Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

[Pachyderm]

Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

Common Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as rationality became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

[Opsa]

Aw, look at him. Don't he look natural.

I knew him back before "Men of God" were protected by their religion after sexually assaulting minors. But even then you could tell he wasn't at all well...

[anthrobabe]

I remember seeing the poor fella at the Federal civil Suit of Roy Clendinen vs Mohawk State Prison in New York--- he looked a bit pale and staggered a bit when he stood up.

(Roy Clendinen-prisoner- sued because his ice cream was melted-ultimately dismissed but at what cost)

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Poor guy. This was a needless death.

We at least can keep his ideals alive.

[beagle]

Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

I knew your writing style was familiar. You're the Telegraph editorial writer aren't you?

[Pachyderm]

Nope. That would imply I had a job. I'm a scruffy, tax-dodging student.

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Aw, look at him. Don't he look natural.

I knew him back before "Men of God" were protected by their religion after sexually assaulting minors. But even then you could tell he wasn't at all well...

NO ! He's just napping.

[pieces o nine]

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

I heard WBC was going to picket the funeral.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

As Ben Franklin once said,

"Common sense is neither common, nor sensical".

[beagle]

Nope. That would imply I had a job. I'm a scruffy, tax-dodging student.

Good grief. Do they let just anybody in here these days? Must have a word with the club secretary.

Actually the tax-dodging bit is probably Telegraph approved. As long as it's avoidance rather than evasion.

[Pachyderm]

Well, I suppose further education is a accepted method of tax avoidance. What I haven't told them about is my plan to emigrate the moment I receive confirmation I've passed....

[Sibling Chatty]

We'll leave the lights on for you...

[Griffin NoName]

Well, I suppose further education is a accepted method of tax avoidance. What I haven't told them about is my plan to emigrate the moment I receive confirmation I've passed....

Well that shouldn't be a problem given UK trained doctors can't get jobs here and they cost ooddles to train

[beagle]

Well, I suppose further education is a accepted method of tax avoidance. What I haven't told them about is my plan to emigrate the moment I receive confirmation I've passed....

What?  You'll  miss out on shariah law and transformation of the whole place into euro-sub-region-7.

[Griffin NoName]

Talking of Sharia law, there's a court case about to happen about getting married over the telephone becoming legal