The Emotional Vampire

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Mmm, probably better than me yelling at him, for sure, despite how satisfying that would be.

Current plan:
Treat him normally until he says something stupid.
Tell him to quit whining if he's not going to go see someone about it.
Ignore him when he whines from then on.
When he's not whining or acting mopey, treat him normally again

Also, I will talk to the others who are dealing with him. I seem to have a bit of pull (he runs to me when he needs advice), but I won't count much if I'm the only one ignoring him.

[Aggie]

Current plan:
Treat him normally until he says something stupid.
Tell him to quit whining if he's not going to go see someone about it.
Ignore him when he whines from then on.
When he's not whining or acting mopey, treat him normally again

LOL, just like training a puppy.  Maybe start offering him candy when he's being exceptionally good.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Seriously.

[Kaliayev]

Hurrah for Operant Conditioning

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning

Good point about getting your friends in on the act as well.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Mmm, probably better than me yelling at him, for sure, despite how satisfying that would be.

Current plan:
Treat him normally until he says something stupid.
Tell him to quit whining if he's not going to go see someone about it.
Ignore him when he whines from then on.
When he's not whining or acting mopey, treat him normally again

Also, I will talk to the others who are dealing with him. I seem to have a bit of pull (he runs to me when he needs advice), but I won't count much if I'm the only one ignoring him.

I don't know how far you want to take it, but you *could* obtain some sugar pills-- say TicTac candy or something similar, and keep them in a bottle labeled "aspirin" or other drug.

Then, when push came to shove, you can say, "You want to kill yourself?  Here....take 10 of these, then..."

If he does, he won't be harmed, and you'll have definitive proof he's truly sick-- and a call to 911 would not be out of the question.

If he quickly backs down?  That may be the end of it.

I dunno-- it's a big risk, what with modern litigious bottom-feeders these days...

Ignoring the idiot may be your most powerful tool.

---------

I just had another thought:  collect a thick bundle of McDonald's coupons.   Then, the next time he mentions suicide, hand him the bundle without a word.  He will look, and likely say something like, "so?"

Your scathing reply, "Use those to kill yourself.  It may take a while, though..... "

He may finally realize that you realize that he's just playing games...

[anthrobabe]

Operant conditioning ROCKS! it works for most primates- boys included. I like Aggies idea of candy  when the behavior is proper.
I think you have a good idea going with the current plan.

[Griffin NoName]

I need Operant Conditioning to get through each day

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Ignoring him or the Mickey D's coupons. I'll have to find a wad of them. Thanks for the link, KV.

[Pachyderm]

LOL, just like training a puppy.  Maybe start offering him candy when he's being exceptionally good. Mr Green


And rub his nose in it when he makes a mess in the house...


Like the idea with the MacD's vouchers. Makes the point, but in a humourous way.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Use a spray bottle in his face or hit him with a rolled newspaper every time he says something stupid. In fact I'm sure that will work by either make him aware or drive him away.

[Opsa]

Rub his face in the McDonald's coupons.

Seriously though, if he doen't listen you may have to just let him go. Consciously or not, he's been messing with you and nobody needs that.

Really, he got a girl pregnant and he didn't marry her and she left him? Boy, is he ever feeling sorry for himself! Unless he's taking care of the baby I don't see where he deserves pity. I know that's cold, but let's get real.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

They were engaged; she left him because he's jobless and wasn't in school or anything else. He doesn't feel he can pay child support but is planning to buy a laptop. He runs away from the baby momma like a coward.

Other than being (excuse the term) chickenshit, he's been slightly more tolerable in the last two days. None of the empty threats, etc. I've been mostly ignoring him, however.
I'm just hoping he doesn't come to the next group gathering because he pisses me off even worse off campus.

[Opsa]

Maybe you're unwillingness to play will get through to him, somehow. I'm glad you're looking after your sanity. 

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

I'm actually completely done with him. No more dealing with him whenever and wherever possible. I'm avoiding him at this point. He's awkward to deal with--he's been better, like I said, but he's lost every social grace he knew and I'm done. It's bad--like inappropriate comments and I really don't care to deal with that. I've already made it clear that it makes me uncomfortable but he's either ignoring the message or is too thick to get the "No. And shut the hell up, that pisses me off."

Therefore, screw him. Disengage, avoid, ignore, or snub, if there's no other option. I'd like to tell him what I think of him, but that's drama and I don't want that, the group doesn't need that. If it becomes more of an issue, I'll deal with it then.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I'm actually completely done with him. No more dealing with him whenever and wherever possible. I'm avoiding him at this point. He's awkward to deal with--he's been better, like I said, but he's lost every social grace he knew and I'm done. It's bad--like inappropriate comments and I really don't care to deal with that. I've already made it clear that it makes me uncomfortable but he's either ignoring the message or is too thick to get the "No. And shut the hell up, that pisses me off."

Therefore, screw him. Disengage, avoid, ignore, or snub, if there's no other option. I'd like to tell him what I think of him, but that's drama and I don't want that, the group doesn't need that. If it becomes more of an issue, I'll deal with it then.

Ignoring *is* the most powerful tool an adult has towards a child or child-like behavior.

Good for you!