The All New PlayBilge Magazine

[Black Bart]

Sorry, I though Dave said a Big Asp!

[DaveL]

Ooops slight slip of the tongue there Bart! Oi thinks Oi meant to say Big Aspen

[DaveL]

Oi quite likes this one

[Black Bart]

If ye don't put up yer photo o Miss May soon...she'll be Miss Mayn't!

[DaveL]

MISS MAY

Name: Ally McWench

Occupation: Free lance entertainer of the night

Likes: Meeting up after dark, Dimly lit areas.

Dislikes: Madame Fifi who booted her out, after she was found running a rival enterprise called 'Ally Cats'

Where will you be in 5 years? I'd like to think my services are complimentary to those offered by Fifi. I'm hopin me busines will grow.

Not all us girls are petite, pretty and capable of doin the 'can-can'. It's amazin' how Portsmouth's darker-lit spots can facilitate some negotiable affection.

[Black Bart]

YYYYAAAARRRRGH!

I wish I'd kept me mouth shut now!

[DaveL]

YArrr, Oi thinks she looks a bit like Brenda m'self.
Never met her though 

[DaveL]

MISS JUNE



Name: Miss Tatiana

Occupation: Professional Dugong/Manatee Impersonator

Likes: Fishy Looking Types, Fancy Seaweed Restaurants

Dislikes: Being out of water for >3 minutes, My current limb arrangement, Deepnet fishing trawlers

Where will you be in 5 years? If the Japanese fleet don't get me, hanging out in Portsmouth Harbour looking for some decent limbs.

[Black Bart]

AAAARRRRRRRR...Mermaids be very frustratin to a red blooded pirate loik me...ye don't know whether to try to make love to em or to chop their head off an throw it in the stew!!!!

[Griffin NoName]

How distasteful This brings up a number of other possibilities. I feel my mind is being polluted by the contributers to this unpopular magazine.

Lord Cap'n Treadmill-Whitehouse

[Aggie]

AAAARRRRRRRR...Mermaids be very frustratin to a red blooded pirate loik me...ye don't know whether to try to make love to em or to chop their head off an throw it in the stew!!!!

Aye, their heads don't be fish-heads and their tails...

Bart, ye needs a reversed mermaid!

[Swatopluk]

Hm, there was that underwater episode of Futurama

[Black Bart]

Bart, ye needs a reversed mermaid!

GGGGAAARRRRR...that aint helped me Mermaid Fantasy one bit!

[DaveL]

Yarrrr...

Oi feel sorry for the male dugongs and manatees comin into mating season. Their mating calls have no hope of snaggin' the likes of Miss Tatiana.

First yer have to impress her wif yer big trident. Then yer have to wine her and dine her at some fancy sushi joint.

Speakin of limbs what happens if your a Mer-man? Wouldn't your aerodynamics in 'a certain region' make swimmin' a bit difficult?

[Swatopluk]

Retractable as with many other mammals (e.g. whales).