it is.
:DArgh argh argh argh argh! :D
Yarrrgh, hit be thee ende ov thee worlde as we nose hit!
Let's 'ave a round ov cone-yaks, Capn's Deloights wiv Brasso Chasers, an yer assorted grogges, all round!
:yar:
Last orders!
More everything!!!
Oi completley agrees wif 'at Ops. She knows whut's whut, an' no mistake!
An' I completely agree wif 'at Pachy.
(Except Oi moight be mistoiken!)
'Appy Yuletoid, mateys!!!!
*dramatically throws up hands*
'Ere, you lot, kwioten down a minnit....
Oi finks Oi'm in love. She agreed wif me. *sniff* S'bootiful, 'at is. Nevvir happened ter me before, Oi feels all warm and fuzzy, loike. Crack open annuver vat...
Oi also fink my skin is drunkenned. It seems to be veering to one side an all.
Taking all that into considerrashun, Oi toiks that love an' raises you one.
Oh calm down, Oim only raising another glass is all.
Oi 'as jest 'ad a hydea!
Oi rememmers wen Swato used ter list the hifishal animules ov thee yeare -- now *there* were sum hi-jinkes! Oi finks as we should reeche a con-since-us on thee hofishal pyrate drinke ov choyce fer 2013.
Lettuce not fall back on olde faverits, but reeche deepe down hinto thee bilges ov arrrgh hindividjewel an collektiv creativitees!
T'starrrght thee cannon balls rollin, may oi 'umblee orfer thee followin' ressipea?
Thee Higgs Bosun
-Fill moste ov thee hempty spayce in a shot glass wiv non-zero strength tequila
-Pour in ennyfink else wot might be 'andy an look hinterestin'
-Toss hit back, absorbin' thee contents til yer symmetry (an yer doublet!) be weakened.
-If ye feels suddenly hunstable an quantumly hexcited, ye be drinkin properly!
Wot arrrgh thee next contestants? Don't be shy -- line 'em hup on thee barre, 'ere...
:tequila: :tequila: :tequila: :tequila: :tequila:
Awright, ye blaggards, Oi gives ye "The Blackbeard",
Pint mug
Harf a pint o' porter (or Guinness, or other dark beer)
Good dark rum.
Cola.
Beer inter mug. Cola inter mug, leavin' enuff space fer some rum. Add rum. Stir wif yer parrot's peg-leg.
Quaff.
Arrrgh! ^ that be a good 'un! :toast:
If 'uns good, letsh have anudder 'un!
Oi 'eard a good un lasht noit... summun tole me that Gert were curious about what Patch 'as up unner 'is kilt, so's wif permisshin, she put 'er hand up there an' found out. Oi dunno the truth o' the matter, but heccordin' to what I was tole:
"Oh, Patchy.... it's gruesome!" she says
'e replied "Aye lass, an' if ye touch it again it'll grue some more!"
Ah, 'tis one o' the standard answers, that. The other ones is:
"What's worn under the kilt?"
"Nuffin', it's all in workin' order"
and
"If'n ye foinds a quarter-pounder, Oi'm a MacDonald"
Oi gots one whot a friend of moin made by accident many years ago. We was havin' a poirate party (long before FSM, we just loiked poirates) and she tried to make a pitcher of Blue Hawaiians. However, she couldn't find any blue curacao, so she had to use the orange kind. The result was a hideous slime green potion that tasted fabulous. We dubbed it The Exxon Valdez, after a disastrous oil spill that had happened that year. (Okay, it was 1989. Yes, I am that old.)
THE EXXON VALDEZ
1 oz light rum
1 cherry
2 oz pineapple juice
1 oz Orange Curacao liqueur
1 oz cream of coconut
1 slice pineapple
Blend light rum, curacao, pineapple juice, and cream of coconut with one cup ice in an electric blender at high speed. Pour contents into a highball glass. Decorate with the slice of pineapple and a cherry.
Y'arrgh, it was a beautiful night. I recall being out on the front porch at about two in the morning singing an uncut version of "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" in four part harmony. Sounded like the angels. With potty mouths.
