Toadfish Monastery

...caught Brian the plumber square on his pipe bender.  That was it, Brian looked at the califlower, Capn H looked at the carrot, Ron pulled his Black sausage out of Peter Rabbit's...

...ammo bag. Then with an almighty explosion, Black Spot decided to open up on Peter Rabbit with a few rounds from his 460mm supergun.

'You want war, yer buck tooth rodent, yewl get a war, yelled Black Spot.

'Yeah yer bleedin varmint, tell your master and Santa that if they want a rumble with us Pirates, it's game on' yelled DaveL as he lobbed grenades at the 'cute widdle bunny'.

'I shall indeed, said Peter Rabbit' You varmints are gonna pay!!

By now the Pirates were whipped into a bloodlust....

... and were too busy fighting each other to notice Peter Rabbit jumping from the table up to the chandelier. From this lofty position he screamed "Power to the Rabbits", having just passed through Tooting on his way to Portsmouth. He whipped an odd looking beret out of his pocket and put it on his.....

...friend Che Rabbit, the famous left wing leader of the Rabbit's Popular Front.  The pirates were too busy scrapping amongst themselves to notice the arrival of Che's heavily armed Storm Rabbits!  Suddenly, with a shout of their terrifying war cry: "Nobody Does it Like Rabbits" Che launched his Storm Rabbits into the fray! Ron was so surprised by the attack he let off an enormous...

...methanous emission, which sent the Storm Rabbits scuttling for the doors.

Just then, Capn H. lit a match which...

...spontaniously ignited the heavy brown gas,
KABOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
Big Ron and the pirates all survived the blast with minor burns and smoke inhalation but the rabbits were blown to bits! 
Still there was no shortage of rabbit stew for next few weeks.  Big Ron sat down to a hearty meal with his new chums, they'd all consumed copious amounts of rum...
Ron: Ye aint such a bad un Capn H.
Capn H: I love you, Big Ron.
Black Spot: Ye sound like a right couple of...

....rabbits

and no sooner were the words out of his mouth than Cap'n H and Big Ron started sprouting long floppy ears and fluffy.....

...tails.

'Nyah What's up Ron?' said Capn H.

'Nyah, you wanna go watch Piratica play The Festive Season All Stars? said Capn H.Bunny gnawing a carrot.

'Sure do...wanna pass me that lettuce'...said Big Ron Bunny

Meanwhile, word of the vicious attack had reached the Easter Bunny...

...Girl.  The Easter Bunny girl was a recent addition to Madame Fifi's harem.  She was tall, blonde and had the most magnificent pair of...

...Bunny Ears Capn H had ever seen. Big Ron was also smitten by this lapine beauty, infact so smitten was he, he burst into song:

So fair a wench was she
She had me writing ditties
and I could hardly wait
To grab hold of her...

...soft cotton bunny tail...

"...I've never heard it called that before!" said Capn H.  "Fair Bunny, will ye come aboard our gallion and take a butchers at our etchins?"

Suddenly, there was the sound of clanking spanners and Brian the Plumber appeared...

"Fair maiden, let me introduce you to Brian the plumber", spake Big Ron, his eyes twinklin like stars.

The Bunny Girl held out her dainty paw for Brian to kiss...
"My good man", said the girl "So you are a plumber, can I see your testimonials?"
Brian was taken aback..."Blimey", he said, and with that he whipped out his...

...wallet and produced a shaef of papers. "Here's all the proof you'll need," said Brian.

The Bunny Girl quickly read through them.

"My, my," she said. "I see that Lady Anthea was particularly impressed with your...

.... monkey wrench. If you can sort out chimpanzees perhaps you'd like to help me with these rabbits that are nibbling my.....

..root vegetable collection.  Stop it yer blighters or O'ill tell DaveL, Black Spot and Black Bart where yer be hidin'...