Another game that needed resurrection.
Btw, resurrection games were invented by Al Gore.
No, ressurection games were invented by E.Raser
Al Gore invented the Last Post
The Last Post was invented by some accountant, when inventory of the Post-making factory was done ... :eye-roll:
Al Gore invented bad puns
No. Bad puns have been with us since the beginning of time.
Al Gore invented "fat free" food.
Naaah. "fat-free" was invented by the ketchup advisory board, to get people to eat more ketchup.
Al Gore invented those funny shapes that make up a soccor ball (European football).
Naw, that was Euclid.
Al Gore invented non-Euclidean geometry.
that was dilcue.
or something.
Dilcue.... soundslike a dildo.
whihc Al Gore invented.
Nah, those were invented LONG before Al OR Tipper Gore.
Al Gore DID however invent the portable crib.
Nope. That was my sister-in-law. So that she could bring her [then] baby over to the grandparents' house for lengthy stays ... smart gal, my sister-in-law.
Al Gore is credited for inventing the Grassy Knoll* theory. When in actuality, it was Tipper that thought of it first.
__________________
* nice tie-in to my other post on the funny Japanese poetry thread
No. The "Grassy Knoll" theory was invented by the Texas chapter of Paranoids R Us.
Al Gore invented the riding lawn mower.
No, that was Albert- the man who was Too Lazy to Fail. He hated walking behind his mower ...
Al Gore, however, invented chalk-flavored antacid tablets. Yummy!
Hmm, I thought those were invented by my first gastroenterologist, Freddy "Bend Over" Mc BooBoo...
Al Gore invented chocolatey Ex-Lax for use in joke Senate muffin baskets. :o
Naaah, that was Walter Mondale, who had an odd sense of humor.
Al Gore invented cannibis-enhanced brownies.
No, that was Timothy Leary.
Al Gore invented cream cheese and bagels.
Nope, that was a broke baker with no taste.
Al Gore invented the goose step.
Nope. That was an old Prussian general with stiff knees.
Al Gore invented the marching band.
Don't confuse it with band aid for the troops marching to victory.
Al Gore invented the victory sign (disguised as an overweight Englishman)
Oh dear, he did, didn't he?
Al Gore invented the term "PC"
No, that was IBM, in 1981 actually. Personal Computer. You remember IBM? International Business Machines? They USED to be big in computers ...
Al Gore INVENTED the personal computer, though.
Nah, he just helped pass the legislation that made the Internet a reality for everyone instead of a group of universities running a limited network that was closed to most people. Some guy at IBM invented the PC, but Ross Perot made a killing on it.
Al Gore invented Ross Perot.
Hmmm...I could have sworn that Ross Perot invented Ross Perot, a self-made man.
Al Gore invented self-sealing tires.
No, Self Sealing tires were invented by DuPont or 3M, I forget which, during WWII for fighter airplanes. Or was that self-sealing gas tanks? I often mix those two up ...
Al Gore, on the other hand, invented The Other Hand.
On the one hand, it would be really bad if you filled up your tires with gasoline and your gas tank with air.
On the other hand, the other hand was invented by the first man with two hands.
While on the third hand...
Al Gore invented things that go bump in the night.
Quote from: Aphos on October 11, 2006, 04:49:37 AM
... and your gas tank with air.
This happens automatically, when the gas is used up. I suppose some folks' gas tank fills up with a vaccum instead ...
Al Gore DID invent things that go bump in the night. He called'em republicans ...
Al Gore ALSO invented Things That Make You Feel Safe, like hiding under the covers.
No, that was invented by the waterfowl company with the slogan "duck and cover".
Al Gore invented cholesterol inhibitors
That man is just determined to save the world...
from itself. Again.
Thusly, he also invented fully flavored and delecious diabetic friendly ice cream.
Naah, that was F.D.R., for himself.
Al Gore invented Instant Water*
___________________
* comes in a box. All you need for refreshing spring-like water, is to add to the contents of the box, some water.
Yes, after his idea for instant beer failed because people preferred to drink beer with Bush instead.
Al Gore invented the femmefatalotron.
No, that was Barbarella!
Al Gore invented applaud/smite Instant Karma buttons.
Naah. I give ALL that credit to MentalBlock996, our humble Administrator.
Al Gore invented Karma, however.
Nah, Miranda invented Karma.
Al Gore invented Carmen.
Slight mistake, Al Gore wrote the Carmina Burana, Carmen was written by Andrew Lloyd Bernstein.
