Simple Jokes Thread

[Swatopluk]

Buckshot would also not be totally inappropriate.
But the first should be birdshot into the behind.

[Aggie]

We should be putting this up as a billboard on our side of every border crossing (censored to remain respectable for anyone outside of Australia):

[Aphos]

I really don't know why Trump would want Canada to be a 51st state.  It would definitely be blue, giving a disadvantage to Republicans in the House, the Senate and running for President.

[Aggie]

Not only that, but we do have our own provinces and territories which are as distinct in culture and political character as US states are, so it would really be the 51 - 63rd states. Alberta would likely vote red*, the rest would likely vote blue*.

My province, the third largest by area and population, is larger than California, Oregon and Washington put together, albeit with only 5 million people in it.

And good luck trying to assimilate Quebec!

A Trumpwar^TM would likely be able to roll through the prairies due to the terrain, sparse population and a more-MAGA-than-average population in Alberta and Saskatchewan, but would find BC a tough and mountainous nut to crack. Given the political alignment of the Left Coast, it's conceivable that a few Pacific states could move their allegiances northward.

Overall, there would be a lot of popular resistance. Canadian identity is defined largely as NOT American... not loud, not rude, not greedy, not power-hungry, not as willing to destroy one's fellow humans and the environment in the scramble to the top (unfortunately, we're not as well-armed, except criminals with smuggled American guns). 


*American color schemes. By Canadian colour schemes, Alberta reliably votes blue (Conservative). I have voted green in the past and lean orange more recently.  I dislike blue team politics; the red team talks a good game but is inevitably corrupt and can't be taken at their word.  The federal greens have melted down in recent years and I wouldn't get anywhere near them.

[Aphos]

Canada could have had the cuisine of France, the culture of England and the know-who of America.

Instead it has the cuisine of England, the know-how of France and the culture of America.

[Swatopluk]

Reminds me of the EU heaven and hell

Heaven:
Cooks from France
Lovers from Italy
Engineers from Germany
Organizers from Switzerland
Policemen from Britain

Hell
Cooks from Britain
Policemen from Germany
Organizers from France
Engineers from Italy
Lovers from Switzerland

[Aggie]

Engineers from Italy

The don't make them like they used to, do they??

[Swatopluk]

The Romans were quite snobbish that they were the creme de la creme of the Latini and had nothing in common with the common Italici.
And in the Renaissance Italy was a pure geographical term (as was Germany for that matter).
And for many Italians 'Italian' is their second language and they do not really identify with the country as a whole (cf. Spain with its secessionist movements). In a sense it is the reversal of antiquity when all Italians wanted to become full Roman citizens (which the Romans did not want). Now they do not want to be Romans because they see Italy as again ruled by Roman snobs.

[Aphos]

Simple joke:  Donald Trump

That's it.  That's all there is.

[Swatopluk]

But missing the punch line.
The line of people to punch him that is.

[Aggie]

I think there's quite a lineup now..

But it's not a funny joke. It may be a killing joke.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

The joke to kill and get killed...

[Swatopluk]

Historians are now obliged to change their name to Victor since history is exclusively written by the victors.

[Griffin]

It's a very bad joke. It's also very simple. It's like a giant with large feet striding around the world squelching all the lands underfoot. That one man should have this much power is always frightening. Nothing good will come of it. (my simple prediction).

[Swatopluk]

The moldy oldy about the art thieves who were caught because they didn't have enough Monet to buy Degas to make the getaway Van Gogh.