Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[pieces o nine]

Thank you for the pink gin, Pachy. One has always been loyal to HRH's Bombay Sapphire until now... one says, one doesn't quite recognize one wave from the next...


One idly wonders whether we have been the unwitting victims of a "missing time" incident? These demmed "missing time" incidents have been all the rage lately, according to the local papers, what?

[Pachyderm]

Oh, don't worry Milady. 'Tis Bombay Sapphire, never fear. And Angostura Bitters fer the pink.

Yes, this missing time malarkey seem to be all the rage. Went round to Gareth's place on Friday, next thing I knew it was Monday morning! Some fiend had pinched me week-end!

[Opsa]

Oh goody. I do so enjoy being with the avant garde. Let's have a mad, mad tea party (gin, of course) and invite all the aliens and everyone else will be green with envy. How shall we contact them? Crop circles seem so declasse...

[pieces o nine]

"Can one create wave  circles?"  she asked a bit tipsily.

[Opsa]

Do you mean we'd stand in a circle and wave at them? Gosh, no. That'd scare them to death. They're more used to us threatening them with missiles and the like.

[Bluenose]

I really must object, good sirs and ladies.  Those aliens are simply beyond the pale.  I mean, just last week I went into my local public house for a little light refreshment and next thing I know it was the next morning - those darstardly aliens had abducted me, emptied my pockets of all my money and conducted fiendish experiments on me by filling my blood up with alcohol - amd I have absolutely no recollection of the time in between!

[pieces o nine]

That sounds awful! One hopes such a scarring experience will not put you off patronizing your local pub when we return from this endless whimsical cruise!

[Opsa]

Confound it- where are we, anyway?

[Pachyderm]

We are here, Lady T, just where we should be. Within arm's reach of the gin.

[Opsa]

Eau, thanks heavens. I was feeling a bit- oriented there for a moment. Be a good fellow and pour us a splash, won't you dear?

[Pachyderm]

"Mais naturellement, ma cherie."

*passes Lady T a gin*

"Anyone else for a top-up?"

[pieces o nine]

* passes glass *

[Opsa]

If we have many more top-ups we could wind up with our tops down, Lady Nine! HAW-haw-haw...

[Bluenose]

I say, Pachy old bean, you wouldn't care to pass the Bombay Saphire over in this direction by any chance, would you old chum?

[Opsa]

Dear, dear, the fellows seem to be passing that back and forth from one another and leaving ladies out of the running completely, Nine. Maybe we should send for some cheeses.


_{...er... Nine...?}