The Admiral Benbow

[The Black Spot]

Arrrr yer swab.

'Enry Kelly will be 'ere soon to turn on the Christmas lights to me fine tavern. We'll 'ave at least four bulbs this year. I hears Mr Kelly's gettin' a lift on Cap'n Cronan's vessel, so 'ee should turn up safe and sound soon.

Marvellous

Cap'n Tom Dillon

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR I turned up for new Thursday night quiz at the Admiral Benbow and quite an evenin it turned out to be.  We had an all star team: myself, Black Spot, Calico Jack and Capn Cronan! Twere all the brilliant idea o the new landlord Capn 'Marvellous' Tom Dillon. He said there'd be free biscuits for all at the end o the quiz and a special prize for the winning team.

We were a bit upset at having to part with a dubloon each to enter but when we saw the quiz categories we started to fancy our chances:
Round 1: What kind of pet does a pirate like?
Round 2: Is a pirate
a. Someone who robs from houses
b. Someone who robs from aeroplanes
c. Someone who robs from ships
Round 3: What does the pirate phrase 'Shiver me timbers' mean in pirate speak?
a. I am a bit cold
b. I love boy bands
c. I am surprised
Round 4: An all out cutlass fight to the death!

We struggled a bit on round 3 with Capn Cronan insistin on puttin b. I love boy bands down, but we breezed through the cutlass fight as the other entrants were all from the local poor house!

We surrounded Capn Dillon demandin our prize and biscuits.  We should ave known better...we got a plate of the weevliest biscuits I've ever seen and the prize...
...twere some sort of pie...I still can't get me cutlass out the crust!

[The Black Spot]

Gah, ye can talk.

In the picture round, ye insisted that number 4 was Jean Simmons when everyone else knew it were King Philip of Spain.

An ye said that Joan o' Arc came from Cuba.

[Black Bart]

AAAARRRGH...Jean Simmons!

He were a terrible singer!

[The Black Spot]

Don't try an get out o' it. Ye were the one 'oo said that Jean Simmons was Alice Cooper's real name.

An ye said that Bonnie and Clyde were killed with ice picks in Cuba.

[Black Bart]

GGGAAARRRRR...even so...we would ave gotten away with it. But when the bar tender came over with the grog vouchers ye shouted:
'Call that a prize ye blaggard!' and lopped off his head wiv yer cutlass!!!

Still his head looks really good mounted on the wall next to that fake bullock!

[Black Bart]

YYYAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!...

I said ASTEROIDS ye deaf cow!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

The other day Oi sat on the cold ground and got Asteroids. Now this space ship keeps flying around trying to shoot me bum into tiny pieces. YArrr...

[anthrobabe]

4 pieces o eight to ya DAveL for photos o the prolem

[Black Bart]

8 pieces o eight to ye if ye don't show any photos!!!!!

[Bluenose]

Yarr!

Barman, a shot o' Captain's Delight fer everywun here, me good man!  Just ter spread the good cheer, yer unnerstan? 

Quietly _{Pour mine from this bottle, if you don't mind.  Yes, I know it looks like a bottle of Chivas Regal with the words Chivas Regal crossed out and Captain's Delight written in crayon, but none o' these swabs'll know the diffrence an' Oi'm payin, right?}

[The Black Spot]

I were 'aving a quiet binge the other night, when a shady lookin'character walks into the tavern an' buys everyone a drink.

Well, I has a mugful or two with 'im (just to be sociable like) when everything goes black. Next thing I knows I'm wakin' up in me cabin with a ragin' headache, last night's dinner down me shirt, a black eye an' sore knuckles.

In me pockets I found a three quarters finished bottle o' some stuff called "Captain's Delight", a carton o' "Kentucky Fried Bilge-rat" and a policeman's helmet.

Decent drop o' stuff that were. I 'ope 'ees down again ternight.

[Bluenose]

Psst...  Mr publican...

As part o' th' public'ty fer Captain's Delight, we wuld loike ter offer ye a half a cronin subsidy per pint o' Captain's Delight ye sell over th' bar, ter enabl ye ter offer a lower proice ter all ye valuable kustomers.  Also we be offerin ye a dozen bottles ye can raffle off ter all them mugs patrons wiv the proceeds goin ter yer cunning kick a charity of ye choice.  Also we be offerin ye this great big illuminated Captain's Delight sign ter put over ye front door, ter attract them thirsty buggas loike moths to th' flame.

All we ask in return is that ye be tellin all th' swabs wot enters yer den o' iniquity foine establishment wot an eggsellent product the Captain's Delight is, and ter offer it as an alternative enny toime one of 'em orders sommat else.  Also that ye agree ter put up all these foine lookin Captain's Delight posters in yer bar.

Wot d'yer say matey, are ye in?

[anthrobabe]

Note to tha blokes from Saucy Gert Pettigrew here( jus back from her high seas adventurin wif the crew o the "Leaky George"- HA luxsury sailin my arse!)


tha spittons is fo spittin in ye scurvey dogs.

me recent trip on the high seas waz nuthin to write home about- sos I din't. Last time I answer an ad in PlayBilge fo a speshul discount cruise for ale wenches. I gots on board and the firs mate handed me a paddle- he did.

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR...them paddles can come in andy when ye has to dish out some corporal punishment!  Oh sorry that be Madam Fifi's not the Admiral B...cross threadin breaks out again!!