Yeah, he did, but GWB ran it down with his big ol' Rabid Dogma.
Thus, Al Gore invented statesmanship.
Nah, that was Franklin.
Al Gore did, however, invent Phill Angeldies
Since I have NO idea who or what "Phill Angeldies" is/was, could be.
Al Gore ALSO invented ignorance-of-the-masses (of which I demonstrated in the previous sentance).
Yeah, but I made ignorance an art.
Al Gore invented the karma that ran over my dogma.
was that a karma-gia? ya'know, with the 4-cylinder engine in the back ...
Al Gore also invented dogma, as a Literary Style of Speaking
(Phil Angelides is the guy running against Arnold Schwartzenegger for the California Governor's position.)
Nah, Dogma as a literary style of speaking, was the invention of Cotton Mather, who did NOT invent the cotton gin.
Al Gore invented the Cotton Dry Martini.
Cotton Gin is so dry. ;D
Al Gore invented the gimlet.
No, wasn't that J.R.R. Tolkien?
Al Gore invented the Message in a Bottle
Quite possibly he did. However he did NOT invent the worm in the bottom of the bottle.
Al Gore invented the nickname "TaKillYa" for tequila.
No, Harper Lee, inventor of the Tequila Mockingbird, invented that.
Al Gore invented the gila monster.
No, that was some guy in either Texas or Arizona.
Al Gore invented serrated BUTTER Knives - the better to SLICE BUTTER with, my dear!
And possibly Gipper's fingers, too. (I THINK that's his wife's name)
Al gore also invented self-ripening tomatos
Tipper Gore I think.
Al Gore invented biodiesel.
MB
And Willie Nelson is helping perfect it.
The sibling below me wonders if industrial hemp production would help, not only in biodeisel, but in soil remediation, natural fiber clothing production, and a thousand other commercial applications, if only the lunatics would recognize the differences between regular hemp and the special kind...
Yes, I think all of those are good ideas. But I am more interested in what Al Gore invented.
Al Gore invented intant replays.
Naah, that was George Steinbrenner or somone like him.
Al Gore invented Staged Peaceful Protest as a method of Changeing Your Government.
I think he did.
Did he also invent keeping track of where you are in the forum when the phone rings?? I hope so...'cause I need to learn how to do that. That AL Gore's pretty smart!!
Al Gore invented the splatter movie. Unlike earlier assumptions propagandists for family values do not abhor this type of movie for its (usually domestic = family oriented) violence but because there is al(l) too much gore in it.
Yeessss. I LIKES it, yesss I do. Puns are precious, yeesss they are.
Al Gore also invented Trailer Parks - the only real estate investment that DEpreciates with time ...
I think it was actually Al Gore that replaced the old-fashioned movie trailer by that short advertising film clips. Driving the old style trailer past the screen used up petrol and left that oily smell in the cinema. Now it just has to park in front to deliver the roll.
Actually, Al Gore, DID, in fact, invent the cinema.
He also invented the proper Thank You note, in order to express appreciation to Edison and all the other people who did all the work...
Wasn't that actually Tipper's idea?
Al Gore invented Trading Stamps
Clearly preferable to stampeding trade.
Al Gore went on a roadshow with organ playing cows and ballet horses.
Al Gore has a patent on step-dancing ungulates.
Naaah, all ungulates are the province of Sib Qwetzy/Qwerty, as he's more in sync with their needs.
Al Gore is more concerned with Lagomorphs (especially considering all the Pirate activity surrousding them recently).
Likely that is true.
Al Gore also invented a Solar-powered Flashlight, for those environmentally conscious folk who are in the dark.
Yes and the flash signalling code to go with them.
In fact, Al Gore invented climate change to boost his sales of Solar-Powered Flashlights.
Yes, yes he did.
He also invented Global Warming, to bolster stock in hybrid autos
Nah, that wasn't Al Gore. That was the insidious Ford Motor Company, first to be last with a bad idea.
Al Gore invented wind powered boomboxes.
Ford stole Al Gore's idea to put a lamp on top of the solar-mobile, so it could run without a battery even at night.
Ford would do that sort of thing, especially to Al Gore.
~~~~~~~
Al Gore would be kind and forgive Ford for ripping him off.
But he clearly would not buy one of the cars.
Al Gore invented the caterpillar drive but was pretty upset when it was abused for tanks.
