Towards a better society....

[jjj]

It would be interesting to research, how to rekindle that lost appreciation of young people for wisdom of elders.
Even though they already discovered the two types of oldies (the wise oldies and the old oldies), they should accept the fact that even the latter are able to teach a thing or two. I guess the advent of Internet/ computer age made young people think that wisdom is now freely available on demand. The very thing they got wrong is that without proper guidance raw data might only adds to confusion. In order to get it right a young person cannot do without proper guidance. That's the job of grandparents, as implied/ intended by nature (...if I got that right; you tell me.)
As mentioned, I respect your opinion (or take it into account), but then compare it to my life experiences and then originate, enrich or amend my gained insight. That's how young people should view their personal development, but do they?

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Grammar should be kept as simple as possible as to be accessible to folk of all walks. Grotesque sequences or gross exceptions only complicate a language. There are more important things in life and we shouldn't be bothered by orthographic complexity. That's why we now face difficulties in communication. It's a kind of outdated discrimination tool...
___________
Beside this  (my 2nd hand, idiotic Compaq laptop) drives me nuts. It didn't come with mouse. Albeit I use double-click, often the curser resets itself 'somewhere else'. Often I realize it too late and then have to copy paste or delete and write the lot anew. What to do?

[jjj]

I agree with Aggie there, as well. My childhood was not so great, but it was in observing the bad behavior that I was able to understand what choices to avoid. Of course, knowing which choices to veer toward might have made my way a little easier. On the other hand, struggle is what makes us philosophers.

You obviously struggled yourself the hard way to wisdom! A truly great personal achievement. Congrats!
Yes, you were able/ lucky... but what about the majority of young losers unable to help themselves? That's the failure of our education system; from parents and teachers to politicians. The thing I never comprehend is: For centuries philosophers proclaim great theories and yet, little beneficial for 'humankind (sorry, emancipation) came out of it! It shows that theories are futile and that pragmatic, philosophical wisdom is the driving force of cultural progress. The only ones, having managed to implement their theories, are pious, business organizations and that's why our world is in such a mess and Bush fighting terrorism; instead enjoying tourism.  (Again, please correct me if I'm wrong.)

[Opsa]

Sounds right to me.

One thing that may have helped me is the presence of art in my life. When a kid closes his ears to anything that looks like authority (in my case, warring parents), art can sometimes cut through.

In my case, we had a lot of exposure to the theatrical arts and I was primed to be able to search for and find a message presented in dramatic form. I also had a lot of respect for those in the arts field. My best mentor was the photographer for Arena Stage. At age nineteen, seperated from my way-too-soon husband and at a loss for where to go, this guy gave me a break and hired me as darkroom printer based soley on the way he liked my drawing compositions. He had to teach me the craft! But he taught me much more about self-discipline and respect than I had ever learned from anyone else. I will be forever grateful for that.

It bothers me that in the U.S. the arts are so casually regarded, and sometimes berated as unecessary and elite, when really they play a very important role in communicating on a gut level, a level available to anyone who stops to listen, including losers. A great play has wisdom to teach. It's a wonder that schools do not put more emphasis on being able to receive this sort of wisdom.

[Alpaca]

I agree that arts are casually regarded. The theatre director at my school put it in a way that I think is particularly true - everyone thinks they're an expert at it. That may just be high school theatre, but I'm sure it is reflective in some way of the real world, when some business manager readily admits that he knows nothing about literature or physics, and leaves teachers to do what they're good at, but thinks that he and everyone else in the administration department know how to run a theatre better than the guy who's been doing it his entire career.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

 
In the case of theater I am inclined to think that as almost everybody goes to the movies, they are convinced they 'know' about the stuff  Obviously they would have everybody else watch whatever is that they like and at the same time completely ignore the topics related with the work behind the stage. As they say, everybody is a critic (although a professional critic is normally the guy who was untalented enough to be doing what he is criticizing, be it theater, music, or sports so...).

It is particularly sad that a good number of people in positions of power (be it political or economic) have no knowledge in anything different from making quick money, backstabbing*, and cashing those juicy options if the stock goes up.

*there is an obvious difference between the theatrical backstabbing and real life backstabbing: in the former the public is the first to know.

