Toadfish Monastery

Open Water => Fun and Games => Games and Jokes => Topic started by: Griffin NoName on March 28, 2009, 12:49:01 PM

Title: The Opposites Game
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 28, 2009, 12:49:01 PM
Courtesy of Brit TV program Genius.

What is the opposite of a knife?   

Glue.

Explanation:  a knife cuts things into pieces - glue  fastens pieces back together again.


Specifiy an item. Analyse its function. Suggest an item which performs the opposite function.


Spoon.  The opposite of spoon is a spoon - hence spoon is  a primary opposite.

Explanation:  To move liquid from bowl to mouth. Or, to move liquid from mouth to bowl. Hence Primary.


Also a website which predates the TV show I just saw. http://www.oppo-site.com/
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on March 30, 2009, 09:34:21 PM
I think I'm confused as to where to go with this. Should I specify an item and then let the next person suggest an opposite and another item or what?

Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Scriblerus the Philosophe on March 31, 2009, 05:51:10 AM
I'm going with that.

Mushroom.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 31, 2009, 07:34:52 PM

That's a bit difficult. Do mushrooms actually have a function?
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on March 31, 2009, 07:44:33 PM
Mushroom.  Something that sits in the dark and eats ****.

Opposite:  Motivational speaker.  One who stands in the spotlight and speaks ****.




Widget.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: beagle on March 31, 2009, 08:12:46 PM
Widget:   Small useful thing.


Opposite:  Universe.  Large useless thing.




Minister.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: The Meromorph on April 01, 2009, 02:37:40 AM
Minister: A source of hot air.

Air conditioning: A source of cold air.

Pomegranate.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 01, 2009, 02:48:49 AM
Pomegranate.  Fruit with lots of seeds.

The Village People.  Seedy with lots of fruits.



Minesweeper.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Pachyderm on April 01, 2009, 11:39:47 AM
Minesweeper: Someone in a pub who systematically empties the glasses of others.

Barstaff: Someone in a pub who systematically fills the glasses of others.


Stapler
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on April 01, 2009, 05:53:54 PM
Stapler: Something that joins two things together.

Homewrecker: Something that takes two things apart.



Winnie-the-Pooh
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Griffin NoName on April 01, 2009, 07:13:53 PM

Winnie-the-Pooh  : something that makes one feel gooey inside

Opposite:    Axe-Murderer:  something that makes one feel sharp on the outside  (well,ok on the inside too probably but I am ignoring that)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


light bulb
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: The Meromorph on April 01, 2009, 10:16:03 PM
light bulb: something that provides illumination without wisdom.

magic eight ball: something that provides wisdom without illumination.



Medicine Wheel
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on April 02, 2009, 07:09:41 PM
(Who hath summoned me?  ;) )


Medicine Wheel: A visual aid for finding spiritual balance.

Inebriation: A visual impedient that may result in a loss of balance.


Flower bed
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: goat starer on April 03, 2009, 01:27:58 AM
flower bed - a decorative border

theb israeli secirity fence - an undecorative border (except the bits banksy has been at)




ghost

Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 03, 2009, 01:47:08 AM
ghost - a secret agent under deep cover

Maxwell Smart - a not-so-secret agent



pretzel
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on April 03, 2009, 04:03:57 PM
pretzel: a curly wand that demands that you drink more beer.

breathalyzer: a straight wand that recommends that you stop drinking the beer.



a bowl of cherries
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: beagle on April 03, 2009, 10:21:13 PM

Bowl of cherries:        Still life

opposite

Tsunami:                   Moving death


-------------------

Coin
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Griffin NoName on April 03, 2009, 11:41:30 PM
Coin:  piece of metal with a value

Opposite:   Coin:  piece of metal with no value   ~ Primary   by the time you read this ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robot
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Scriblerus the Philosophe on April 04, 2009, 03:52:15 AM
Robot: a man-made device that can move automatically.

Rock: a natural object that cannot move automatically.
__________________________________________________________
Definition
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 04, 2009, 05:01:39 AM
Definition:  The meaning of a word

Slang:  Demeaning of a word

___________________________



operation
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on April 06, 2009, 05:05:16 PM
operation: surgical procedure

malpractice suit: surgical impediment


rug
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on April 06, 2009, 05:58:55 PM
rug: large piece of fabric over which you walk

upper management: small suit that walks over you
---
goat ;)
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Scriblerus the Philosophe on April 07, 2009, 01:16:25 AM
Goat: stubborn creature and occasionally a socialist.

