Toadfish Monastery

Sung to the tune of "Somewhere, Over the Rainbow"

Lyrics by Allan Sherman

Somewhere over-weight people, just like me.
Must have someplace, folks don't count every calorie.
Somewhere over the rainbow, way up tall;
there's a place where they've never heard of cholestoral(sp?)
Where folks can eat just what they want
and still stay slim and trim and guant,
You'll find me!
Where every little thing I taste
won't wind up showing on my waist,
or worse, ... behind me!
Somewhere over-indulging is divine.
If their waistlines aren't budging,
Why, then, oh why does mine?

If bluebirds ate as much as I
You'd see some big fat birds in the sky!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knew for three full days
Draggin along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque holiday inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
Its OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the a/c
And I turned on the spectravision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, theres a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say who is it?
No answer
Who is it?
Theres no answer
Who is it?
They're not sayin' anything

Weird Al Yankovic - Albuquerque

It's a lovely day tomorrow
Tomorrow is a lovely day
Come and fest your tear-dimmed eyes
On tomorrow's clear blue skies
If today your heart is weary
If ev'ry little thing looks grey
Just forget your troubles
And learn to say
Tomorrow is a lovely day

Vera Lynn (who else?)

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Talking Heads - Once In A Lifetime

She don't love me, she love my automobile.
She don't love me, she love my automobile.
She would do anything just to slide behind the wheel.

She said, "what's it gonna take for you to lay your top on down?"
She said, "what's it gonna take for you to lay your top on down?"
I said, "Honey, why don't you ask me when we hit the outskirts of town?"

Well now she don't care if I'm stoned or sloppy drunk.
Well she don't care if I'm stoned or sloppy drunk,
As long as she got the keys and there's a spare wheel in the trunk.

- "She Loves my Automobile", ZZ Top

Daddy put the keys in his pocket when he walked into the house
Or did he put them on the table by the telephone.
He thinks that's where he left them. He really isn't sure.
He knows he had to have them just to get inside the door.
Mom's in the kitchen, lookin' on the shelf,
She says this kind of panic is a hazard to her health.
Time to go to work, time to go to school,
And everybody's looking like a fool.

Baby's got the car keys and she's crawling down the hall.
She's a cute little pickpocket, sticky-fingered Goldilocks,
And she's not even 3 feet tall.
She puts them in the toy box and rattles them around,
Drops them in her diaper, now they can't be found.
Time to go to work, time to go to school,
And everybody's looking like a fool.

Digging in the sofa gets a dollar, fifty cents,
A toothpick, a candy bar, a dozen fountain pens.
Chaos in the living room, disaster in the den,
Sister says she saw 'em but she can't say when.
Tick-tock the car is locked, Daddy's going into shock.
Smelly, dirty diapers on the breeze.
Dad says he'll change it but baby's got to wait
Until he finds those dad gum keys!

Baby's got the car keys and she's crawling down the hall.
She's a cute little pickpocket, sticky-fingered Goldilocks,
And she's not even 3 feet tall.
The baby starts to giggle, there's something in her hand.
That booger drops a wallet in the garbage can.
Time to go to work, time to go to school,
And everybody's looking like a fool.

Mom's on the telephone trying to call a cab,
Daddy's changing baby's diaper in the living room.
The baby's on the table with a bottle in her mouth.
Daddy opens up the diaper, he begins to shout.
Treasure in the diaper, treasure in the muck,
It sure looks a lot like the keys to the truck.
Time to go to work, time to go to school.
And everybody's looking like a fool.

Baby's got the car keys and she had them all along.
She's a cute little pickpocket, sticky-fingered Goldilocks,
And she's not even 3 feet tall.
The party isn't over, they're about to find out,
Daddy threw away his wallet when he took the garbage out.
Time to go to work, time to go to school,
And everybody's looking like a fool.
Time to go to work, time to go to school,
Everybody's looking just like a fool.

Baby's Got the Car Keys

Trout Fishing in America

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tommorow, no tommorow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which Im dying
Are the best Ive ever had
I find it hard to tell you
cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
Its a very, very
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Tears for Fears - Mad World

(one of the most beautiful songs of all time)

I think this one's right up there too, especially the version at the end of Waking Ned Devine:

Oh all the money that e'er I had, I spent it in good company
And all the harm that e'er I've done, alas, it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit to memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass; good night and joy be with you all

Oh all the comrades that e'er I've had, they are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I've had, they would wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call, "good night and joy be with you all"

If I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile
There is a fair maid in this town that sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips I own, she has my heart enthralled
So fill to me the parting glass; good night and joy be with you all

- "The Parting Glass", Irish Traditional

They say, Ruby you're like a dream
Not always what you seem
And though my heart may break when I awake
Let it be so, I only know
Ruby, it's you

