The market direction is...

[Pachyderm]

Of course they are, they are evil, lying, degenerate, political ass-kissers who will prostitute whatever ideals they had for a few bucks. They will come out of this with the fragrance of roses surrounding them, and a pile more money on their own accounts. Enron would have appeared to have been the exception, but that is because the Government types were pissed that they had been led a merry dance, and Skilling et al were raking it in, but not backhanding sufficiently.

To be a successful businessman, decency has to be surgically removed at the beginning of the career, and to be a successful financier, selling one's soul is not just recommended, but essential.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Indeed. Saw something this afternoon that said that lobbyists are swarming DC and that firms are looking to get the government to take far more than just what was originally suggested--any failing assets at all.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Its Xmas! They get to screw the economy and to screw us for the next umpteenth years in deficits. The sad part is that the only viable punishment for them would be a total meltdown of the world economy and even then I imagine they'll figure a way to live comfortably while the rest of us lose everything.

I've always thought that bankers are at the bottom of the list as the more destructive and evil force there is. Beautiful way to prove me right.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Ideally, we could strip them of nearly every penny and dump them somewhere in the boonies (I like the idea of the Ozarks or Amarillo). And I'm fairly sure whoever we're mooching to money from, presumably Chinese bankers (as I've been told), will own the next several generations of US citizens.

I suspect we'll be getting a lot more humble as a nation in the next few years. Hopefully* less belligerent, too.

^{*Hopefully being the key word.}

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

They didn't have much of a chance, it was that or let the global economy fall like a card castle. What bothers me is that there hasn't been the slightest hint of punishment to those crazy greedy bankers from the FED, congress or the candidates.

Bailing out the banks was a necessity but why not charge the idiots with something and lock them in a cell with no AC for the next 20 years? Ahh! yes, because they are the biggest donors to the campaigns of senators and presidents alike.

They're apparently looking to profit out of this, too. 

Personally, I think they need to strip ALL the assets of the pukes responsible-- down to their last vacation home and yacht.

Toss'em out on their behinds, onto the streets.  Spread the word WHY they are now unemployed.

It'd be justice if these greedy bastards had to actually WORK for once...like, say at a Quick-Trip/7-Eleven/Quickey-Mart or McDonalds.....

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Or the HELL of Wal-mart.

[Pachyderm]

No, don't let them redeem themselves through work. Dump the lot of them on a deserted island, and film the carnage as they struggle to feed themselves. Once they have some sort of infrastructure up, remove it, telling them that "charges" and "admin" have deemed it necessary. Then section off a chunk of the island with big electric fences, and armed guards, and let the beautiful people disport themselves in redolent luxury there. And every so often, pick one of them at random, and have the guards kick him in the balls.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

No, don't let them redeem themselves through work. Dump the lot of them on a deserted island, and film the carnage as they struggle to feed themselves. Once they have some sort of infrastructure up, remove it, telling them that "charges" and "admin" have deemed it necessary. Then section off a chunk of the island with big electric fences, and armed guards, and let the beautiful people disport themselves in redolent luxury there. And every so often, pick one of them at random, and have the guards kick him in the balls.

I like the idea of dropping them in a Battle Royale situation.

[pieces o nine]

The most cruel punishments I can add to the ghoulish delights being dished up here:

1. There is only one way for them to pay for food and water in their "re-education" home, no matter how small the morsel or how unfiltered the drop. They must speak one sentence of absolute truth aloud about their own actions, on the record.

Any recanting, spinning, explaining, blame-storming, rephrasing, putting-into-context, plausible denying, invoking of executive privilege, vague hinting about compromising national security, etc., will be met with Compassionate Indifference™  (indistinguishable, for all practical purposes, from Compassionate Conservatism).

The more truth they cough up, the more food and water they get to wolf down. The more relevant and meaningful the truth, the more nutrition and filtering will be added to their rations. Rations, by the way, whose inspections and quality controls will adhere strictly to the deregulations and loopholes they themselves established for the benefit of the *rest* of us.


2. If they require any medical attention, they must fill out a 12-page application in triplicate not less than thirty (30) days prior to the expected situation, and file it with the appropriate agencies on their lunch breaks from their jobs at Walmart or Hell's Kitchen Restaurant. Failure to acquire prior permission will be punished by sending the offender to the end of the line in the clinic waiting room.If s/he loses pay or even a job because of injury, illness or waiting in line, additional benefits will be denied for failure to conform to clearly posted regulations. Appointments are strongly encouraged for medical assistance, and missing one will be punished by a fine equal to the care which would have been received. However, patients may not complain about appointments which run very late or are missed entirely by an over-taxed or even negligent staff member.

Payment in full must be made at time of requested care. Prices are subject to change without notice, due to fluctuations in the self-regulating market. Those who do not have adequate cash on their persons will be encouraged to request assistance from their friends and relatives also living in the center.

Any pre-existing conditions will be their own problem; the medical staff has limited time and limited resources which cannot be wasted on those whose future is uncertain.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

All too complicated.

Step one: remove all assets on their name and other fronts they may have.
Step two: fine them for the losses incurred under their watch and make sure their names show up in  all credit agencies.
Step three: drop them in a different state in the middle of nowhere.
Step four: make well known that they are broke, that they owe money and that every asset they use will be appropriated to pay their debt.
Step five: let the system take care of them.

[Pachyderm]

The problem with Zono's idea is that these are the type of bastards who came up with the system. They are very good at manipulating systems. So, put them in a situation where there is no system, leaving them nothing to manipulate. And, randomly, kick one of them in the balls.

[Griffin NoName]

Extending Pachy's methods, the situation where there is no system should include a simulated fake system which is entirely unfathomnable to assist them sending themselves mad trying to crack it. Of course, all this would be syndicated on prime time TV. In fact it would be the The Finance House on it's own TV station 24/24. Voters could phone in their votes for Whose Balls to Kick Next. ?do female bankers have balls?

[pieces o nine]

Oh! Oh! Oh!

: waves hand in air excitedly :

Since they *all* have money squirrelled away in off-shore accounts which would not be found by stripping their acknowledged US assets, let's put a "twist" on the Finance House ball kicking.

All members of Finance House get kicked in the balls,* once a day.
...EXCEPT...
for the Challenge/Immunity winner, who is the first person to release one *MILLION* dollars from one of his 'hidden' accounts. Then they attach a [non-functioning] frikkin laser beam to his head and he has 24 hours of immunity.



*: still working on a female equivalent :

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

: still working on a female equivalent :

I always heard that breasts are sensitive enough, would a couple of punches there work?

[Pachyderm]

To be a successful female in that world you need to have bigger balls than the men. And sharper teeth.

The problem with regular, structured ball-kicking is that is regular. I like the immunity idea, but keep the nad-bashing totally random, for the fear factor. And the first one to divest themselves of all assets, can have their love-spuds surgically removed, so that kicking wouldn't hurt so much.