Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[pieces o nine]

One says! Perhaps one or another of us could hire this "Nef Yoo" creature to fetch a round of refreshing beverages and cucumber sandwiches, in exchange for a shiny pebble or two.

He certainly does not appear to be engaged in any other useful occupation...



* discreetly takes discreet, ladylike pinch of snuff *

[DaveL]

I love a good trimmed hedge row. I must ensure that I get my eastern section reshaped as a set of zoo animals. 

No where's that Pimms?

*Wanders over to Lady Pieces, drops to the table, cuts a line of snuff, snorts it with a dollar bill*

[Bluenose]

*wonders in from the other side of the tennis courts*

I say old chaps, how have you all been?  It's awwwfully long since I've seen you all together like this.  Does anyone fancy a game of tennis, what?

[Opsa]

Oh Goody! Just give me a min to change into my tennis costume. It's awfully expensive!

[Bluenose]

Righto, I'll get some of the staff to rig the court.

*Spies one of the gardeners assistants planting a floral border around the fountain*

I say boy!  Yes, you over there.  Do be a good chap and run over to the grounds managers workshop and tell him we want the tennis courts prepared for little tournament.

*Turns to Sir DaveL*

I say old bean, your man there seemed a tad slow to get moving.  I know its dreadfully difficult to get good staff these days what with all this bally "egalitarian" tommy rot, but there are limits. I mean he barely stood up when I spoke to him, and nary a sign of standing to attention!  What's the world comming to?  I say, you don't think I could have one of those Pimms, do you?

[Opsa]

*flouncing back*

Gracious heavens, Blue- was that you talking to that statue just now?

[Bluenose]

Err, yes, trying to get the tennis court rigged for our little match you see.  I had to actually ask one of the gardeners to summons the grounds manager.  I mean, fancy that, eh?  Bally fellow didn't even stand at attention.

I say, Lady Tau, that's a frightfully fine tennis costume you're wearing there!  I don't think I've seen quite so many frills, buttons and ribbons before.  My word, those aren't diamonds encrusteed over the bodice as well are they?  Jolly fine show!

[The Meromorph]

** starts quivering again **

Bodice!  Encrusted!  Oh! Think of the Kittens!

** strapping young grooms appear again "Oi thinks he needed another day or two in the Monet Pool..." **

[Opsa]

Oh stawp it- you make me blush, you naughty, bad boy! 

*pouting* Nobody noticed my sickeningly pricey racket. I practically had to sell one of our summer homes to afford it. Belonged to Venus Williams, don't you know.

I say- fancy tennie-runners you got there, Lord Meromorph.

[DaveL]

Oh I say, do stop all that naughtiness at once. The servants are serving Robinsons Barley Water after the 12th game. 

I do hope you are suitably parched, as I urge you to stay hydrated in this simply beastly weather.

[The Meromorph]

Y-e-e-e-s, One of my chaps told me I ought to try diamonds on the soles of my shoes for a change.
I thought it a dashed good idea, doncherknow!

The chappie did give me a funny look whan I showed him, I do wonder why...


Are we playing doubles? Mixed, I hope! Lady Opsa?

[Bluenose]

Well, that's settled then.  Lady Opsa and Lord Mero you make a damned fine looking team team I must say.  Now who should I play with?

*Looks around, spies a remarkably unattractive woman, standing where Sir DaveL had been a few moments before, dressed in a pink tennis frock*

*Looks further afield, discovers that there are no other more agreeable prospects anywhere in sight*

-sigh-

Erm,  Err, Ah,  mylady... perchance you might do me the honour of partnering me in this little tennis match?

[Opsa]

Now, now... I wouldn't call her unattractive... she might smite you! I mean- look at her biceps! They're remarkably sinewy. I'll bet you she can whack some smashing lobs.

(Should I tell her pink isn't quite her colour?)

_{(Probably not. She seems to have quite a lot of teeth and is not afraid to use them.)}

[Pachyderm]

"What ho!

Is that fellow growing the Pimms?

Honestly."

*Monocle pops from eye*

"Ai sai!"

*nudges Carruthers (a damn fine name for polo)*

"Some damn fine fillies here, what? And Ai do believe Lady Opsa has got her hands on a genuine Williams. Good show!"

"Need an umpire?"

[Opsa]

Oh yes, Pachy, please! It would be ever so much fun to see you seated on the high throne pointing all this way and askance.