Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[Opsa]

Maybe if we sprinkle a trail of rum out through the back gates he'll follow it.

[pieces o nine]

Egads, Lady Opsa!  Talk about ["air quotes"] alcohol abuse [/"air quotes"] !

* titters *

[Opsa]

By jove you're right, Lady Pieces. Obviously I wasn't thinking straight.

Send Jeeves out for some cheaper rum. We can use that.

[Sibling DavidH]

(In my Jeeves voice)

I regret to inform madam that rum is not obtainable more cheaply than our present supply, which was syphoned out of the barrel that carried Lord Nelson's corpse in 1805.

[pieces o nine]

* rolls long-suffering -- yet still limpid -- eyes at Jeeves' cheek *


* also behind his back *

[anthrobabe]

Sorry I over slept---- too much of that industrial strength rum and such in early celebration.

[Opsa]

Don't mind Jeeves, he simply doesn't understand the subtle discrepancies between value and quality. Yes, our ancestors obtained the rum through rustic means, but it is exemplary rum and therefore not to be poured upon the pea-gravel. At least not before ingestion. Please. We're civilized, here.

However, it does give one pause... perhaps a person of piratical talents might be an asset to us in obtaining more loot substance for our wherewithal. Of course, he would have to go through a vigorous screening  process.

[pieces o nine]

^ Ripping good suggestion!  While one is enchanted with the concept of a really rigorous screening, one would also settle for an aspirant with a suitable costume...

My dears!  Our glasses are *empty*!  JEEVES!

[Bluenose]

Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!
Now ware did all them 'lubbers go?  Oi were jest hopin' they moight be hinterested in sum o' this 'ere Capain's Deloight XO (Speshul Reserve) wot Oi brung 'ere real quick loike after knockin it off, ahem, acquirin' it from me ole mates at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Distillery.  Looks loike Oi'll hafta jest sit 'ere next ter this sanstone gate house and drink it all meself!

My word, Lady Opsa!  What on Earth was that blood curdling sound coming from down the driveway?  Should we form one of those possie thingumajigs thos damn Yankies seem so fond of to go and investigate?

[Opsa]

Well, I suppose we shall have to, shan't we? Maybe we should go by horseback. Just give me twenty minutes to get into my jodhpurs, will you? I never ride without my jodhpurs. Wouldn't be ladylike.

You go first, Lord Blue. You can wield that heavy walking stick with the brass rhino head. Wield it at him! That'll show him a thing or two, I dare say!

[Bluenose]

I say, Lady Opsa, who'd have thought it would take nearly a whole year to go down to the gate house and back, eh what?

And what was that beastly man rambling on about?  Something about "tawk loyka poiritday" or some such rubbish.  Oh well, never mind, fancy a Pimms?

[Opsa]

Don't mind if I do. Especially since it's been a whole year. Thank you, Lord Blue. Goodness, but I'm parched.

[Bluenose]

There you go, my dear and I've managed to rustle up a plate of cucumber sandwiches, what fun, eh?

[pieces o nine]

* sees a crust left on one of the cucumber sandwiches *

* faints *

[Opsa]

Good heavens! Please avert your eyes, Lord Blue, while I loosen Lady Piece's bodice. She seems to be in desperate need of lung expansion at the moment. And be a dove and toss that crust to the urchins on the other side of the garden wall. We all know they're out there.