Portsmouth Pirate Public School

[DaveL]

Dear Still Master Bluenose,

Please proceed with your current Social Night batching arrangement. Mrs Vanderbilt will be in attendance, so Oi suggest you add some red/green colouring to make it look like it's softdrink. Oi will need Bake Master Pieces O'Nine to soften the blow by baking Mrs Vanderbilt a nice big batch of those Moskstraumens.

I'm hoping when the Naked Scallywags hit the stage, she will leave abruptly. If not Big Ron's band will clear the auditorium.

That should clear the way for the youngsters to cut loose. Can we get 'em to leave their weapons in their dorms this year?  Tell that scoundrel Berty Bilson that he's not gettin' anywhere near the school cannon to let off some rounds. Last years deaths were blamed upon Black Spot's galleon, not us.

Looking forward to the shindig as always!!

Regards,
Bill

[pieces o nine]

Dear Principal Cullinane,

Oi wuz ahead of ye on the "fiinger food" and "nibbles" idea. Oi had a batch of luverly ladyfingers all ready to bribe dispatch present to Missus Vanderbilt when oi had a hinspiration to garnish them, loike, with sum of the rum the pyrate scouts ave been runnin fer Stillmaster Bluenose. Sadly, the ladyfingers dinsintegratered roight befoar me ois. Not even crumbs wuz left.

Oi'll hexperiment wiv yer suggestchun regardin the Moskstraumens.

Lookin for'ard to the festivitees,
Bake Master Pieces O'Nine

Pirate Scrip: could ye ask Stillmaster Bluenose to send over anuvver bottle uv his hair remover/mouth wash? There be nuffink loike it ter clear out stubborn charred arrreas in thee ovens.

[pieces o nine]

Aye, but do we go for the biscuits first, or the tea?

That be a taxin queschun. Perhaps we should meet at the Benbow to compare charts and plot thee most effishent attack. Oi suggest we arrive afore Black Bart so's not ter get stuck wiv 'is bar tab. Again.

-Pieces o Nine

[Black Bart]

Black Bart:
Yes, I PhotoShopped them. You would have wept with envy to see them: even the weevil shadows were perfect. Then I sized it down for a smaller image and lost all me luvverly detail. 

That's an excellent job...are you a professional Graphic Artist or Designer?

[Black Bart]

Aye, but do we go for the biscuits first, or the tea?

That be a taxin queschun. Perhaps we should meet at the Benbow to compare charts and plot thee most effishent attack. Oi suggest we arrive afore Black Bart so's not ter get stuck wiv 'is bar tab. Again.

-Pieces o Nine

Arrrrrrgh...I was goin ta pay me tab seein I had rich pickins from a Pacific Biscuit Cutter...but I noticed me shoe lace was undone on the way to the bar (again), I bent down to tie me laces an I noticed a Gold Cronan lyin in the Spitoon.  Wivout flinchin or a second thought, I reached into the snot to retrieve the Cronan and crack...me back went!  I'll ave to keep me cash for the chiropracter!

[Aggie]

Oi'd already paid the first few rounds in advance.  But I had to drink 'em meself since you lot didn't show.

*hic*

Still got a load of spices to sell before Oi'll have room in th' hold for another voyage.   Hmm... might need to bribe have a word with the Stillmaster.

[pieces o nine]

...are you a professional Graphic Artist or Designer?

Thank you! Yes.

[Black Bart]

Snap...I only turned to Piracy to sharpen me Perspective!

Are you freelance or working for someone? (In Graphics not Piracy...you can only be freelance in piracy!)

[DaveL]

Yarrr...

Now we haves Bart and Pieces in our midst. This is goin to get even more graphic!

[pieces o nine]

There be nuffink to see here, folks, move along wiv ye.


[I am freelancing while looking for a better corporate fit. Words cannot describe how enjoyable this is.]

[Bruder Cuzzen]

...are you a professional Graphic Artist or Designer?

Thank you! Yes.

I thought so . ARGH!

[pieces o nine]

Yarrr. This soite seems t' attract 'creatives'.

[Black Bart]

Arrrrr...it be the free spirit o the Pirate wot makes us so himaginative...nothun but the horizon o the vast hexpanse o the sea to hold back our creative juices...

<background noise of jailer pushing tray through bars>

"Here's yer Bread an Water BLack Bart...an stop rattelin yer chains it be disturbin the rats!"

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Yarr ! At thee momint Oi be inna doldrums fer a noice lung winded tail...but oi fergot the storee Oi maid up whilst wawndren doan thee rowd .

But leest me spellin still be good !

[Black Bart]

Arrrr, the Long Winded Tales ave had a resurgence of late.