Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[The Meromorph]

Oh dear, perhaps I'm still affected by that Cap'n's Deloit?
I do hope I haven't offended anyone of any consequence...

[Opsa]

Dear dear, Pachy. I was only making a very poor joke about rogue elephants. I meant no harm and I'm awfully sorry to have caused offense. Bad me! Do come out of that locker, won't you please, and rejoin the party? I do so hate to see Lord Mero looking crestfallen and Sir Dave's freshly laundered handkerchief all sullied on the deck. And I don't even know where Pieces has got to.

[Pachyderm]

Is that pirate feller still around? If so, meself , the hounds, and the port are quite comfortable, dontcher know. Best thing is, passing to the left just means switching hands.......

[pieces o nine]

Ai say, there is such an awful brouhahaha, one can barely keep the rogue pirates -- rapidly advancing upon one and one's companions, one might add -- in focus in one's opera glasses!


* languidly extends cognac glass, at a rakish angle, in general direction of bottles being passed around *


Ai say! What *does* a lady have to do for a drink around here?


* abruptly refocuses opera glasses, mid-giggle, towards the advancing pirates *

[Opsa]

Well, where did that Captain's Delight get to? That hit the spot.

_{And I won't say which spot that was!}

[The Meromorph]

Ahh! That's what it's called, eh?

I suggest we set out a row of open bottles of this Captain's Delight, right where these pirate chappies are going to board...

That should give the footmen a chance to pitch the blighters back overboard, even allow the Ladies to take appropriate measures, what? 

[Opsa]

Teddibly clever idea, Lord Mero, you foxy swain, you!

[pieces o nine]

Mero, you are such a tease!

Opsa, dear, I've dispatched the ladies' maid to fetch sewing kits. How else might we 'take measures' with the oncoming pirates, eh, what?

* winks conspiratorially and takes another nip of whatever is sloshing about in the cognac glass *

[Pachyderm]

Leave open bottles? Is that allowed? Let's just pitch the empties overboard. Would make the decks easier to walk along, too.

Can I offer the services of a chappie I met in the Sub-continent. Name's Yogendra Singh Yadav. Very handy chap in a tight spot...

[Opsa]

Oh dear yes, the more the merrier!

Now, whom are we sizing up, now?

[pieces o nine]

I suggest we set out a row of open bottles of this Captain's Delight, right where these pirate chappies are going to board...

That should give the footmen a chance to pitch the blighters back overboard, even allow the Ladies to take appropriate measures, what? 

[Bluenose]

*sotto voce* _{I say, Lord Pachy, the ladies are looking at that pirate fellow with a certain ferocity, don'tcha think?}

[Pachyderm]

Eh, wassat?

*sotto voce*

Gads, Blue old chap, yer right. They are looking downright predatory, what? I'd say that chappie is on the list fer a damn good thrashin'.

[Bluenose]

*sotto voce*

_{Well, if it turns out to be that dastardly Captain Bluenose chap, a thrashing might not discourage him - I hear he enjoys that sort of thing, the rum fellow.}

I say!  That pirate ship is getting awfully close!

[Pachyderm]

*sotto voce*

If he likes a good thrashing, he may well have gone to the same school as me. Matron plied a mighty right arm, as I well remember

*shouts across*
"Ai sai, old boy, you wouldn't happen to have a bottle of Angostura bitters on board by any chance. It's just we're out, you see, and you simply can't make a jolly old pink gin without it. And, as every right-thinkin' nautical cove will tell you, one simply can't set sail without a Harry Pinkers in yer hand"