The Last Post Game!!!!

[Griffin]

Nowdays they could be dropped by drones onto the top of mountains. A useful commercial venture perhaps.

Last _{I have just arranged and paid for my funeral service*} Post

*but not the cars or flowers

[Swatopluk]

Have you also sold the TV rights to recoup part of the costs? 
But you'd have to present some spectacular stunt, of course, to stand out of the crowd.
---
Full body or cremation? Traditional cemetery or e.g. under the roots of a tree or at sea?

Last ^{I guess/assume you are not the type for outer space or having your ashes pressed into a diamond.} Post
           

[Griffin]

Cremation. Back to dust. Don't want worms feeding on me, or to be dug up in 2306.

The service will be at a crematorium. I have told my son he can do anything he likes with my ashes. There are companies that will fill a rocket firework with your ashes and launch it into space.  https://fullcirclefunerals.co.uk/product/ashes-into-rockets-self-fire-fireworks/

Ill health is stalking me again. I have Small Vessel Disease (CSVD)in my brain stem (narrowed vessels) which has caused damage to my balance control. This is why I have been falling over (backwards) for the last few years. It raises the risk of heart attack and stroke and is the main cause of Vascular Dementia. I have to go on blood thinners. I am not pleased. Plus, they spotted a tumour in my Parotid Gland (in the neck, it does saliva) and want a biopsy. Again, not pleased.Lost track of the time I have spent getting this all diagnosed.

Last _{I am glad I booked my funeral}  Post

[Swatopluk]

Time to sing the medical love song (Monty Python) or Aeger Sum (Knorkator)?
While we are at it: Have you decided on your funeral music also?
I assume Siegfried's Death would not be your style 
This is a bit more lighthearted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_egPlYIXKYQ
This on the other hand is the ultimate tearjerker for me in combination with the animation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_egPlYIXKYQ (yes, this makes me literally cry every time).

But be careful with the ashes. Resurrection from them is an old trope.

Last _{vampire has some appeal, Charles Dexter Ward less so} Post

[Aggie]

I may very well be deposited near the top of a mountaintop (likely a moderate drop below the top) at time of death, and subject to unintentional sky burial.

I told my friends recently to not feel bad if, due to some misadventure, I was found mostly consumed by animals (preferably after death). I've taken enough from the environment so my body might as well be put to good use. I pray not to die at work or in a mechanized accident. I'd rather go out with grizzly teeth in my skull than crushed against a steering wheel in a car wreck.  Worst case scenario is dying in my sleep. I want to be there to face it.

Likely outcome is cremation but I don't particularly care. The firework option has some attraction just in terms of dispersal over a wide area, but release from a mountain on a windy day would work, too. Given enough resources I'd fancy some sort of artificial fossilization process so I could be dug up in a few million years, or more realistically I'd construct some sort of burial mound for at least a few thousand years of persistence on the land, but rotting in the bush would be just fine if legal.

Ill health is stalking me again. I have Small Vessel Disease (CSVD)in my brain stem (narrowed vessels) which has caused damage to my balance control. This is why I have been falling over (backwards) for the last few years. It raises the risk of heart attack and stroke and is the main cause of Vascular Dementia. I have to go on blood thinners. I am not pleased. Plus, they spotted a tumour in my Parotid Gland (in the neck, it does saliva) and want a biopsy. Again, not pleased.Lost track of the time I have spent getting this all diagnosed.

Sorry to hear about these developments, Griffin. Hopefully a growth in the parotid doesn't mean overproduction of saliva? I suppose it's good that they've spotted it, despite the pain of a biopsy.

Last _{O Death, won't you spare us over for another year?} Post

[Swatopluk]

And this is the song especially made for sky burials
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzlA5A9hvRI

(Translation below the German text)

Wenn ich einmal tot bin und kalt
Der Körper müde und alt
Oder jung. Das was geschah
War nicht das, was erwartet war
Das Leben ist aus, vorbei
Macht keinen Krach, macht kein Geschrei

Gebt meinen Körper den Raben
Dass die Raben was zu nagen haben
Fleischstückchen, die sie ihren Kindern bringen
Und dazu sollt ihr Choräle singen

Meine Augen, mein weißer Nacken
Darin sollen die Raben hacken
Gebt mich den Raben
Dass sie was haben
Dass sie was kriegen
Worauf sie fliegen
Bloß kein Entsetzen
Wenn sie sich setzen
Ihr sollt mich nicht verbrennen, nicht vergraben
Gebt meinen Körper, gebt ihn den Raben

Spoken:
Nasenspitze, kleiner süßer Daumen
Geöffneter Mund, ein Stückchen vom Gaumen
Wangenfleisch

Und singt, singt Choräle

Der eine Rabe hackt die Kehle
Der and're hackt in das Bein ein Loch
Und ihr singt, ihr singt immer noch

