Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[pieces o nine]

I say! Those young harridans seem to have misplaced their Corsets, their Corset-Covers, their Blouses, and their Outting Jackets (although they seem to be rather 'out' already).

[beagle]

Well, I never! Perchance would you change your mind if we did this:
?

Well...., since you asked so nicely. Not often you see three bouncing with such synchronicity. Not since Eccentrica Gallumbits retired, in fact. Puts me in mind of the introduction to an old colonial theatrical entertainment, which I believe was called "Baywatch".

[Opsa]

Indeed. I find it raw-theh charming how they manage to not be in complete unison. The tummy-bounce is quite engaging as well. I would say that these three come from good, healthy, child-bearing stock and should round out our otherwise water-veined and thin-lipped family line in a very jolly way. I mean, I hate to mention it, but young Reginald is ...erm, how should I put it? Rather a delicate lad, wouldn't you agree?

[The Meromorph]

One rather hopes that these jolly three might even convert Reginald from his 'confirmed bachelor' state. 

[Opsa]

Hmmm, you're right, Ducky. It may not be possible in Reggie's case. But at least if these three prompt no effect in him, we can begin a search for some  husky male stock to tempt poor frail Beatrice. I daresay though, she'll need a bit of padding in order to tempt him back. I'll have to show her the proper applications of bustles and gay decievers. (And no, by that I do not mean Reginald!) (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

[Black Bart]

Sorry...wot wuz all that...I seem to have lost me concentrashun mateys...

budoing, budoing, budoing...

[Opsa]

Oh Bartie do put away that pogo stick!

...erm, that wasn't a pogo stick?    Oh dear. Well, put it away, put it away all the same. It'll never all fit in the carriage. Ahem. By the way, what do you think of dear little Beatrice? She's really quite clever at tatting. Just think of all the lovely pillowcases she could decorate!

[beagle]

Charming bright-eyed girl, Beatrice. And one of the few women I've met who really enjoys snuff. A curious white brand she inhales from a charmingly ornate little silver spoon.  One has asked one's tobacconist to procure some, but he claims to have never heard of a brand called "Grade A Colombian, dude".

Think you're being a bit premature about Reggie. He's very sporty. At the annual village Toffs versus Yobbos cricket match I was assured by the village people that he was so keen on it he actually played for both teams, as befits an old Harrovian. His brother Ronnie is a little strange though. Only chap I know who shoots clay pigeons with a sawn-off shotgun.

[Black Bart]

I say I really must apologise, I quite forgot my manners then...it reminded me of the time I was at Balmoral and Her Majesty had a state visit from King Shaka of the Zulus.  There were so many naked  gals I almost dropped my port!

(Edited by Ops, sorry Bartie old chap, but we gots ta be socially aware.)

[Opsa]

... and I'm sure they were all tremendously healthy at that. We must have them back again. And this time, Bartie- just wear your Port-bottle hat with the darling little tubes that deliver the beverage directly to your dainty cupid's bow lips! There's a good fellow.

_{Hopefully that'll keep yuh quiet and passed-out enough to remain diplomatic!}

Now, about Ronnie- I hadn't noticed his peculiarities until you pointed them out just now, Master Beagle. But then again, I usually hide behind my huje hat when he comes around. Christian Dior rahlly is a genius of convenience.

[beagle]

Now, about Ronnie- I hadn't noticed his peculiarities until you pointed them out just now, Master Beagle.

[off-landlubber-topic]
I used to work for a company that had access to two Cray computers. The U.S. folks could never understand why we called them Ronnie and Reggie.
[on-landlubber-topic]

[Black Bart]

A couple of darling fellers from the East End...there is no way you'd catch one of those fine characters saying anything politically incorrect.

That Jack the Hat McVitie really has got alot to answer for.

Spot of larceny anyone?

[Griffin NoName]

Met Ronnie on a train once. Odd chap. Kept fiddling with his monacle and looking over his shoulder. Nervous tics can be the devil. Recommended my physician and got a very rude reply. Won't offend the gals by repeating it.

[Black Bart]

Fiddling with a what?

[The Meromorph]

Monacle, old chap. It's like a binnacle, but it only has one side...

Were you thinkiing monocle? Couldn't fit one in his squinty little eye!