The Continuous Briny Fable

[Griffin NoName]

......This last was a particular worry as he was tasked with representing Mr Brattly from Rotherham South and last time Mr Brattly had been to his surgery he had tried to pull out his......

[Black Bart]

(this is a bit like the good old days all those years ago on the place that shall remain nameless but beginnin with a V)

...computer disk full of data from the Home Office review of Portsmouth's Health, Financial details, Sexual habits and Treasure chest locations...unfortunately his hands were still greasy from a big helping of Plum Duff in the Refectory and the disk slipped out of his blubbery hands and flew out of the window.  He stuck his head out of the window just in time to see the disk land on a passing hulk...with a groan of mortification he shouted OH...

[Griffin NoName]

...........Festering Fishcakes!! There goes me 'opes of having the biggest..................

[beagle]

...leak in years.   "Have you seen my floppy?" he called out to a somewhat perturbed looking young sailor on the passing vessel.  "It's about this size" ( he gestured with his hands), "and...

[Griffin NoName]

....thereby dropped the royal charter for abolishing fishing in the harbour that he had been carrying. There was an instant scrum. Several people dived for it at once, unfortunately crashing into his.........

[Black Bart]

..other arm sending yet another data disk flying out the window and into the arms of the now expectant Pirates.

"Yarrrrski said Cap'n Vladimir Ripemoff...let us see vot is on zis disk...ve already have all the financial details and ze verabouts of ze treasure...vot more can zer be to lose?

"I don't belief it Kapitan" said Komputer Officer Scumski...look at ze computer screen it is a compromising video of...

[beagle]

... those politicians we met at that pole-dancing club.  I thought at the time they there was something fishy about them, and that they didn't look Polish.
All the time they were...

[Griffin NoName]

.....passing things to each other under the table. Look, look really carefully and you will see that what you thought was a ............

[Bruder Cuzzen]

...finest iceburg Sal ever laid his eyes upon . He jumped onto the burg , "I claim thee in my name ...Sal !". Sal set about chipping out a grotto with glee , pounding away at the ice and snow .

" What a great tool this is , I could...

[Griffin NoName]

.........use it to pick pearls out of oysters. No sooner had the thought formed in his mind than a gigantic oyster attacked him from behind. He was swallowed whole along with his chipping tool. After about 4 days he began to get hungry and in a deranged frenzy he used his tool to chip his way out of the oyster. Freedom !! But alas, a large walrus was lurking nearby and in the far distance was a carpenter.  May well you ask how it was possible to see it was a carpenter at such a distance, a tall story you are probably thinking but he had the most enormous butt marker ever seen so it was obvious. Just as the walrus began to stir the carpenter arrived and asked how he could be of service, would his enormous butt marker help? They put their heads together and came up with a plan to use his enormous butt marker to........

[Black Bart]

...lure a large ice breaker to their rescue.  (I want to state quite clearly, before there is any unpleasantness, if Moby Dick appears in this story, I'm out!) 

As the ship approached Russian accents could clearly be discerned and one voice rose above the others to say "Zey vill never find the Data Disks here...in ze name of Boris Yeltzin it is cold enough to freeze off your...

[Griffin NoName]

.......Mobius Strips. Unfortunately the crowd misheard and thought the well known star Moby Weatherspoon was about to whip off his............


a marker ~Ed.

[Aphos]

...gloves and play his immensely popular guitar chords.

In the crowd was Phil the Hamster, who had been doing quite well for himself since being stranded by Sal.  With Phil was his new mistress, a petite mouse named Lil.  Lil made extra money by fan dancing on weekends at a nearby rat hole.

Lil was a very big fan of Moby Weatherspoon.  Upon hearing his music she jumped up and showed everyone her...

[Bruder Cuzzen]

...lovely tail , Philly just loved Lil for her tail , he would keep this to himself .He looked at his own tail , " OucH !" , he exclaimed , after touching the hideous angry swelling at end of his tail .
  Phil was indignant from being thrown for a loop by Sal ,"Wroite ! I'll do 'im fer that !
Phil's tail was in bad shape , and he was happy it didn't snap off " Hey Lil  me luv !
C'mer an' 'elp me me wid me ...

[Griffin NoName]

.............blowpipe; I'm going ter get that there Sal where it hurts right in the...................