Wenn ich tot bin, nicht mehr am Leben
Sollt ihr mich den Raben geben
Brust und Bauch und dicker, fetter Zeh
Einer Leiche tut das nicht weh
Vergesst, dass es mich gegeben hat
Ich bin tot und die Raben werden satt

So hab' ich gelebt und im Tode noch
Hacken mir Raben in das Bein ein Loch
So hab' ich gelebt, gelebt
So hab' ich gelebt, gelebt
Ich will, dass ihr mich den Raben gebt

Ich will, dass ihr mich den Raben gebt

Text: Friedhelm Kändler
Musik: Andreas N. Tarkmann

Once I'm dead and cold
The body tired and old
Or young. What happened
Wasn't what was expected
Life is over, over
Don't make a noise, don't make a fuss

Give my body to the ravens
That the ravens have something to gnaw
Pieces of meat they'll bring to their children
And you should sing chorales!

My eyes, my white neck
In it the ravens shall hack
Give me to the ravens
That they have something
That they get something
What they fly on (i.e. something they really like)
Just no horror (= don't be horrified)
When they sit down (to eat)
You shouldn't burn me, don't bury me
Give my body, give it to the ravens

Spoken:
Nasal tip, little sweet thumb
Open mouth, a piece of the palate
Cheek

And (you) sing, sing chorales!

One raven chops the throat
the other chops a hole into the leg
And you are singing, you are still singing

When I'm dead, no longer alive
You should give me to the ravens
Chest and belly and thick, fat toe
It doesn't hurt a corpse
Forget that I was (that I existed)
I'm dead and the ravens are getting their full

So I lived and still in death
Ravens hack a hole into my leg
That's how I lived, lived
That's how I lived, lived
I want you to give me to the ravens

I want you to give me to the ravens

Text: Friedhelm K trader
(Translation by google translator with some quick edits/corrections by me)
Music: Andreas N. Tarkmann

[Aphos]

Last _Nevermore! Post

[Swatopluk]

Ravens seem to be popular song birds (i.e. birds to write songs about).

In the West Twa Corbies seems to be the model, in the East Черный ворон (Chernyy voron, Black Raven). So, from the bird's perspective in the former and the victim's in the latter.

Last Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Griffin, I'm sorry about your ailments. Hopefully you're better now (it's been a while).
---
I was listening to a podcast about skyburials in India and there was big problem with vultures in India and Pakistan. The drug they used for arthritis in cows was killing the vultures. They stopped using it but it may take years for the vultures to recover.

Last _{I want an sky burial myself, but I doubt my son will allow it} Post

[Swatopluk]

That somehow reminds me of an old joke article about health authorities advising cannibals against eating USians (and to a lesser degree other Westerners) because of high levels of heavy metals, PCBs and unsaturated fats.

Last _{un-lean meat is unhealthy to begin with} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I doubt you're average American would pass a USDA valuation.

Last _{dunno how much mercury you guys have in Germany with all the coal burned} Post

[Swatopluk]

US coal and German coal are a bit different as far as mercury is concerned. The standard filters work quite well on German coal but not on US coal, i.e. it's easier to strip most of the mercury from the exhaust over here. Plus, over here those filters are mandatory while there are deliberately large loopholes in US laws allowing companies to avoid installing them in the first place.

Last _{The main source for mercury intake for the average German citizen are probably dental fillings} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

The main source for mercury intake for the average German citizen are probably dental fillings

That depends on how popular sushi is for you guys.

Last _{metallic pleasure} Post

[Swatopluk]

My bet is still on the fillings, at least to-day.
And when we had a problem with mercury in fish (decades ago) fish was not as popular -
although cantinas still traditionally serve fish on Fridays (as an option)

Last _{concerning fish I fear microorganisms more than heavy metals} Post

[Griffin]

Sorry to hear about these developments, Griffin. Hopefully a growth in the parotid doesn't mean overproduction of saliva? I suppose it's good that they've spotted it, despite the pain of a biopsy.

I have dry mouth and eyes, but I don't think there's a connection.

Griffin, I'm sorry about your ailments. Hopefully you're better now (it's been a while).

Balance control is permanent damage. In fact since I last posted it has got worse. I am having serious falls (backwards) nearly every day. Also my legs are like jelly and tremble and just walking puts me at risk of falling. I don't know how I am going to cope looking after myself - it is hard to get to the kitchen or bathroom. My place is not designed for wheelchairs.

I've just got an MRI of neck and biopsy of growth in parotid gland booked. It took weeks to get a referral from the GP - NHS is in the most awful mess, it is touch and go if it will survive I think. But MRI/biopsy are via insurance (ie. private, not NHS) so in about 10 days time.

We have a Tory government hiding under the guise of being called the Labour Party. I think it is a disaster. They have taken money away from pensioners who will now have to choose between heat and food. There will be deaths. I find it hard to believe they treat pensioners this way and pretend to be a socialist party.

Last _{Brexit was a huge mistake (and obvious that it would be if we did it) and the poorest people are paying for it}Post