The Continuous Briny Fable

[The Black Spot]

...left...

[DaveL]

...gluteus maximus...

[Black Bart]

...Bart let out a scream and shouted:

"What in the name o Billy Bones hit me?"

Capn H: Twere an apple strudle flyin at about 20 knots, you be lucky to be alive, them Germans know how to make pastry!  I think they'd better keep ye in for hobservation me old matey...I'll just go and check on Pirgella...

Bart: YYYAARRR, ye swab ye be hopin to get your hands on pirgella's...

[Calico Jack]

...Telescope.  Pirgella having taken an interest in astronomy after spending many hours looking up at the stars whilst in the company of Dave L.

You are not having my telescope screamed Pirgella you want to spy on Fifi's wenches and look up their...

[Black Bart]

...phone numbers!

Capn H: YYYAAARRRR ye be right...I've been out o this saucy...er, salty tale for so long I be dying for a bit of...

[The Black Spot]

...a storyline."

From the doorway came a sound like someone tearing a pair of curtains in half.

"That's what you think," said Big Ron. "I got you written out once before, and I can do it again."

"Not this time," said Cap'n H whipping out his...

[Black Bart]

...cosh.  Capn H used to be a fair fightin Pirate but he'd learned to fight dirty in his days as a Ice Cream seller in Jamaica.
Big Ron always carried a length of Black Pudding in his pocket (I'm not sure what the other bulge was) it looked like this was goin to be the biggest fight since 'The Rumble in the Jungle' only this was more like 'The Tumble in Portsmouth'.
'I'll teach ye to turn my Briny Fable into a Carry On' said Capn H and with that he clobbered Ron right in the...

[The Black Spot]

...veal cutlets.

Enraged, Ron swung his black pudding like a madman. He flung a handful on mince into Cap'n H's eye, and smashed his pudding over the Captain's head.

Cap'n H was dazed, but he managed to whack his crutch into Rons ample stomach.

Ron looked up and leered. He knew that Cap'n H came from the days when the Salty Tale/Fable was about daring-do and adventure -- he'd never had to deal with innuendo. Ron played his advantage by reaching out and twisting Cap'n H's...

[Black Bart]

...Rum Flask cork.  The Corked popped catching Capn H right in his...

[The Black Spot]

...map dividers.

"Ye blaggard", yelled Cap'n H. He reached into his pocket and produced a rotary hook attachment which he fitted to his stump.

"No yer don't!" shouted Ron as he pulled out his knackwurst and slammed it into Cap'n H's...

[Griffin NoName]

...repetitive strain injury wot e got from the briny fable repeatin itself.

Just at that moment who should arrive but Peter Rabbit. Oi said Cap'n H, you bin near Mr Mcgregor's cabbages sonny Jim? Peter Rabbit looked startled and lept onto......

[DaveL]

...the table and shouted.

'Dear Pirates, I send a message from one Mr E. Bunny. My master has decreed that any assassination attempt on his or Mr S. Claus shall be regarded as an act of war. Should you persist in firing 256mm supergun shells at us, we will be forced to retaliate.'

But before Peter Rabbit could go on, Big Ron swung his massive salami at...

[Black Bart]

...the innocent lookin young bunny.  To Ron's amazement, however, the rabbit's reactions were lightening quick and he countered Ron's stroke with a razer sharp carrot!  Capn H didn't know who's side to join in on, his fight was with Ron but on the other hand he hated Beatrix Potter stories with a vengance ever since they'd refused him permission to be in 'The Tale of Tom Kitten and the Fish Head Stew'.  His mind was made up by events as the razer sharp carrot caught him square in the...

[Bluenose]

navigation bag, ruining a lovely set of colour by number charts of the West Indies he had been working on for weeks.  He had just got all the dragons and sea serpents coloured in and was about to begin on the compass roses, now it was all in vain.  In a rage Cap'n H grabbed...

[The Black Spot]

... a cauliflower from the bunny's ammo bag and hurled it with great force toward Peter Rabbit and Ron. Cap'n H was in such a fury, that he didn't care who he hit.

The cauliflower ricocheted off a stew barrel and...