Oi feels a hankerin ter plunder some curacao!
Yarrrgh, Springe be summat sporadick this yeare, but hit be slowly approachin. Dom thee Danger Catte bin spotted in 'is purrrsonal shippe, dreamin ov thee high seas from 'is dry dock. 'E orferred t'stand a round fer enny pyrates wot 'as Spinge Feever, so plaice yer orders wiv the barrrtender...
(http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh27/pieces_o_nine/DreamShip_zpsbbec875f.gif?t=1365816040)
Wun fer Miloch the Great an Terrible, who be trying to batter down thee back brig door fer to eat grass at every chance.
Y'arrrrggghhh! That be the cutest most fearsome cat vessel that ever sailed the furious waves!
*looks around sadly*
Wot thee heck koinde ov pubbe be this! Ware arrrgh thee rock-us pyrates, thee rowdy townsfolke, thee yooseless layabowtes?
*opens a bottle of Cap'ns Deloight, very quietly*
Mayhap this will rouse 'em...
:toast:
Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!
Woz tha' th' sounde of sumwun pullin th' cork outta a bottel o' Cap'n's Deloight, or doo me eers deceeve me?
Oi'll be 'avin wun iffen ye be pourin' thankee muchly...
*peering up from under the wooden table in the corner and dabbing at any stray drool*
What? What? Oim awake, Oi was just ...er ....thinkin' and such. Thinkin' of how Oi was feeling thirsty wif all the effort, I was.
'Zere any left fer me, my foin friends, it bein' Froiday an all?
Set 'em hup an nock 'em back, pyrate sibs...
:tequila: :tequila: :tequila:
Be there enny ovver lurrrghkurrrghs in 'ere?
Maybe if we opens anuvver bottle... real quiet loik...
YAR! THA' BE A GOODE IDEER. LEMME OPUN THE BOTTEL..
:giggle:
Ya know, he's roight. If we'd troid to be sneaky, they would have all rushed in here and drunk the plice dry.
As it is, just us three drunk the plice dry. An that works for me.
WOT? Izzen there enny grog left innear? Oi cooda sworn there were a few dozen cases of Cap'n's Deloight jess a cuppel o' hours ago...
Com down, Blue ol' pal. I've just now just now sent one ov those pink elephants down the hill to fetch auvver couple cases just now.
*knock*knock*knock*
Arrrgh, 'oo be thar?
We be thee fresh-faced Pyrate Scouts from Portsmouth Publicke High School, an we're sellin' fresh batches ov Capn's Deloight an Brasso Chasers. Arrrgh ye innerested?
*recumbant pyrates scramble to their feet*
*or at least crawl towards the light in the doorway*
Oi, for one, support our esselent, execlent, FOIN youthful entrepedoors.
Ahem, I seem to be alittle low on dubloons...
...erm, how frsh izzit, me lads?
* scouts consult sales promo speech cards *
Hit be verra fresh! 'Ow menny cases yer-awl wants?
Well, lessee, hmmm...
Oi guess we wants awl ovum. The question is how much can we afford? (Please keep in moind that we are 'umble monks and any charity you can spare may be able to be writ off or something loik that.)
Us duzzint hafta hafford arrrgh barrels ov Capn's deloight, nor arrrgh Brasso chasers, neever. Us by jen-oo-wine pyrates, not pyrate scouts in training -- ahem -- so us'll jest hacksept awl thee barrels, fank yew.
Ye scouts may return t'yer pyrate scout den an starrrght cookin hup anuvver batch.
WHAT?
Them lil' blaggards made me pay for the last batch. Ah well, they'll be poirates yet, lard luvvem.
Better unbung that, it bein' Froiday an' all!
:beer:
Whot say we fire up ther Margariter machine and make Cap'n's Deloight margaritaers?
* stomps several feet of snow off before entering pubbe *
Yarrrgh! Wot duz we 'ave that be hot, loike, sints Dom thee Danger Catte an oi bin wivout heleck trissity an freezin arrrgh respective bums orf -- in thee dark -- fer thee last few dayes?
