Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[Opsa]

Ahh. I've  been tryin' to work out what this place is that I'm now Viceroy of....
Have any of you chaps heard of a place called Scotland?
Or maybe Aberdeen?.

There seems to be something fishy going on anyway, I may have to send a gardener out to ask...

Aberdeen?  They made me Governor General  and Minister Plenipotentary when I went to University there. Grey and cold, Mero old boy, grey and cold. I recommend you send a deputy. The natives are revolting....

Snifter, anyone?

Would you be a darling and see if the deputy can bring us back another few Watkinses or similar facsimile as long as he's out? Oh oh oh- and some more brandy. Just put it on the Viceroy's tab. And yes, I'll have another snifter. In fact, let's just toss these old snifters and get fresh ones.

[Bluenose]

Hmm, one does feel rather peckish when testing the quality of all this brandy.  What say we get the deputy to rustle up some cucumber sandwiches, eh what?

Deputy - rustle up...   Guffaw...  Snort...  ...




Ahem...

[pieces o nine]

One's Ladies' Maid has just reminded one that she had packed a "pick-a-nick" hamper with cold chicken, cucumber sandwiches, and petits fours. This "pick-a-nick" scheme seems quite clever! However did the lower classes ever come up with it.

Collations rustiques, anyone?

[Bluenose]

My word, what a capital idea!

<quickly scoffs 3 points of a cucumber sandwich while Lady Pieces is looking the other way>

<makes a show of carefully choosing remaining single point of the first cucumber sandwich and, holding delicately, takes a nibble>

I say, these cucumber sandwiches are champion, Lady Pieces!  Jolly well done you.

[pieces o nine]

Thank you, I'm sure, Lord Blue. The trick is to hire just the right sort to staff the kitchens. And to keep a close eye on the silver, naturally.

Opsa, M'Lord Mero, Pachy... cucumber points or chicken? I say, bringing along enough staff to carry the "pick-a-nick" hampers, well-stocked portable bar, turn the pages of any random newspapers or novels, and hold one's parasol, fan, reticule, plate, teacup, and brandy snifters is such a chore.

One can feel so crowded  whilst contemplating Nature's glories.

[Opsa]

Too true, Pieces. Oooh, cucumber for me. *titter*

I'll send the upstairs staff to assist us in our revelry. They can get back to dusting on their day off. Little Genevieve suggested to cart the main dishes in the perambulator. Can you imagine? Poor little dear, bless her heart, she is awfully lucky we took her in and gave her employment. Naturally, I told her that would never do.

[pieces o nine]

Tsk, tsk. They have such odd  minds!

[Pachyderm]

Ai say! Cold collation, pick-a-nick and brandy! All we need now is a tin or two of Maconachie's Stew heated over a fire made from native huts, a few dusky chaps to throw spears and stop machine-gun bullets and it'll be just like my old Army days!

What was it old Hilaire Belloc said? Ah, yes,

"Whatever happens, we have got
The Maxim gun, and they have not."


Wise fellow, never a truer word spoken. Still, we did look rather dashing in our lovely coats. Must see if the old red rag is still around. Afraid the sporran got a hole or two at Ladysmith. Damned inconvenient, trying to fight with an assegai hanging from yer sporran. Still, the RSM got a medal for removing it under fire.

Brandy?

[Opsa]

Eauuuuuuu.... it all sounds so, so ....rugged! How frightfully exciting. We might need more brandies just to recover from the sheer manliness of your conquests! Why, I simply can't bear the thought of your dragging that assegai around behind you. *swoon* *teeter*

[The Meromorph]

So annoyin' to be missin' all the fun and games your good selves are havin'.
Here in this 'Aberdeen' or whatever. place, I decided to show the viceregal flag a bit, what? You know, inspire the natives, get some exercise, investigate the possibility of some huntin'...  I still can't understand these chappies, but I must say the area outside the palace does remind me of my old school dormitory. You know, granite walls, strong freezin' drafts, occasional screams...
My staff insisted I try a local delicacy, which seems to be called 'Fashion Chaps', I must say it was rather good, but I was a little concerned that the name implied a degree of cannibalism in the local culture (not too unusual in the kinds of places one tends to be appointed viceroy of}, but it seemed after all to be something smelling strongly of  some sort of fish.
Seemed a lot of the natives were wearing kilts, too, but none of them were from a 'good' regiment so I didn't attempt to engage them in conversation. I must ask the butler to arrange some decent curry for my tiffin.  Anyone like to come for a visit? There no Society here of course, but the local tipple is very decent, very decent indeed.

[Opsa]

Sounds capital. Shall we take our picnic there? I do so enjoy a good slumming tour.

[pieces o nine]

Here, here! We can enjoy a bit of new scenery whilst inspiring the indigenous population to emulate us. A great boon to the local economy, I'm sure.

[Bluenose]

Indeed!  Bye the way, where is this Aberdeen place, ole chum?  Is it anywhere near Trafalgar Square?

If it's not too far I shall send for the Rolls, gentlefolk, might I offer you a ride?

BTW, Lord Mero please do explain about this local tipple of which you speak, it sounds positively intriguing...

[The Meromorph]

Certainly my dear Blue...  All I know at the moment is that it seems to be called 'aweedram', but I shall seek more information as soon as I can stand up a little better (It's rather good stuff doncherknow). I've already told m'butler to lay in a few barrels in anticipation of your arrival.  I'll get some of those 'Fashion Chaps' too, i think, most unusual
!

[pieces o nine]

How do they hold up when packed for a "pick-a-nick"?  One is always looking for the unusual or exotic to add to one's entertaining repertoire.