No, in 1890, Benjamin Holt and Daniel Best experimented with various forms of steam tractors for use in farming. They did so separately, with separate companies. http://www.cat.com/cda/layout?m=38033&x=7 (http://www.cat.com/cda/layout?m=38033&x=7)
And, I understand, they were delighted at selling their products the the Army ...
Al Gore, however, invented Cheese Food (ya' know, the yellow stuff that has NEVER seen the inside of a cow, goat or ANY animal...)
Ever see "Cheese Product, compare to Velveeta"? Think of it: IMATATION FAKE cheese ... (credit: Aphos, who first observed this, as far as I know)
I thought he invented Chinese food (minus the dogs, of course)
Al Gore could NOT have invented Chinese Food. He's not even Jewish.
AL Gore did invent kreplach, even though he's not Jewish.
He isn't?
Oh, I should have noticed: people whose names start with Al mnust be Arabic.
Al Gore invented a computer language but the Chinese stole it and marketed it as Algol.
True.
Al Gore also invented duct tape.
Red Green invented duct tape.
Al Gore invented ducks.
Actually, I believe he did invent the political maneuver, "duck" as in "to duck a punch". It seems that Al Gore is older than he looks, and in the olden days, politicos actually used fisticuffs to debate each other, rather than words. When TV came along, they had to tone it down for the tender audiences' sake.
Al Gore also invented grade B schlock-horror movies. In fact, they are NAMED after Mr Gore.
We had that one already (too obvious, isn't it).
Al Gore invented logical debating. Ergo (=therefore) is just an anagram of his name.
Indeed, he did.
Using the same astute logic, Al Gore also invente the musical scale:
do re me fa so LA ti do
Indubitably true.
Al Gore also invented Howard Dean.
Howard Dean. I used to think that he was related to Howard the Duck for some odd reason.
As a matter of fact, I think I saw somewhere that Al Gore invented Howard the Duck as well.
I believe he invented the movie version only. The comic book version was all Tipper's idea.
Al Gore was also instrumental in the inception of Op Art, because he likes short names.
He was asked whether he was interested in pop tarts and he had either a hearing problem or was just evasive.
Al Gore invented the hearing aid for his boss Bill Clinton
No. Bill Clinton just stuck a jelly bean in his ear and faked it.
Al Gore did invent gummy bears, though.
Who said that the hearing aid Al Gore invented for Bill Clinton was not biodegradable (=edible)?
Al Capone? Must have been.
After he invented jelly beans, Al Gore invented jelly babies, way before he dreamt up gummy bears.
No, sorry, Ronnie R invented jelly beans.
Al Gore invented indoor plumbing
Trying hard to resist responding "No sh!t?", but obviously not hard enough... ::) ;D
Actually, Al Gore invented the Mark Four Three Prong Two Slot Blivet.
I don't believe it. I think all our current blivets were made by the Republicans.
However, Al Gore did invent the Mark 1 Eyeball.
Biodegradable of course (not to be confused with sheep eyes).
Al Gore invented the movie cliche.
But, what if I'm allergic to eggs? Oh! cliche, not quiche ...
Al Gore invented Eggs Benedict
Eggs Benedict were invented by Gulliver in an attempt to end the war over which end of a boiled egg was the proper one to open.
Al Gore invented the two hole outhouse.
After (due to a cold) mishearing: We should shit together some time.
Al Gore (in another case of mishearing) invented the pun after a meeting with James (the) Baker.
Yes, I believe he did invent punishment.
Al Gore also invented the Easter Bunny - at least the idea the a rabbit has anything to do with eggs ...
No, that was my middle school biology teacher, Clara Crittenden, well known spinster and the first ever Presbyterian nun. (Could have been, anyway.)
Al Gore invented bunny slippers.
His first version (molerats) flopped.
Al Gore invented the flip-flops too.
He got the idea when he turned the molerat slippers upside down.
Al Gore also invented cross trainers.
I think it was cross-breeding trainers
Al Gore invented cloning but his secretary made a typo and the patent was rejected beacuse clowning was already invented (by Rusius Limbaugius Magnagula in ancient Rome)
Indeed.
Al Gore is reputed to have invented the latest Democratic Victory - by the simple task of making an interesting movie about Global Warming.
Given the very heated campaign that was a natural.
Al Gore invented the electric heater
No, that was Thomas Edison, actually. On his way to inventing the Light Bulb.
Al Gore invented those really annoying blink-on-off-on-off-on-off lights you sometimes see at this time of year.
On! Off! On! Off! On! Off! On! Off! -- make up your mind already!