HOT TODDIES for Pieces 'n' Dom!
Hey, those look good. Maybe Oi'll ave one two. Three. Four.
Wot's a HOT Toadie? ;)
^ Hit be sum sorrrght o' politickle yarrrghn abowt bringin thee French t'boilin wivout 'em notissin, oi finks...
That's a shame, Oi'd figgered it for a special hot rum drink of the Humble Order of Toadfish. :toasty:
A HOT Toadie? Whot a winsome thought, Aggie! Oi quite loiks it.
Whot can we add to a regular hot toddy to make it more toadsome? Besides more rum, of course.
Ginger, p'raps? That's good and warming. Or maybe this?
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/00/Benedictine_01_08.jpg/261px-Benedictine_01_08.jpg)
It bears the mark of Dom thee Danger Catte on the bottle...
If it's good enough for Dom, it's good enough for me!
Ysrrrr! That Dom, e be foine pussy cat wiv disearnin taystes an no mystake. Oi doan mind iffen Oi duz 'ave a pint er too in me 'ot toddy. Sounds verry Taddy to vis poirates eers.
Oi be verra much cheer'd t'learn that oi were wrong abowt boilin' thee French fer hot toadies! That looks moighty tastee -- oi'll 'ave a tankarrrghd an Dom thee danger Catte wood loike a bowl, fank yew.
Hell, he's pouring!
:D
Tis a good noight t'be here at the Admirable Bendbone, whot wif poirate cats tending, as they tends to be generosh.
Aye, but some be sticklarrrghs fer roolz:
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2407038720/h7FEE64DF/)
(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/10/15/129001111266086358.jpg)
But is they poirate cats? (That one does seem to have an eye-patch....)
Hit be 'arrrghd ter tell, wiv some cattes.
Anuvver round, yarrrgh!
They moight a been in desgeyes digoise hincogneeter pretendin ter bee sumwun else... Goode poirate hability, doan show them the Jolly Roger till the larss minute...
Ter hee, that sounds naughty!!!!
::)
Yarrrgh! Us wants a round ov jello shottes... (http://www.supermommoments.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/PirateSnacks-collage.jpg)
...an wunna these on ev'ry table...
(http://www.geekalerts.com/u/Vampire-Wine-Bottle-Holder.jpg)
...wif wunna these as back-up...
(http://wineblog.scottshira.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/vampire3.gif)
I love that bottle holder!
I gots these on my toible:
Wot toime duz ye wants us ter drop in?
Enny toim!!!!! (But the earlier the more loiklee the bottles will have sumthin inside o' 'em.)
Hah!
Be that wine bottle or an hourglass?
The sands o' time never drain so fast.
Yarrrgh!
We've sellybrayted Thanksallatke, an now turn arrrgh soights t'Decembarrrgh, an thee hollyday ov Monkey be loomin on thee 'orizon. Oi 'as taken thee libertee ov 'angin' sum garrrghlande abowt thee place, t'mayke hit moor festive, loike.
(http://www.moretimemoms.com/images/lrg-pirate-garland.jpg)
Oi 'as also slipped a pair ov fetching parrot hornaments on thee palm tree in thee corner.
(http://www.lnt.com/photos/product/standard/6906370S147375/christmas-ornaments/set-of-4-pirate-parrot-glass-christmas-tree-ornaments.jpg)
Look aloive there, ye lubbers, an contribute sumfink t'thee festive hambients...
'Cos we need a wit-ool poirate,
roight this very minnit...
treasure box o' dubloons
pretty lookin', innit..."
^ That be luvverly, Opsa!
Ware arrrgh thee rest ov thee crewe, bringin gifts an hornaments, loike?
*looks around sadly at thee dis-stinct lacke ov 'olidaye cheare, loike*
*suggests convertin thee barre hinto one ov these (http://ameliaislandliving.com/fernandinabeach/2010/11/17-foot-gingerbread-pirate-ship-christmas-tree-lighting-fireworks-at-amelia-island-ritz-carlton/) fer thee season*
*pours out a hassortment ov festive, multi-culchuralled seasonal drinks*
:tequila:
Yar! Oi sez, barkeep! Kin Oi haz wun ov dem pink cap'n's deloights, pleeze?