Cabbage: pliable and easy to strip. Usually capitalist.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Why
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on April 07, 2009, 10:23:30 PM
Why: a nebulous question

42: a specific answer

;D

potato
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 08, 2009, 04:54:50 AM
potato:  something Ireland has a lot of

snake:  something Ireland has none of

___________________________________


dinosaur
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on April 08, 2009, 04:08:04 PM
dinosaur: a mostly terrestrial warm blooded cordate occasionally covered with feathers.

octopus: a marine cold blooded mollusk (non cordate) not covered with scales nor feathers.
--
shell
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 09, 2009, 08:36:09 AM
shell:  a home for a hermit crab

hobo:  a homeless crabby hermit

---------------------------------------------------------

wheel
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Scriblerus the Philosophe on April 09, 2009, 09:55:54 AM
Wheel: round thing usually made of stone, wood, metal, or sometimes cheese.

Cheese: always made of cheese.
____________________________________________________
Ottoman
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 10, 2009, 02:04:52 AM
Ottoman:  a place to park your feet

garage:  a place to park your car

----------------------------------------------------------

philosopher
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Griffin NoName on April 10, 2009, 11:35:07 AM
challenge: garage -  - could be any place to park anything if this line of thinking was pursued -ie nursery - place to park your child - hence this is not the opposite of ottoman but merely an alternative - ....... standards must be maintained, but points for creativity !

;D

Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Scriblerus the Philosophe on April 10, 2009, 06:30:23 PM
Philosopher: Person who thinks for a living

Corporate cog: one who does not.
_________________________________________________________________________
Kung Fu
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on April 10, 2009, 10:18:20 PM
Kung Fu: chinese term for accomplishment through hard work popularized as a martial art.

loser: american term for lack of accomplishment popularized as a pejorative term.
---
teenager
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 11, 2009, 04:49:25 AM
teenager:  an immature human

bull elephant:  a mature non-human

------------------------------------------------------


computer
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: beagle on April 11, 2009, 10:26:26 PM
computer - A device intended to make clergymen redundant by enabling the calculation of logarithm tables by steam.

opposite

Church - a device to keep clergymen employed.

---------------

Bath plug.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: The Meromorph on April 12, 2009, 03:06:08 AM
Bath plug - a device to avoid throwing the baby out with the bath water.


Corporate Reorganization - a device for throwing the baby out with the bath water.


___________________________


constipation
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 12, 2009, 05:01:38 AM
constipation:  plugged up


open drain:  not plugged up

------------------------------------------------



sponge
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: beagle on April 15, 2009, 08:57:36 PM

Sponge   - something you clean the car/automobile with.

opposite

Mud   - something you don't clean the car/automobile with.

--------------


Tardis
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Griffin NoName on April 15, 2009, 09:15:05 PM

Tardis : a container for moving through space-time

Opposite:   Space-Time:  a container for moving through the Tardis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lourdes
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: beagle on April 16, 2009, 08:18:47 PM
Lourdes   - A place where miracles happen (apparently).

opposite

Lords - A place where, though fevently prayed for, they never do.


-----


punctuation
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 19, 2009, 07:14:06 AM
punctuation - marks used to separate words

con - words used to separate marks (from money)

----------------------------------------------------------------------



Labrador
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Scriblerus the Philosophe on April 22, 2009, 08:41:20 PM
Labrador: a dog

Labrador: not a dog
_________________________________________
Chicago
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Aphos on April 26, 2009, 01:26:08 AM
Chicago, the city:  the Windy City

Chicago, the band:  not windy and not a city

-------------------------------------------------------------------



choral
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Swatopluk on April 29, 2009, 12:15:12 PM
choral : many different voices singing in harmony
right-wing media: a few virtually identical voices spreading disharmony that is singing (sin-dsching)
---
lawn mower
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Swatopluk on June 16, 2009, 10:20:21 AM
Hello, no contrarian at home?
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on June 16, 2009, 09:05:36 PM
I'm not a contrarian, I'm not a contrarian!
Okay, just to move things along:


Lawn mower: Something that makes the grass short.

Rain: Something that makes the grass long.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Swatopluk on June 17, 2009, 04:50:17 AM
You forgot to give a new word
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on June 19, 2009, 09:11:39 PM
G'ARRGGGHH!

Sorry.


Tea
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Swatopluk on June 20, 2009, 09:01:08 AM
Tea - leaves that grow in value when allowed to rot
Lobbyist - somebody seeking monetary value by investing in rotten politicians

----

strawberries
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Opsa on June 21, 2009, 05:03:57 PM
strawberries- sweetest when fresh!

bores- even more insufferable when fresh.

***************


beetles
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: The Meromorph on June 21, 2009, 05:10:28 PM
beetles - Often extremely useful to their environment, even essential, but rarely considered beautiful.
butterflies - virtually useless, but universally considered beautiful.

___________________________

motorcycles.
Title: Re: The Opposites Game
Post by: Swatopluk on June 21, 2009, 05:41:45 PM
motorcycles - machines that go as fast as possible in one direction with as much noise as possible
ninjas - humans that move at variable speeds in 3 dimensions with as little noise as possible

----

cheesecake