Toadfish Monastery

Donuts and coffee are elementary particles, essential to the formation of a happy universe.


The sibling below me knows the sound of one hand clapping.

Each of my ears knows it independently.


The sibling below me gravitates toward shortbread.

Well, shortbread does have a huge gravitational potential.


The sibling below me knows the potential of chocolate.

Chocolate, applied thickly enough, is twice as effective as tinfoil at stopping mind-control lasers.

TSBM is smeared in honey at the weekends.

Only when I've run out of chocolate. So far, so good, this month...


The Sibling Below Me knows why honeybees can fly.

Because they are close relatives of pigs.

TsBM wears a hoodie.

Wearing one now. And trousies, undies and sockies but no shoesies.

TSBM venerates Marmite

No.  I am an agnostic, and as such am uncertain as to the existence of Marmite.


The sibling below me worships the number 1.

* M * O * N * A * D *

But I'm having trouble choosing between Substantial Monism, Attributive Monism, or Absolute Monism.



The Sibling Below Me has stocked up on Absolut Monad

Certainly have, but I still prefer Absolut Citron.


TSBM likes snakebite and black

Ah yes, they were hilarious in their heyday.



The Sibling below me knows their arse from a hole in the ozone.

It's obvious, because the one causes the other.



The sibling below me puts termites in other peoples gas tanks.

Only if the gas tank is made out of wood.


The sibling below me once entered an Elvis impersonation contest.

Yes, unfortunately I chose the bloated, dead on the toilet in a purple nappy phase. I did'nt win...

TSBM hunts gerunds.


(Ops, should have clarified. Snakebite and black is a drink. Half lager, half cider, with blackcurrant cordial. Fizzy, cheap, gets you pissed quick. But looks impressive in a projectile vomit. Was beloved of students, precisely because of the aforementioned characteristics.)

I'm a gerund hunter from way back.


The sibling below me asks for extra mushrooms on his pizza.