while do the 'lucky ones' keep tormenting me????

[stellinacadente]

you siblings all know what happened last thursday, for those who don't I got sacked...

as if that wasn't bad enough now I have to endure the constant bugging of people who did keep their job and now are trying to tell me that it's not that bad really... come on, I will find another job in no time... many company will pay for my relocation....

if it wasn't out of good manners, I would just tell them to shut the f@$k up, thank their gods (whatever they may be) and leave me the hell alone!!!!!

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Certain people have a misplaced sense of eloquence when they're not affected directly by a particular problem, and are rarely able to realize how futile and upsetting their words are. You'll find them almost everywhere, saying that it will be OK, not so much to reassure the victim of misfortune but to reassure themselves that nothing bad will happen to them. Some will go the extra mile to say how their g*d, their "brilliant planning", or their supposed competency kept them out of trouble, and how if everybody were like them nothing bad would have happened.

It is useless to let them upset you, they are background noise and quite likely they'll be a distant memory soon enough.
---
But if you want to shut them up quickly there is a perfect way:

"Is there any specific way you can help me get another job?"

[anthrobabe]

First of all I am terribly sorry that this has happened to you.

I agree that they are background noise and will fade into obscurity over time- they are also gold plated smeg heads!
It must be along the lines of people who try and say 'nice' things at funerals- they are clueless and are simply in terror of the same thing happening to them.

Hang on tight- batten down the hatches- makes me wish this were a real brick and mortar place so that you and your daughter could truly come home to ride it out.

We are here and support you and know how scared you must be right now.

[Bluenose]

Stelli, I feel your pain.  I have had my position "made redundant" twice, in different companies.  We came very close to disaster the first time and it was very scary.  I agree with AB, it's a pity this is not a physical sanctuary, but know that you can share with us any of your troubles, maybe just knowing that someone else will listen wthout judging may help you cope.

As you batten down the hatches to weather the storm until you find your next job, just remember that we're in there with you bailing as fast as we can, if only metaphorically.  It was my experience that being made redundant the second time opened me up to some significant opportunites.  Now i work for myself, I am not dependednt on one source of income and although the business is not yet full time and money is still pretty tight, i can see the way ahead looking smoother and more secure.  i think sometimes we really do need to be shoved way out of our comfort zones to be able to see the best things to do.  I cannot promise everything will be OK, of course not.  But it is surpriing how often things like this can turn out for the best, if we are able to just see it that way.  I sincerely hope it does so for you.  We're all behind you Stelli.  If you need to talk about anything, this is the place.

[Griffin NoName]

stelli - it's horrid and people can be horrid. We are here for you, though that is not the total answer !

Re the specific of people's responses - all the truisms are, well, true.

If you get a life threatening illness, some friends will never speak to you again, many will say the most totally inappropriate things possible, and a few will understand. Trust the few and ignore the rest if unable to educate them fast.

It's like....

If you are female, and you get divorced, many married friends will shun you (although the wives may arrange to meet you one-to-one, and if you happen to bump into a husband they may well misunderstand your intentions - (whereas your ex will be invited for meals as per usual - presumably because he may not be able to feed himself).  People you know will actually cross the road to avoid you. Bla, bla, bla, I could go on but it is tedious.

When you are made redundant, your sister will say "I'm surprised they kept you so long".

I think the main point is that with every disaster one discovers more about human vagaries.

Here are my tips:

1. Turn up your laughter button.

laughter really does help and these kinds of people do tend to say things which if you saw them as stand-up comedy would be obviously laughable.

2. Work out who is "good" for you and spend more time with them and less or no time with the others. It doesn't help to be dragged down further than you already feel.

3. Campaign for Emotional Intelligence to be taught in schools.

[Sibling Chatty]

If it's people still working in the place that let you go, they're doing what's called "whistling past the graveyard".

It CANNOT be bad for you, because THAT means that later on, when THEY lose their job, it will be WORSE for them. It's an emotional trick they're playing on themselves, you're just a prop in it.

Ask them if they're going to cover your childcare expenses while you job-seek, or if they'll be making your January rent payment. They generally shut the hell up real fast.

[stellinacadente]

LOL guys... you really put me in a very good mood with these posts...

thru your words I have proof that it's not me being grumpy, but other people being insensitive...

to be honest... I am very sorry I have lost my income, but I am not sorry I have lost this job...

I was moved to that group just a month ago and they made all the fuss and trouble they could for me from the very beginning...

(the Project Management Office of this company seemed to me to be just a huge stage for people to perform for VP or CEO)

so I am not unhappy I do not work with them anymore... to be honest I was 'serving my time' of six months (mandatory) before moving back to my old department...

I am not desperate (now that the initial shock has passed) and I am sure that the Goddess has something much better in store for me... I just have to keep my head up high and hang on tight until I get there

thank you all siblings for your kind words!

[pieces o nine]

Stelli, another way to deal with someone who just will not shut up  about all the "great opportunities" just waiting  out there which you will now have time to find; about how there is a plan for all things; about how "you'll see that this will be for the best"; as nauseum...

...smile brightly and ask in a clear and carrying voice if they've submitted their own resignations in order to personally take advantage of all the great opportunities  that are just waiting to be picked off now...

Such persons will never pester you again.