Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[Opsa]

By golly!  What a handy thing... Ai would certainly like to have a pocket like that!  It would match my pocket with this large bottle of brandy in it I seem to have picked up somewhere...

Has anyone seen my large heirloom leaded crystal brandy decanter? I went back to fetch it, but it was nowhere to be seen. Oh dear, I suspect the help have been helping themselves, again. I do hope they clean it out and put it back this time like I asked them to, instead of just tossing it out into traffic like they did the last time. They simply have no respect for quality.

[Bluenose]

How simply annoying, Lady Opsa.  Here, let me pour you a brandy from this exquisite decanter in my pocket into one of Lord Pachy's snifters while we send out a search party for your fine crystal!

[pieces o nine]

How simply clever you gentlemen are, to carry such useful "pockets" about on your own persons, rather than relying upon the help to do so!

[Opsa]

Indeed. Awfully clever.

Might I say I admire your taste in decanters Lord Blue. I note we seem to be perfectly matched in aesthetic sensibilities in vessels for potables. Why, it's almost as if we were twins.

And look! It even has a little gold necklace with what appears to be my coat of arms on it. Now, however did you manage that?

[Bluenose]

Oh by golly, you're right Lady Opsa!  I must confess that I had not looked too hard at the crest, just assumed it was the old shield with crossed trout recumbent.  I had asked the craftsman to make a decanter "just like Lady Opsa's" (you do, after all, have remarkably good taste.)  Perhaps I should have specified the Blue coat of arms explicitly.  Tell you what, old chum, why don't you take this one to replace your missing decanter and I'll send my man to get a replacement made!  Jolly good show, I say!

<hands over decanter, hopes Lady O does not notice cheap brass plated in lieu of solid gold necklace>

[Opsa]

Darling, I wouldn't dream of taking your decanter, but I'm awfully flattered that you had a counterfeit made. No, no, no, you keep it. I insist! In fact, let me have a special necklace made for you with the Blue coat of arms. It would amuse me! But do let's drain this decanter, shall we?

Oh dear, it looks like someone drained it whilst I was raving.

[Pachyderm]

That's not really a problem, Lady O, Ai just happen to have a reserve supply in me other pocket. And in several other pockets, as well.

Snifters all round, what!

*sounds of copious volumes being dispensed*

Ai believe a toast to be in order.

Tir nam beann, nan gleann, nan gaisgeach!

[Bluenose]

Why, thank you Lord Pachy, don't mind if I do.

My goodness, that's certainly a very fine drop - Bisquit X.O. if I'm not mistaken.  Oh dear, this one seems to have disappeared, could I trouble you for a refill?

[Opsa]

Gracious, mine has, as well. Pity that, eh? Do let's have another, it being Friday and all.

[pieces o nine]

* a lady-like hic *

[Pachyderm]

These pocket thingys are very  handy, are they not?

*dispenses more "medicine" all round*

Watkins,  pop down to the cellar and bring up a case or two of the XO, would you?

Topping fellow, that Watkins. Dab hand at ironing the morning newspapers, never a crease out of place, and narey a smudge....

[pieces o nine]

One certainly hopes that he also turns the pages for you, Lord Pachy. Such tedious business, turning pages whilst balancing a bone china teacup!

[Opsa]

I nearly chipped a nail doing that, once. It was beastly! Well, I don't need to tell you I'll never make that same mistake again.

Watkins is indeed a treasure. Where can I get one?

[The Meromorph]

Ahh. I've  been tryin' to work out what this place is that I'm now Viceroy of....
Have any of you chaps heard of a place called Scotland?
Or maybe Aberdeen?.

There seems to be something fishy going on anyway, I may have to send a gardener out to ask...

[Pachyderm]

Aberdeen?  They made me Governor General  and Minister Plenipotentary when I went to University there. Grey and cold, Mero old boy, grey and cold. I recommend you send a deputy. The natives are revolting....

Snifter, anyone?