They say, Ruby you're like a song
You just don't know right from wrong
And in your eyes I see heartaches for me
Right from the start, who stole my heart?
Ruby, it's you

I hear your voice and I must come to you (must come to you)
I have no choice, so what else can I do? (what else can I do?)
They say, Ruby you're like a flame
Into my life you came
And though I should beware, still I just don't care
You thrill me so, I only know
Ruby, it's you

(I hear your voice and I must come to you)
(I have no choice, what else can I do?-what can I do?)
They say, Ruby you're like a flame
Into my life you came
And though I should beware, still I don't care
You thrill me so, I only know
Ruby, it's you

Ray Charles - Ruby

Georgia, Georgia, the whole day through
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind

Each day, Georgia, a song of you
Comes as sweet and clear as moonlight through the pines

Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
But in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you

Georgia, Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind

- "Georgia on my Mind", Stuart Gorrell and Hoagy Carmichael (and performed by Ray Charles)

Cold was the night, hard was the ground
They found her in a small grove of trees
Lonesome was the place where Georgia was found
She's too young to be out
On the street.

Why wasn't God watching?
Why wasn't God listening?
Why wasn't God there for
Georgia Lee?

Ida said she couldn't keep Georgia
From dropping out of school
I was doing the best that I could
But she kept runnin' away from this world
These children are so hard to raise good

Why wasn't God watching?
Why wasn't God listening?
Why wasn't God there for
Georgia lee?

Close your eyes and count to ten
I will got and hid but then
Be sure to find me. I want you to find me
And we'll play all over
We will play all over again

There's a toad in the witch grass
There's a crow in the corn
Wild flowers on a cross by the road
And somewhere a baby is crying
For her mom
As the hills turn from green back
To gold

Why wasn't God watching?
Why wasn't God listening?
Why wasn't God there for
Georgia lee?

Tom Waits - Georgia Lee

Who keeps on trusting you
When you've been cheating
And spending your nights on the town
And who keeps on saying that he still wants you
When you're through running around
And who keeps on loving you
When you've been lying
Saying things ain't what they seem
God does
But I don't
God will
But I won't
And that's the difference
Between God and me

So who says he'll forgive you
And says that he'll miss you
And dream of your sweet memory
God does
But I don't
God will
But I won't
And that's the difference
Between God and me


God Will ~ Lyle Lovett

Hot town summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirt and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
All around people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk hotter than a match head

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come on, come on and dance all night
Despite the heat it will be alright
And babe, don't you know it's a pity
The days can't be like the night
In the summer in the city
In the summer in the city

Cool town, evening in the city
Dressed so fine and looking so pritty
Cool cat lookin for a kitty
Gonna look in every corner of the city
Till I'm weezin like a bus stop
Running up the stairs gonna meet ya on the roof top

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come on, come on lets dance all night
Despite the heat it will be alright
And babe, don't you know it's a pity
The days can't be like the night
In the summer in the city
In the summer in the city

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come on, come on lets dance all night
Despite the heatit will be alright
And babe don't you know it's a pity
The days can't be like the night
In the summer in the city
In the summer in the city

Joe Cocker - Summer In The City

Artist: Cars, The
Album: Shake It Up
Title: Shake It Up  

uh well, dance all night play all day
Don't let nothin' get in the way
Dance all night keep the beat
Don't you worry 'bout two left feet
Shake it up
Shake it up, oo yeah
Shake it up
Shake it up

Well dance all night get real loose
You don't need no bad excuse
Dance all night with anyone
Don't let nobody pick your fun
Shake it up, oo-oo
Shake it up, yeah yeah
Shake it up, oo-oo
Shake it up

That's right i said dance all night (go go go)
And dance all night (get real low)
Go all night (get real hot)
Well, shake it up "now", all you've got, woo

Dance
Oo dance

Uh well dance all night and whirl your hair
Make the night cats stop and stare
Dance all night go to work
Do the move with quirky jerk
Just shake it up, oo-oo
Shake it up, oo yeah
Shake it up, that's right
Shake it up

Uh well dance all night (go go go)
"get so light" (get real low)
Dance all night (get real hot)
Shake it up, all you've got, woo

I got life, mother
I got laughs, sister
I got freedom, brother
I got good times, man

I got crazy ways, daughter
I got million-dollar charm, cousin
I got headaches and toothaches
And bad times too
Like you

I got my hair
I got my head
I got my brains
I got my ears
I got my eyes
I got my nose
I got my mouth
I got my teeth
I got my tongue
I got my chin
I got my neck
I got my tits
I got my heart
I got my soul
I got my back
I got my ass
I got my arms
I got my hands
I got my fingers
Got my legs
I got my feet
I got my toes
I got my liver
Got my blood

I got my guts (I got my guts)
I got my muscles (muscles)
I got life (life)
Life (life)
Life (life)
LIFE!

I Got Life, from the movie "Hair"