[Pachyderm]

Also, as well as most people going to the cinema etc, there are lots of amateur dramatic societies, who tend to be quite visible, at least in the smaller communities. I think it takes away a lot of the glamour if you know the bloke playing the romantic lead is your local greengrocer.

This is not to decry the efforts of the am-dram bods. I have been to many excellent productions, and been in a few myself, all of which I enjoyed immensely. 

If people see the afore-mentioned greengrocer giving his all, it tends to lead to "Well, he can do it, therefore so can I", which is not necessarily the case. Your greengrocer might be an undiscovered John Gielgud. (Mine isn't, but she doesn't care...)

Also, in the "quick-fix" world we inhabit, it is possible to become an instant expert in almost any subject, thanks to the interweb. Never mind that people have spent years learning and perfecting their chosen craft, read a dodgy website or two, and Bob's your Auntie's live-in lover.

Bring back the concept of excellence, that's what I say.

[jjj]

One thing that may have helped me is the presence of art in my life.

Yes, artistic creativity is what I learned to appreciate and enjoy, too. It helped me to exchange virtues with total strangers/ tourists I met while busking at Sydney's famous Opera House. Nearly every day I met someone very interested in what I was doing and they longed to interrogate me. They wanted to know how I discovered and developed it etc. in order to equally find their niche.

It was then that almost unwittingly proclaimed my philosophical messages. I even 'sold philosophical consultations' at $2 for15 min., next to Tarot readers and soothsayers....
Now, I do realize that this was actually my true mission and my artistic, emotional creativity rather the catalyst. Weird, the same never worked without the latter. 

[Opsa]

One thing that may have helped me is the presence of art in my life.

Yes, artistic creativity is what I learned to appreciate and enjoy, too. It helped me to exchange virtues with total strangers/ tourists 

That's it. Art opens up the dialogue. Maybe TV and games do too, but the tradition of going to experience "live" art, theater, etc. followed by discussion over coffee, drinks or better yet- a good meal!- is a marvelous  feeling. The art lubricates the mind and offers ideas to be expounded upon. Children understand that it is a special event and the excitement makes them want to take part. Even a moody person (such as a teenager who is withdrawn by confusing thoughts) can sometimes be inspired to come out and talk when exposed to stimulating art. I hope I can keep my kid engaged with it.

[jjj]

Even a moody person (such as a teenager who is withdrawn by confusing thoughts) can sometimes be inspired to come out and talk when exposed to stimulating art. I hope I can keep my kid engaged with it.

True performers try to gain eye contact with the audience in order to communicate with them emotionally and enjoy these moments of sheer bliss. It's that what keeps them going.
Of course that all is not possible with CD music or here in our forum. Albeit we can hear a musician performing, we won't be able to experience the exchange of virtues a live performance offers. Hence, we rely on our own intuition to make up for it and often get it wrong.
Another thing is that many people simply lack the ability to communicate emotionally, due to diverse cultural backgrounds or worse, such as having suffered a cruel childhood.

[Opsa]

Why do many people seem to lack the ability to communicate emotionally? I think that they actually have the ability, they just need practice.

One of the main reasons that this monastery was created was to find a better way to communicate. The core group of us came here from another site, where it was observed that tremendously huge egos were getting in the way of communication. A person with a huge ego can turn people off by broadcasting his ideas while turning a deaf ear to others because he assumes he's always right.

We are experimenting here with the practice of humbleness. This is not to say we do not value ourselves, we do. But in order to communicate more openly with others, we attempt to put others neither above or below us.

It sounds like it should be simple, but it can be a challenge, particularly when dealing with someone who seems to be talking at you instead of with you. Self-worth is important (and what many troubled teens need to build), but if we value our opinion enough to want to be heard, it may help to realize that the listener may also have something to share with us.

In other words communication needs to be two-way. In order to open the two-way flow, we need to find mutual respect.

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Well said , Opsanus !

[jjj]

Why do many people seem to lack the ability to communicate emotionally? I think that they actually have the ability, they just need practice.

As mentioned, I think it's due to diverse cultural backgrounds or worse, such as having suffered a cruel childhood. To 'just communicate', one merely requires any practice in diplomacy. (I still need practice in that...)
Yet, emotional communication seems far more demanding n every way and that's where affection and love in childhood and good cultural background is decisive. (I got that bit right...)
The problem is: neither can we chose our cultural origin nor rekindle lost love in childhood. The first four years (at least) of our life are crucial to personal development.

