The Admiral Benbow

[Darlica]

Hon, that's a Monastery strength brew, ye don't have t' drink that much o' t' content in t' keg before you'll provide some sort amusement...

[pieces o nine]

In that case, oi'll be alert to the appropriate OSPHA (On-Site Pirate Hazard Analysis) notices posted at the height ye expect patron's ois to be at after a a couple rounds...

[Pachyderm]

They are painted on th' underneath o' th' tables. An' on th' doorstep.

[Black Bart]

Arrrrr...I thought I'd seen em somewhere! 

Where be the Health & Safety notices then?

[Griffin NoName]

They be stuckk ter yer back Black Bart !!  Look see, look, see.....

[Pachyderm]

Dunno if they be from the Healf an' Safetee lot, but there is a notice on the door ter the Stoo couldrons saying "Keep Owt"

[pieces o nine]

Yarrrrr! Me father worked for the Ealth Department, an learned us about the foine points of Safety Hinspections where food or food-loike products be himposed upon the undiscernin publick.

Oid' loike to know ow many rat hairs per 100 gram sample, and/or ow many hinsect parts per 10 gram sample av been found in Black Bart's Fish Head Stew.

Thankee
pieces o nine

[Bluenose]

Yarr!  Undecernin publicke, yeah that be us orright!

There be no rat 'airs nor hinseckt parts in Bart's Fishe Head Stewe on account o' how they wuld have all bin dissolved by now.

<looks around, spots keg of mead>

Arrgh! Sum new grog in th' ole Benbow!

<walks over, drains keg in one mighty gulp>  <burps>  <pharts>

Yarr... That be one mighty foine drop o' cordial there.  Be there ennyfing ...  urk!  Wotz 'appenin?  Why is yoose all gotte two 'eads?  Ow come me knees be turned ter jelly?  Wotz this big hard flat fing wot jumped up an banged me on me nutte?  Where am I?  Who am I?   Where did all them pretty pink hephalents come from?  gurgle......

[Black Bart]

Yarrrrr! Me father worked for the Ealth Department, an learned us about the foine points of Safety Hinspections where food or food-loike products be himposed upon the undiscernin publick.

Oid' loike to know ow many rat hairs per 100 gram sample, and/or ow many hinsect parts per 10 gram sample av been found in Black Bart's Fish Head Stew.

Thankee
pieces o nine

Arrrrrrr...I has a very high level o 'Quality Control' in me Fish Head Stew factory.  I has a man perched high up in a Crows nest above the main Cauldron.  He be armed wiv a musket an he shoots any rats what appen ta bubble to the surface.

[pieces o nine]

Arrrrrrr...I has a very high level o 'Quality Control' in me Fish Head Stew factory.  I has a man perched high up in a Crows nest above the main Cauldron.  He be armed wiv a musket an he shoots any rats what appen ta bubble to the surface.

Oi notice how ye've omitted any mention o'hinsect parrrts. Nonetheless, me moind is eased summat regarrrdin yer high quality control standarrrds per rat hairs. Oi be of half a moind to wifdraw me complaint regarrrdin the pot pies wot ave been forced hupon me cabin boys at Portsmouth Pirate Public School.

Me main concern wif the hinsect parrrts be for newtrition. Oi knows me cabin boys be getting their protein wif the weevil biscuits oi sent wif'em. When oi learned their weevil biscuits bin confiscated by the staff and replaced wif the BBFH Pot Pies... oi became concerned, loike.

Iffen ye can just clear up the question regarrrdin hinsect parrrts, oi'll be much obilged.

yours sincerely,
pieces o nine

[Pachyderm]

Hoy, Oi h'aint pink! Jist a noice shade o' grey, sceptin' where oi gots bruises from fahlling ovar afta a rum or ten.

What did ye put in that there mead, Darl,, whut makes a fellah see pink?

An', Bart, oi've got yer sack o' ship-killin' Teredo worms and nasty bitey beetles. Oi'll put 'em in this here convienient emptee barrel....

[Black Bart]

Iffen ye can just clear up the question regarrrdin hinsect parrrts, oi'll be much obilged.

yours sincerely,
pieces o nine

Arrrrrrgh...hinsect parrrts?

I thinks the Bilge Rats eat em up afore me Quality control shoots em.

[Darlica]

Hoy, Oi h'aint pink! Jist a noice shade o' grey, sceptin' where oi gots bruises from fahlling ovar afta a rum or ten.

What did ye put in that there mead, Darl,, whut makes a fellah see pink?

Oi diddn't do anyting! T's a Monasteery brew, an' he drank from t' keg! Oi tryed t' warn 'im but he diddn't listened!

An' t' pink ting, Oi don't tink he ment ye. Ther's a large chunk o' Capt'n DaveL's pink frilly dress caught under t' table...

[Bluenose]

...Urtle?  Gumnep, snozzle whaddo gitchum!  <Snork>  <Burble> 


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Black Bart]

...Urtle?  Gumnep, snozzle whaddo gitchum!  <Snork>  <Burble> 


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Arrrgh...ye've been talkin to E Razer again!