Toadfish Monastery

http://www.genuki.org.uk/big/wal/PEM/StElvis/

I have just found out that St Elvis was real and has a parish named after him,
as witness this photo:

The charity's AGM is coming up and, as usual, I got the job of producing the cover of the Annual Report.  It's special this time, as it's our 20th anniversary, and I was given precise instructions as to what to do, leaving me discretion only in what picture to put in the O.

Here's the final version:


Originally I chose this:

taken from a shot I did some time ago of a participant (bottom) and a young volunteer.

This was accepted as fine until someone started moaning that the volunteer looks a bit unhappy.  I told them we'd never find anything as suitable in the archive, so I stomped off and grabbed another participant and a professional worker, and got them to pose for this:

Now I still believe the girl in the original one looks really lovely and the second one is nowhere near as good.

Too late, it's at the printer's now, but what do you folks think?

We're due to fly to Cyprus on Sunday, and now we learn that all UK airports are closed due to a cloud of volcanic ash blowing down from Iceland.  They may re-open tomorrow  

No, I know it's not April 1st.

So there seems to be a fair chance that we won't fly, or that there will be disruption as they clear backlogs.  Fingers crossed for Mr & Mrs H, please, everybody.

No kidding!  The august professor proceeds in his usual unobtrusive, subtle and low-key style....

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7094310.ece

Then, I suppose, he plans to hurl pork chops at the temple in Jerusalem.

Tomorrow, 3rd April at 4:30 pm the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race will take place on the Thames near London.  It is I think the 175th such race since they began in 1829.
A good overview is to be had  here.

I would like to give my non-British siblings an non-partisan, unbiased account of what is unquestionably the most significant sporting event of the year.  Some would claim it is the only  sporting event of the year, but I shall not be so narrow-minded; after all there is also the Oxford-Cambridge cricket match.

Briefly, there are just two crews to choose from:
1) Oxford, England's first and greatest University.
2) A joke entry from some lunatics in Cambridge who claim to represent some kind of technical college there.

My siblings will decide which to put their shirts on.

   DOMINVS ILLVMINATIO MEA

In yesterday's Budget the Chancellor increased the tax on cider by 10%. This hurts the H family personally, of course, but it's nastier than that.
Here in Herefordshire and also in Somerset, cider-making is a big industry and this will most likely cost jobs.
Now, what a surprise! - these two counties elect Conservative and Lib-Dem MPs.  In neither area does Labour ever get a look-in.  Well, well....
BTW the Wurzels are angry, too!

Does this look like Jesus?
IMO well maybe a little bit, but not for the stated reasons!
_{Non UK siblings may not be aware of the true horrors of the foul substance Marmite.}

The other week I had to sort an old computer out and got dramatic results.  Some siblings may be interested.
The wife's desktop is an old P4 thing with 256 MB RAM and 40 GB HDD, running XP.  It had got so ludicrously slow as to be  unusable: over 5 minutes to boot or shut down, tens of seconds to open, say, Word.
I don't have an XP disc or a backup image, so I had to fix what was there.
It had been running AVG and Spybot and had Zone Alarm as firewall.  I ran AVG and Spybot again, also Malwarebytes. Nothing.  I ran CC Cleaner and Wise Registry Cleaner, then Registry Defrag. I defragged the hard drive and did a check on it.  I had already cut down the startup items ruthlessly and disabled some un-needed services.
Little or no improvement.
Since we have 2 other computers on the net, she agreed I could try taking hers off  - she rarely used it on that machine anyway.  So I disabled the wireless LAN and unchecked AVG, Spybot and Zone Alarm from startup.
I had hoped for some improvement, but the results were totally dramatic.  It now boots up and shuts down as fast as I've ever seen XP do, and opens Office apps in a couple of seconds.  Just like new.
I'd guess one of the security apps was corrupted, or just possibly it had some undetected malware which now can't function.  I realise that a complete re-install of all that stuff might get it going better, but that machine really doesn't need to be on the net.  Now I've uninstalled all the security stuff and recleaned the registry.  Still excellent.
Any thoughts, folks?

On Thursday I visited the RDF to look at a thread I had posted in, only to find the place in chaos.  The admin had stated that in 30 days the old forum would be closed and a new place started where open discussion would be impossible.  The site was buzzing with indignant opposition to this, so they closed it, deleted many accounts, disabled PMs and signatures to stop people planning for a move to a new site and finally re-opened it as read-only.  I still can't post.  But some members had already posted that they'd move to the Secular Café or The Heathen Hub.  I joined both of these and they were buzzing with it.
Yesterday there were even major stories in the newspapers.
This blog looks as if it might have something like the true story.