[jjj]

One of the main reasons that this monastery was created was to find a better way to communicate.

Yes, I am seriously ready to learn that way...

The core group of us came here from another site, where it was observed that tremendously huge egos were getting in the way of communication.

Now that's where I'm getting confused. Does it mean that we should hide our  abilities, talents and achievements or how should we apply them? Because, if we hide them, than we haven't got any proof for our arguments. In other words, we should only claim that something is logically correct, if it worked successfully.

A person with a huge ego can turn people off by broadcasting his ideas while turning a deaf ear to others because he assumes he's always right.

The thing I know is that life is a continuous learning process and thus, I can't afford not to ignore new insight with the one I already gained.

Apropos 'huge ego': I should think that we are all entitled to be proud of our achievements. Here's my personal experience: Since my musical unique abilities are a gift of my ancestors, I was totally insecure about it's quality and desperately longed for confirmation from world renowned professional musicians. Since their responses forced my chest to swell like a silicon implant, I stopped blushing in public, grew self-confident and could afford to ignore public's opinions... at least in that regard. Well, to me all this is nothing extraordinary, but to many young readers this might be pretty offensive stuff, because it seems 'arrogant, showing-off, immodest' and worse... or is it?
Now the same happens here. I joined the forum to discuss quality of life in all its aspects and yes, it's unavoidable that, personal life experiences come into play and for me it's interesting to hear and compare your opinion/ insight to mine.
Thus, someone has to chuck a cluster of insight onto the table and I'll be delighted to pick around on that and try to interpret it as logically correct as possible.  Of course every interpretation requires the necessary backup... or it's invalid. Also it's hard to refute something we benefited from, unless exists a more logical explanation for it. Cachai?   

P.S. Please feel free to tell me frankly when I go overboard with arrogance, show off, etc. This way I will learn to be more diplomatic. It would help me even more to show me how I should have expressed myself, instead.
Public Declaration:
I herewith openly declare that I'm suffering from hard-earned ego and am willing to learn to control it: ...may God and you good forum siblings help me! Amen

[Alpaca]

I think emotional communication is difficult because, it seems to me, emotion is generally negatively regarded in society. Maybe it's part of some neo-Neoclassical Stoic ideal. Emotion seems to be viewed as a sign of weakness - a "real man" is pure logic (and muscle). Gender stereotypes can play a role in this, too, methinks.

Or, the display of emotion is viewed as a vulnerability. Everybody in the world is your enemy, and if they can find one emotional hook to dig into, they'll clamber over your head to rise higher! Therefore, it's best to suppress emotion, or better yet, not have it.

Also, the many groups of people who are fixated with emotion alone, at the expense of rationality, give emotions in general a bad name. Think about the emo kids, and the angry, angsty teenagers. Since (assuming a perfect stereotype) the sole motive for all their actions is their emotional state, we can shy away from emotion as a whole to avoid being like them.

Finally, emotional expression requires a certain degree of trust. I trust my friends and family and Toadfish Siblings, and so am perfectly comfortable communicating emotionally with those people. But among some people (especially certain groups of kids at school), I am honestly afraid to show too much of myself, because some people seek to use all personal information as a weapon.

I realize the importance and value of emotional communication, and I strive to practice it as often as I can. I am incredibly grateful for the people in the world with whom I can communicate emotionally. I understand, nevertheless, why it can sometimes be so difficult. Understanding, I find, can be the first step to overcoming.

[jjj]

I read... that it's 'unenglish' to show feelings. It's an English trait mark. As you rightly said it's to do with fear of showing weakness, vulnerability and the sorts of reasons. Actually, I'm ashamed too, showing tears while performing and so, learned enjoying them without anyone noticing it, but in the last 12 years I had about 6 fans (mostly elderly folk) suddenly braking out in uncontrollable sobbing and I felt sooo guilty for having brought that on to them... At first I didn't realize the cause, only later on, after it happened to me, I had a chance to analyzed it.
In a Jewish Synagogue in Sydney.au (where I performed) a Russian lady, who did not speak a word for 5 years, got that emotionally excited that she spoke for the first time! She must have truly enjoyed the Russian Gypsy tunes... Such is the power of emotional communication.
I suggest we should allow our emotions flow freely and worry about the consequences later on... and see if there are any consequences at all.