Cartoons and Pictures From The "Land Of NOMIS"

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Osama's last words to his wife: "You feed the goats and I'll feed the fishes...

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You just opened page 100

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

A momentous occasion indeed.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cartoon/2011/may/03/steve-bell-osama-bin-laden-cartoon

http://blogs.ajc.com/mike-luckovich/2011/05/02/51-cartoon-mike-luckovich-on-osama-bin-laden/

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/06/jon-stewart-mocks-trump-palin_n_858429.html

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http://www.allhatnocattle.net/Copy%20of%20osama_bin_laden-virgins-heaven.jpeg

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[Aphos]

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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not
far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a
day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of
Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside
down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal
with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear,
what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you f@*#*! retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it
wrong.

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Proof That The World Is Nuts!



In  Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense!)

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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different in reverse?)

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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

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The penalty for masturbation in  Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than "going blind!")

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
No golf clubs....I hear a 3 iron works well.

The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

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Topless saleswomen are legal in  Liverpool,  England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)

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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought!)

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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.

(Is this a great country or what?)

(Well, not as great as Guam!)

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)

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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of )

(Did our government pay for this research??)

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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

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And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

      Thank you all for reading this.

           If you need to reach me in the future, I will be in  Guam!!

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[Swatopluk]

http://www.cagle.com/working/110516/sorenson.jpg

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