Finish the Pirate Headlines

[Black Bart]

Polymath pirates in Parrot Speach Outrage , Swato's  beard drops off in shock.

Fears that the 'Axis of Weevil' could spread it's corrupting influence to Portsmouth sparks mass *******.

[pieces o nine]

Fears that the 'Axis of Weevil' could spread it's corrupting influence to Portsmouth sparks mass enlistment stampede.


The Axis of Weevil Throws its Cap into the Rung for Upcoming * * * * * Elections.

[Bluenose]

The Axis of Weevil Throws its Cap into the Rung for Upcoming Step Ladder Hat Elections.


Upsurge Of Ladders With Hats Blamed On * * * * *

[pieces o nine]

Upsurge Of Ladders With Hats Blamed On PoN's Deplorable Spelling


Local Hardware Store Inundated with Stepladder Returns as Fickle Populace Turns Its Attention to * * * * *

[Pachyderm]

Local Hardware Store Inundated with Stepladder Returns as Fickle Populace Turns Its Attention to Slug Racing


*********** banninated fom city environs as Slug Grand National nears.

[Griffin NoName]

Slug Fanciers banninated fom city environs as Slug Grand National nears.

Bluenose arrested for distributing illegal*************** outside hardware stores

[Bluenose]

Bluenose arrested for distributing illegal snail baits outside hardware stores



Slug Grand National under threat from ***************

[pieces o nine]

Slug Grand National under threat from stale beer dumped outside the local pubs.


Slug Grand National Judges Strike Back With * * * * * .

[Black Bart]

This whole slug thing has reminded me that I buried a 'beer' slug trap in the garden way back in the summer!!!!  Those slugs must be well and truly Brahms and List by now!!!

Slug Grand National Judges Strike Back With new Lemon and Slime drink .

Drunken Slugs terrorize local community with their ******

[beagle]

Drunken Slugs terrorize local community with their breakdancing

Tired and emotional Bart falls in own trap and is anointed **** by drunken slugs.

[pieces o nine]

Tired and emotional Bart falls in own trap and is anointed Grand Maggot by drunken slugs.


Long-Winded Tales o'the Ocean on Hiatus as Cap'n Bart * * * * * an Avatar Celebrating His New Status

[beagle]

Long-Winded Tales o'the Ocean on Hiatus as Cap'n Bart chokes on an Avatar Celebrating His New Status

Leading surgeons baffled as to whether to use tweezers or a ***** in avatarectomy. Boiling pitch on standby. 

[Griffin NoName]

Leading surgeons baffled as to whether to use tweezers or a knitting needle in avatarectomy. Boiling pitch on standby. 


Beagle falls in boiling pitch mistaking it for ***********

[Black Bart]

Beagle falls in boiling pitch mistaking it for a cold Fish Head Stew Plunge Pool at his local David Lloyd Centre.

Off topic: Grand Maggot...I like it.

Hall of the Mountain King in Full Orchestra heard emanating from the basement of the Admiral Benbow, Grand Maggot suspected to be holding a ********

[beagle]

Hall of the Mountain King in Full Orchestra heard emanating from the basement of the Admiral Benbow, Grand Maggot suspected to be holding a Peer Gynt themed "goodbye to Beagle" celebratory roller disco .

Bart quoted as being as happy as a dog with two *****.