Arrrgh! Be sure ter'ave some weevil biskits on thee soide!
(http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh27/pieces_o_nine/PyrateScoutSampler.jpg)
Oooooh, Oi fot Oi smelled biskits!
Oi luvs em dunked inna noice mug 'o rumme!
Egg jelly, Oi loikes ennyfink dunked inna noice mug 'o rumme!
If yew put egg jelly in rumme, don't that moik egg nogg?
Hegge-nogge -- it's not just fer breakfast ennymore.
Lette uss rayse a cup fer our deer departed Pieces o Nine.
We poirates moight be all gruffe onn th' outsiode, butte insides we is cryin'...
The very best cone yak to you my dear Pieces .
Rum all around, my broken-hearted buddies.
To our Pieces. May she rest in peace.
A toast to our dear P'o9 and to all absent friends where ever they may be!
I'll pour one on her name, Long Live Pieces Of Nine!
*raising glass in agreement*
Long live Pieces o Nine!
Oddly, I had started leaving offerings in the house a week or so before I heard the news... tiny stainless steel bowls of tobacco, coffee, betel and rum, set on a cast-iron plate (keeps the house fairies out of it). The rum's being steadily consumed; I've had a nip while pouring the tot on a few occasions. Perhaps I've already had a drink with Pieces.
To Pieces!
[youtube=425,350]9bOjc70f4p8[/youtube]
not a proper dirge, but I think she'd appreciate it
Ah! I remember that song. Yes, I think she would have appreciated it.
When this old heart heard of our Pieces- it sunk a while.
Drops bags.
Sigh.
I has returned forum crabbe fysen in the Berlin Sea.
I will be at anchor.
Do not bring crabbe which ye.
Here sez the Qwerty be a marrin 'is gurl. Foine newes.
Oi!
It's time t'ha dust off th'a nice muggs 'n brrring out th'a fine rum!
Cheers for the returrn of our beloved Goat and our Head Wench! Horrraay!
:toast:
Aaaargh! This all be moity fyne knews. Congratulshions to Qwerty n his gerl. ** wave to Anthro* me hert is glad ter cee 'er.
Qwerty's nupchewls be news to me... a toast to a dem young fool, from 'un who were such!
:drunk:
Aarrgghhh@ So yung Qwerty's gettin hitched? Splice the main-brace Oi sez, an hextra rumme ration allroun!
Oh, an Anthro, ye havent got enny spair crabbes ye culd sennde over to yer ole shipmate culd ye? Oi's rather fancyin sum chilli crabbe fer me supppa ternoight... ;)
My darling ye kin Ave awl tha crabbes ye wants!
Theys even stuffed in me bunk!
Wuduv nevir finked on wigglin in me bunk wood be ah bayd ting.
Yups r Qwerty be awl growd up.
She be a beyotiful an proper foin lass.
Luverly couple.
An oive jus ben to me galley a hind tha bri--- ol miten 'ave to burn that please. Down. Whot 'ave ye lot being up too a thar?
'Ello! 'Ello!'Ello!
Anyone 'ere? Oi has an hankerin' fer a barrel or several o' Captain's Delioght, wif the tradishinul Brasso chasers! An' the usual and inevitabul hugs an' cuddlin' wouldn't be amiss, neither loike!
'Ere! Wots all this racket loike? Oh, It's you Packy! 'Ere, ave a pint o' Cap'n's D'lite while ye decides wot ter 'ave ter drink. Cor, will ye look at all th' dust around 'ere? Ye'd think it be years since enny wun bin in 'ere!
Ah, me old mucker, Blue!
We needs ter get the Benbow back up and the rum flowin' methinks!