No, that was Father "Edison" Christmas.
Al Gore invented rational thought.
Duke
Nope. Descartes. Cogito, Ergo Sum.
Al Gore invented Tofu Spam - for vegetarians on a budget
No, The Hawaiian Institute of Spam (HIS) invented that.
The Sibling me is a meteorologist.
Duke
Quote from: Duke on November 19, 2006, 07:38:13 PM
The Sibling me is a meteorologist.
Duke
Err-em, okay. So, you're a meteorologist, then?
What did Al Gore invent?
Al Gore invented the "Remember not to stick your hand in the toaster!" sign. I know because I've seen one.
Duke
Yes, but he forgot to include a warning about garbage disposals.
Al Gore invented the trash compactor
True. But some trash cannot be compacted.
Al Gore invented recycling to take the recyclables out of the compactors.
But then he noticed that the compactors themselves were recyclable.
By trying to remove the compactor from itself he invented the vacuum that he then filled into the lightbulbs of his kinsbeing Thomas Algore Edison.
No, Lord Ackton invented the vaccum.
Al Gore invented platinum.
Duke
No, that was invented by very rich women, who had decided that gold was simply "too colonial".
Al Gore invented the letter-grading system for public schools. It was later corrupted by Bush Senior, when he purchased a "c" for his "f" student-son.
Gaming the program for their own advancement is a Bush Family Tradition.
Al Gore knew that, but didn't think it would extend to gaming the voting system. thus, Al Gore invented being too good for your own good.
Indeed.
Al Gore invented the golf ball.
No, that was Albus McReady. He was very bored with sheep-farming one afternoon ...
Al Gore invented Comedy Central Secret Stash.
He needed something to do with all the videos people sent him to use to blackmail GWB out of the race for office in 2000...
Al Gore may well be drafted to run for President again in 2008.
_I_'d vote for him. Hopefully, he will permit his interesting and witty personality to shine through the usual political handling ... :P
That's what killed him last time, listening to the "experts". If he'd just ignore the James Carvilles and that kind of 'manager' and go with what he thinks is right...and acts like himself, not like a stuffed shirt, he could win. Assuming, of course, that the party doesn't get totally Hillaryized in the mean time.
The whole thing's going to come down to the populist progressives versus the overtly 'centrist' political operatives. The people win if the progressives win. The corporations continue to win otherwise. It'll be a little tighter on them, but not as much as it needs to be.
Ooops!! Hijacked the game.
Al Gore invented the electric hula hoop.
A slight malfunction then led to the invention of techno.
Al Gore invented solar-powered roller skates
Indeed.
He's also invented other useless solar-powered things, such as a solar powered blender, stapler, and paper shredder.
I especially liked his Solar-powered Camp Fire*
Al Gore also invented the solar-powered camera-flash. Only works outside, and during the day...
__________________________
* not guaranteed to keep wolves at bay at night. Not guaranteed on cloudy days, or during solar eclipses
He may well have, but it works beautifully!!
Al Gore also invented the search engine.
Actually, I believe he did. Especially THIS one: http://www.missdewey.com/ (http://www.missdewey.com/). (flash-heavy site, but worth the wait. very amusing, actually. Ask her personal questions ... !)
Al Gore also invented cheese-cloth. A material used to strain cheesy jokes and such. Also used in Afghanistan women's wear, chiefly over the face ...
Nope, Cheesecloth was invented by the Monks of St. Gorgonzola the Fragrant, and made available to the modern world by the Brothers of Perpetual Holeyness of Switzerland.
Al Gore invented the blend of Colby and Monterrey Jack Cheese that's sold as Co-Jack.
I thought it was the Wensleydale cheese that he invented to give him a special smile when saying it.
Al Gore invented Wallace & Gromit
Are you certain such fine British humor was authored by a sometimes too-stiff American?
Al Gore also invented too-stiff speeches - so stiff that they gave me a sympathetic back-ache just watching them ... :P
Depends
Was his upper lip stiff also?
Al Gore invented the moustache
that was invented by a sartorially elegant mouse
Al Gore invented rice paper
Unlike his previous invention, rice wine, it was free of tariffs.
al gore did not invent rice wine. Only people with no grapes could invent that 'drink'
Al Gore invented the slinky dinky
I thought it was slinky dresses.
Al Gore invented Algae
No, that was the Japanese again - and they use it in their rice wine. ::)
Al Gore invented Cthulhu - Carol of the Old Ones (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ftld7Ohojg)
that was Mrs Thatcher (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Thatcher)(oooh politics politics!)
