Toadfish Monastery

I had always aspired to be the Rose of Sharon, but, alas...



TSBM speaks the  Language of Flowers  with a Brussels Sprouts accent.

Yeah, but I am regularly accused of vulgarity by people passing by my garden.

The sibling below me calls a spade a bloody axe

What's wrong with the blood? As long the spade is sharp it cuts limbs as well.

TSBM knows where the bodies are buried.

In the green fields of France of course. Trench spades were made for additional use as weapon (similar to the pioneer bayonet that could be used as a digging tool).

The sibling below me plows his/her fields with a bolt action rifle.

More ammo!  I want to put in a row of turnips.

TSBM uses a bolt action rifle for family game night.

Aint nobody gonna skip out on paying rent on Park Place and Boardwalk!

The Sibling Below Me always uses the same Monopoly piece.

That's actually true but I haven't played for decades (2 I think).

The sibling below me considers the original Monopoly rules sacred und would not tolerate the slightest changes.

Money for landing on free parking?!?!  You're daft!!

TSBM insists on rolling the dice in private.

Of course. I go into the secret cupboard behind the library steps.

TsBM likes chewing the candlestick in the library.

It smokes too much if lighted.

The sibling below me swings it as if there whas no noon.

But only on the poles.

TSBM takes sun baths in Antarctica.

I got frozen into me bathtub down there once. Never again!

The Sibling Below Me will never again meet his/her true love on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Yeah, the bimbo he married on one of his outings along the Low Road would probably frown on that...


TSBM always takes the High Road.

Yeah, the low road is usually congested and has a toll on top of it.

TSBM is a toll thief.

Whenever the bell tolls I am compelled to steal pumpkins

TsBM once lived inside a pumpkin for a week