Thankee kindly fer the Capn's Deloight, and have a snootful of this here cheeky little number, Oi hacquired it when Oi was sailin' past Islay. just mindin' me own business, when wallop, half a dozen casks land on me vessel! Honest....
Oi, it's all well-aged now, innit?
Oh aye, Pachy, Oi fink Oi jest might 'ave sum o' that there peaty tasting nekta wot you 'appened upon.
Oi doan s'pose th' Isaly booty look ennythink loike this:
(https://www.laphroaig.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/range_lineup.png)
Oi agrees wiv ye Aggie. Have a tot while we werks owt wot ter do abowtit.
Aye, that be the stuff! Help yerself!
Oi dunno ow it 'appened, but all me bottels seem to have got empty loike. Yer wuldent 'appen to 'ave anuvva case wuld ye, Pachy me bucko?
Oi'll jest have a annuvver quick trip round the island, see whut Oi kin find. Any preferences?
Arrggghhhhh! Oi be raver parshal to the 25 year olde... thankee Pachy!
'Ere, Oi forgotted, what wif the danger o' holdin' a big pot o' Stoo, has you bin pyratin' off Newfoundland, Blue?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo1IvV6qAWY
No, but be there plenty o' good plunda thereabouts? If so, I'll be off loike a buckette o' prawns in the sun!
Quote from: Bluenose2 on February 24, 2018, 10:09:08 AM
No, but be there plenty o' good plunda thereabouts? If so, I'll be off loike a buckette o' prawns in the sun!
Tons o' black gold off the coast... the cod's gone, though.
Ah, Stan me man... Oi's sang a solo verse or two of this 'un when I were a choir boy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVY8LoM47xI
But his best 'uns issa bout pirating (well, privateering) 'gainst the Yanks (oi first learned this one from a table in a Newfie pub, not sure if th'table or oi was further into the Screech):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVY8LoM47xI
Bin lissenin' ter a load o' his stuff. Man was a dam foine songsmith. Fink Oi'll hoist a tankerd or several in his honour. Whose fer a Capn's Deloight?
Did sumwun menshu a Cap'n's Deloight? Oi'll drink to that! Yaaarrrrr!
Glug!
Eer Griff! 'Ave a taiste o' me latest batch. Ittel scrape the barnacles offen yer bottom, right quiken proppa!
.
.
.
.
.
I was talkin' 'bowt th' bottom of yer shippe, ye bawdy wench!
'Ere! Hoo's dis Bluenos2 fella wot bin himpersonomatin me goode self? Oi finks Oi betta 'ave sum o' dat dere Loffrroig Laughraig Lagroffig wisky wot 'e seems ter be so fond of!
Is there two Bluenoses? Or ' is Oi imbalanced by Capn's Delioght. Deligget. Delish... Rum. Is Oi pink?
Oi is so confussed....
Oi allways fawt ye were pink...
...at leest afta a couple o' pints o' Cap'n's D'lite, wisky, rum, gin, bourbon, tequila, eggjelly all o' the abuv!
After all o' the abuv Oi is himpressed you can see anyfing! Any idea where all the luvverly wenches an' other dread py-rate types is at? Oi quite fancy a shindig, see....
Lost at sea, I feer. Maybe them sirens got 'em.
Ah, 'tis a teerible fate, that. Fun at th' time, o' course...
Oi fink Oi 'eard sumpin about goin fer a swim wiv th' squidlings...
Again? An' after we put th' warnin' sign up an all? Mebbe we shud do one wif a drawin' on it this time? Some of 'em don't read to good, roight enuff.
Oi fink yer moight be roight, Pachy. An prehaps we culd ereck an elektric fence next ter th' sign an all...
Oi's no shewer we be abel ter ereck a fence 'cos we never found no tressure recent like.
Is havin' Fish 'Ead Stoo an' 'lecktric stuff in th' same area smart? We doesn't want ol' Swato gettin' any more ideas! 'Member the whole Kraken episode....
As long as ye doan eggjelly spill the fish 'ed stewe on the elektriks ye'll be foine. O' corse, ye doan wanna spill fish 'ed stewe on anyfink anywise...