[Originally posted under 'Serious Discussion', but on second thoughts it's probably more appropriate here.]   

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/ufo/7254646/UFO-was-spotted-above-Michael-Howards-home.html

Recently our Ministry of Defence has released a batch of files on UFO sightings, many quite entertaining.
The media have jumped on the story because a UFO was supposedly seen above the house of Michael Howard, a prominent Conservative politician.  Howard, who was once Home Secretary and later leader of his party, has always been portrayed as a bit creepy and the dreadful Ann Widdecombe said that he had "something of the night about him".  (And his father was Romanian!)
This makes me wonder just how many of our politicians have been abducted by aliens or are under alien control.  Some may actually be aliens ...   

Recently on BBC Radio 4 they have been playing trails for a program on the Plantagenets.  In one trail a voice says - quietly, softly, but with infinite menace, "There has to be blood!"
Mrs H and I have made it into a family joke and go around doing the clawed hands and the manic eyes whispering There has to be blood.   Now it's spread to There has to be coffee  or There has to be yoghurt.  And it's spreading among our friends.
What can we do to stop this ghastly meme taking over the whole of Herefordshire - nay, the world?
Any suggestions?  Please?   

The present fiscal problems of Greece are drawing a lot of media attention to a group of Eurozone countries: Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Spain (the 'PIIGS').  All are up to their necks in debt and are finding it hard to cut back state spending.  As a result their credit status is poor and they are having to pay very high rates to borrow more.  Because they are tied into the Euro they have little room for manoeuvre; in particular they can't devalue.  The richer countries have declined to give specific pledges of support and their vague promises have not reassured the markets.
Many pundits are now predicting that Greece will be forced to leave the Euro and go back to the Drachma.  There could then be a domino effect with the other PIIGS.
My question - and it is only a question -  is this:
The PIIGS are precisely those EU countries which are the most dominated by authoritarian religion - 'priest-ridden' - or have been until very recently.  Is this a coincidence?
Of course I'm not thinking of any direct connection, a Dan-Brown-style plot.  I'm wondering more about attitudes to authority and to personal responsibility, stuff like that. 

Another outbreak of loving Christian quarreling - but not over gays (for now); this is about women bishops again. 
This Times story seems reasonably impartial.
Now to my mind, no reasonable person could object to women priests and bishops, but the Bible seems to be quite clear in forbidding them:

Quote from: 1 Timothy 2:8 - 12
I desire then that in every place (i.e. wherever there is a group of believers) the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarrelling.
Women should adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire but by good deeds, as befits women who profess religion. Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent.

A quick Google search will also find many doctrinal objections  which the diehards use to fight with.

The wife and I went to a Rotarian dinner last night, as mentioned elsewhere, to talk about our charity.  I set up my laptop and the charity's projector, which worked first time, as always.
Then the image switched to just half a picture.  I hadn't touched anything, it just happened.  When I tried to play with it, no picture at all.  In the end the wife had to give an impromptu talk without pictures.
I have personally done at least 10 talks with that setup, and never a hint of trouble.  It was Vista, not the projector, which appeared to be projecting everything the computer passed to it.

I HATE MICROS***!   

American church group arrested on Haitian border accused of abducting children
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article7009970.ece
Note this bit:

QuoteIt was claimed last night that most of the children had living relatives and did not appear to know where they were going.
A government official described the group's action as an "abduction".

But GOD told them what was right.  How could anybody obstruct His holy work?  Blasphemy! 

Once again the good professor tells them what's what:   
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article7007065.ece
Personally I agree with the argument, but he could be a bit more subtle.  For example, he could assault the Archbish of C with a baseball bat or dump a trailer-load of pig manure on the steps of Westminster Abbey.   

When I lived in Germany, people were always coming up with deliberate mis-translations of German idioms into English, just for a laugh.
Example: "Take you yes in eight!" (nimm dich ja in Acht, actually meaning "be careful").
Other examples were "That makes me overhead nothing out", "I am heavy on wire today" and "you can me".
There must be lots more to find in all sorts of other languages.  Any offers?

Respectful greetings to one and all.  I am a dedicated Pastafarian and used to be active on the Venganza forum.  I shall aim to make a worthwhile contribution here.
I warn you all now that I am a linguistic history nerd.  If you have any questions about such matters DON'T ASK ME or you'll be reading for days.