Al Gore invented wrapping paper
No that was Mr.Fishnchips
Al Gore invented Sumo Wrestling
Quote from: Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith on December 12, 2006, 02:47:05 PM
Al Gore invented Cthulhu - Carol of the Old Ones (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ftld7Ohojg)
Btw, there are now 2 CDs of Cthulhu Carols available (I love them)
Sumo wrestling was invented by John Prescott and Nigel Lawson
Al Gore invented pork chop sideburns
No, Al Gore directed Pork Chop Hill.
It's easy to confuse the subjects
And General Burnside invented sideburns.
Al Gore invented bearded modern American politicians. (And I wish he'd grow it back.)
I don't think he would be a good Lincoln imitator.
Al Gore is Fidel Castro's ghostwriter
Indeed.
Al Gore invented Kids Meals with a gratuitous, but worthless prize inside.
Quote from: Swatopluk on December 13, 2006, 11:04:49 AM
Quote from: Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith on December 12, 2006, 02:47:05 PM
Al Gore invented Cthulhu - Carol of the Old Ones (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ftld7Ohojg)
Btw, there are now 2 CDs of Cthulhu Carols available (I love them)
Is there a link to the author's website? :)
http://www.cthulhulives.org/Solstice/
also check for "A Shoggoth on the Roof"
Site is a wee bit buggy, so navigation can be tricky.
Al Gore invented the internet compass
Nah, that was the poor fellow who got lost in the aluminum tubes of the internet.
Al Gore did invent the naked cupcake, though he calls it a muffin.
He's a natural boffin, so the name was not surprising.
Al Gore invented the rifle-mounted radar
that was probably the CIA
Al gore invented hyphens
He is a despicable hyphenator.
Al Gore invented selfreplicating proteins
wouldn't self replicating proteins have invented self replicating proteins?
Al gore invented WIN
And he made use of his invention in the 2000 election. Too bad the supreme court disagreed.
Al Gore invented bubble bath.
No that was Mel Brooks for Men in Tights.
Al Gore co-invented the Dönertier
Along with Al Gore.
Al Gore invented the Gordian knot.
And he had to reinvent it when that idiot Alexander came and ruined it.
Al Gore invented self-tying knots
Unfortunately, his inventions turned on him.
Al Gore invented cryptography.
Nah, I think that was someone else.
Al Gore invented synonyms.
No, he created them.
Al Gore also exvented antonyms.
No he invented the X valve.
He also invented the Y and V valve
Interestingly enough, he also invented the C valve, but that's not so useful.
Al Gore invented vivoleum.
But he probably wishes now that he had not invented petroleum in his wild youth.
Al Gore invented the brass ring
Nah. Taking too much of the world's resources still.
Al gore invented the Royalties Council.
Becasue a Royal Corurt would be un-American.
Al Gore invented corals
No, Coral invented her own.
Al Gore invented fish fingers.
No, that was Captain Igloo.
But Al Gore invented the cake frying machine
Dude, that was Eli Whitney
Al Gore did, however, invent the Cotton Gin.
Despite cotton being an environmental fatal crop they way it is cultivated.
Al Gore invented culture
Which one?
Al Gore invented yogurt
No, that was King Jugurtha (as can be read in Sallust's classic pupil borer)
Al Gore invented dairy farming
But only non-intensive, cow-friendly dairy farmıng
Al Gore ınvented scıence
That was Al Ristotle not Al Gore.
Al Gore invented the recorder
No, that was the regorder.
Al Gore also invented regorgitation.
Isn't it gorgeous
Al Gore invented G'oreal
As in the Aurora Gorealis.
Then Al Gore invented the dipstick.
because the lipstick was already invented by Tripper Gore
Al Gore not only knew but also ivented his wife
He picked names for his invention from a hat, though.
Al Gore invented censorship of Gory films.
Especially because they had a bad influence on his son that thought they were about him.
Al Gore invented hibernation
It's why he's putting on weight. (Ok, he's not that fat!)
Al Gore invented tape.
As an addition to his invention of the duct.
No, that was the duck.
Al Gore also invented ducking.
Al Gore invented Grandgoosier
Wasn't grey goose?
Al Gore invented vodka
No, that was Gorbachov.
Al Gore invented orange juice
Nah, it was concentrate
Al Gore invented the Mig
After the Kalashnikov
He also invented hte Gory Mary