The Continuous Briny Fable

[DaveL]

...sausage bundle he was carrying...

[Black Bart]

...at the request of Pirgella who was planning a suprise Dinner for the return of Capn H. Big Ron groaned clutching his...

[The Black Spot]

...lottery ticket. "Has anybody checked me numbers?" asked Big Ron.

Pirgella's maid looked through a newspaper.

"Good heavens," she said. "You've...

[Griffin NoName]

.... bin snapped outside Madam Fifi's wiv only yer......

[Black Bart]

..chipolata covering your...

[Calico Jack]

..chipolata covering your...

...onions and mash.  "I'll be ruined" wailed Ron, "I be known for me foine bangers and these little greasy things are not mine.  Its a fit up I say" and Ron stormed off looking for the perpetrator of the photograph.

Just then there was a loud bang and Dave L and Big Brenda came crashing through the window of Fifi's.  Dave L was in agony as Brenda had a hold of his...

[Griffin NoName]

... ear and was tweaking it maniacally. The local Bobby - a new young recruit, named Defenderson - happened to be passin by, on an Increase Your Local Police Presence Initiative at that moment. "Allo, allo, allo, what have we ear?" he said. Just at the same moment DaveL landed a punch right in Big Brenda's........

[The Black Spot]

...half eaten pastie.

Constable Defenderson was covered in a shower of mincemeat, potatoes and cubes of swede as the pastie exploded under DaveL's fist.

"You beast," said Brenda. "I'm going to ram this crust..."

[Black Bart]

...straight up yer...

[DaveL]

...nostril. 'Argghh Brenda, there be nuthin better than a round of fisticuffs wif yer goodself.'said DaveL, picking pastie out of his nose.

All that exctitment made them want to...

[Calico Jack]

...get out the Domino set and have a marathon session with Brenda.  No matter how hard he tried Dave L always lost at Dominoes to Brenda as she always seemed to get the Doubles and the Blanks.

However Dave L had a cunning plan to help him win, he plans to distract Brenda by grabbing hold of her...

[Black Bart]

...hair extensions what she's just had done at Portsmouth's finest hair salon: Capn Sweeny's.  The trouble with playin dominoes with Brenda though was, half the pieces got lost up her...

[Aphos]

...blouse sleeve.  Somehow, DaveL never heard 'em rattlin' around there.  And since DaveL tweren't too good at countin', he never noticed the shortage of dominoes on the table.

Anyway, while Brenda was playin' the first domino, DaveL was scratchin' his...

[Griffin NoName]

.... left shoulder as his parrot had come unstuck the day before leaving him somewhat itchy. Constable Defenderson noticed and, that week being the Clean Up your Neighbourhood Discarded Needles Week, took a good look at DaveL's shoulder for suspicious needle marks. To his horror he found......

[Black Bart]

...the number '546 Dartmoor' tatooed on Dave L's skin...does this mean that Dave L is an escaped convict from Dartmoor prison, was Dave L trying to remember a phone number or had Dave L once been a dartmoor pony! There was an easy way to find out if Dave L had any horse blood in him...constable Defenderson chuckled to himself, 'horses have got really huge...