The Admiral Benbow

[anthrobabe]

ahoy
this weekend a tha spot bout scuppered all tha fleet this weekend

Saucy is one tired ale wench

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR....I has a cunnin, cunnin plan!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Ok do tell Bart. We's all be gettin' a bit edgy about Dec 24th.

Oi thought O'id polished him off last year off Sydney headlands. Unfortunately Santa's little helpers sent a rescue team out to salvage him.

They needed at 10 tonne crane to pull that chubby blighter out of the Tasman Sea.

YArrrr!

[Black Bart]

It be toim to hatch me cunnin, cunnin plan...it can't fail I tell ye, Santa's a gonner this time. What we needs is a inside man, or in this case a man cunningly disguised as...



a Reindeer...shall I be Donner or Blitzen?

[The Black Spot]

By the look o' those antlers, ye should be Groper.

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR...If things get hairy I can hold a cutlass in each antler!

[Griffin NoName]

Oi be wunnerin if as Bart teks em picters of iself all dressed up on a self-timer exposure or if as e as an accomperlis oo takes the snaps 

[Black Bart]

For that one I was caught on the security camera o Santa's Grotto in Debenaaaaarrrrrghms Portsmouth...I was on a practise run but me antlers got caught in a low slung xmas festoon!

[DaveL]

YArrrr..

Oi reckoN Saucy Gert wOUld lOok prEtty gOod WiTh a pAir of anTleRs...yaRrr, but Oi be farRr toO drunK...hic...hic...

[Bluenose]

YYYAAARRRR....I has a cunnin, cunnin plan!

Err, Bart...  ye haven't bin talkin ter Baldrick again 'ave ye?

[Black Bart]

How did ye know me First mate was called Baldrick?  He comes up with some top ideas...I thinks he be a tad more heducated than the rest o the crew! He can even count usin beans! Aye and when it gets tough on a long voyage and we reaches the...urine drinkin stage...it be Baldrick's urine, already bottled, what we drink.

[Black Bart]

YYYAAAARRRRR twere a mistake comin in the Admiral Benbow what with the Dribblin Parrot match comin up...the lads from the Parrot rolled in lookin fer trouble.

Thomas 'Golden Taps' Graverson & Kenny '2-Pint screamer'Ingram started it off by chanting a little ditty which must ave taken em hours to compose:

Pirate Poofters, Pirate Poofters, Hello, Hello...

I looked round worried cos I was the only team member at the bar and as luck would ave it I was wearin my Piratica World Cup Final Runner up medal!!!!

It got worse when Jake 'Cleanup yer puke' Mutton came over and knocked my tankard o grog over on purpose sayin: "What ye goin to do about that, ye wooden legged git?"

Things were lookin uglier still when Erik 'Skol-up' Nordstrum came up and said: SKOL, SKOL, SKOL, SKOL! very threateningly indeed.

But I'd been in tighter corners than this on my adventures on the open seas.  Quick as a flash I shouted: 'BRENDA, customers fer ye...I thinks the Dribblin Parrot will be nursin a few injuries for the match!

[Griffin NoName]

Dear LandlubberLord

Can ye reserve a secluded table fer meself an a loverly lady named Mildred. She bin offered a free lunch by Scumsoft. Oi ope ye can confirm this.

Yours respectfully and oping ter ear from yer

Arthur Three-Sheds Senior

[The Black Spot]

Dear Mr Three-Sheds,

I has a perfect table fer Mildred an yerself.

It be in a lovely candlelit alcove near the back o' the pub.

I've recently 'ad a new door put on the toilets so the smell shouldn't be too bad.

Your genial landlord,

Cap'n Tom Dillon

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR it was concernin me why the Admiral Benbow had a similar level and feel of interior design as Ye Redde Cowwe...the rotting straw and sawdust floor covering, the authentic Old Sea Dog stench emanatin from the kitchens, the peculiarily rustic taste o the grog and even the 'Henry Kelly appearin here!' posters...now the Black Spot has made it all clear: both Taverns be run by that penny pinchin Old Sea Dog: Capn Tom Dillan!!

YYYAAARRRR we've been waitin fer Henry kelly to turn up for four years!!!

Marvellous!