The Portsmouth Aaarrrrggghhhus - all the news that's unfit to print

[Bluenose]

Editor's note:

Dear readers, when confonted by a great big ugly pirate in full regalia (tri-corn'd hat, frock coat, eye patch etc) brandishing assorted cutlasses and firearms yelling "GIVE ME MUNEEEE!"  it is generaly considered safest to give him some coin of the realm in order to promote your lengevity.

[Griffin NoName]

Hey! Bartie!  Go print yer own Munneee - if the Bank o' england can Oi'm sure ye can too !!!


arf! arf! arf! lessee 'im get lokked up fer it arf! arf!

[Black Bart]

Cap'n Cronan appears live on BBC TV Shock:

[Griffin NoName]

I saw that and was amazed at how calm Kevin Whately was !!!!!!!!!!

Presumably he just had no idea who he was dealing with

[Pachyderm]

Iggnerince is bliss.

[Black Bart]

I saw that and was amazed at how calm Kevin Whately was !!!!!!!!!!

Presumably he just had no idea who he was dealing with

Arrgh poor Kevin...he's DOOOOOOOMED!

I saw a missed opportunity...revive Inspector Morse with Cronan in the lead role!

[Griffin NoName]

oh what ? like  we would have reMorse ?   

[Bruder Cuzzen]

      INVASION !New Portsmouth In A Panic

This reporter has discovered that Auntie Blackbeard's NefyooBB has discovered New Portsmouth !
In an exclusive interview his intentions are made very clear ," i coman ye ta fetch me uh grild cheze sammich oar um goona ban ya ! fank ye yer welkum ."

[Griffin NoName]

Pirates Flee Portsmouth

Flash News:  Ships 'av bin leavin' the 'arber at a furius rate o' knotts. Tavern's business 'as bin takin' a dive too.

[nefyuBB]

         AHHH WOoooh ! Exclaims NefyuBB

sayd tha
dreedid
pyrit
nefyoo
buck
an
ear hewoe neyubb 

um goon ta pillj yer stuff an pway gamz an stuff
yyyhrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrr
rryyuRRrrrR!

nowe hanover yer eyes screem
an sum woot beh
fank ye yer welkum plez 

[Bruder Cuzzen]

                Bane Of Portsmouth Invades Towne !

Wythe a bloode curdling "Y rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" thee dreed buccuneer NefyuBB aka NefYoo Black Bleard aka NefyU aka NefYooBB aka NefYoo aka That Brat aka *%$#*!
, waddled uppe Main Street headed for thee Olde Ice Creame Emporium Shoppe Inc.
Whilst  supporting a full diaper wythe one hand and brandishing flotsam wythe thee other.

Residents are advised to maintainest a safe distance as thee diapers contents may be toxic due to bilge rat ande fishe heades .

[nefyuBB]

me dyaparrrrrr hold wots ov stuff
frum me pillyjin !

I sharre wiff ya
heer b a xtra log

ye kin rite stuff innit !

[DaveL]

Geoduck Epidemic In Portsmouth Bay. Housewives are mightily impressed!!

[Aggie]

Water looks a bit cold, poor thing....

O' course, sum be better endow'd than others:

[DaveL]

YArrrrrr...

I though Oi saw a movie wif sumfin like that in it once.  It was a 'nature film' of course