The Never Ending Toadfish Interview Cycle!

[Swatopluk]

1) How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Two older brothers

2) Were you named after a family member? (Who?)
Maternal uncle

3) What precious metal do you prefer for jewelry?
Hm, copper and tin are not precious metals (though copper is borderline).
Rarely wear jewelry.

Bonus question: What's the frequency, Kenneth?
Low, Mr.More

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1. What's the most expensive legal offense you have been caught with yet?

2. was it also the worst committed?

3. How did Homeland Security get hold of this thread?

Bonus question: can an antisemite wear jewelry without being a hypocrite (apart from it being a general feature in the first place)?

[goat starer]

1. What's the most expensive legal offense you have been caught with yet?

never been caught 

2. was it also the worst committed?

interesting question. When looking at getting work placements and employment for ex-offenders we ask businesses this to get them thinking about how easy it would have been to be in the same position as some of the people we are helping. The simple answer is that if you take maximum sentences into account some of the things i did at university could have carried a 20 year term (they were never serious enough for a court to impose this sentence but in theory....).

I suppose that given my active opposition to the Iraq war i could have been whisked off to Guantanamo Bay for ever 

3. How did Homeland Security get hold of this thread?

Do i look worried by your black helicopters and orange jumpsuits 

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1) Do you keep in touch with old boy/girlfriends?

2) What art do you have on your living room walls?

3) What books do you have in your lavatory?

[Black Bart]

1) Do you keep in touch with old boy/girlfriends?

Not really...it's safer that way!

2) What art do you have on your living room walls?

A watercolour of some bluebells in a wood.
Another watercolour of the Lake District.
boring really, but on Second Life in my Pirate Inn I've got portraits of pirates all over the cellar walls!

3) What books do you have in your lavatory?

Toulouse Latrec biography, Toulouse Latrec's masterpieces, Shite's Miscellany, Moby Dick, Three Men in a boat, Three men on the Bummell, Bored of the Rings (excellent parody of Tolkiens masterpiece), Toilet Elephant and Notes from a Small island...there's a theme running as you can see!

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1: What was your greatest sporting achievement?

2: How long can you shop for without getting bored?

3: Have you ever been in danger from a wild animal (insect, fish etc)?

[goat starer]

1: What was your greatest sporting achievement?

my first competetive cricket match. I bowled 1 over of 13 balls (Very Wide!) conceding 15 runs but taking two wickets. The guys at the other end were so suprised when a ball went straight they just watched it fly past! I also scored 6 runs including one 4 and caught someone. On return to the clubhouse i was presented with the club social rules....

first time you bat for the club you have to buy 4 pints for the team
first time you bowl for the club ditto
first time you hit a four ditto
fist time you bowl somebody out ditto
first time you catch somebody ditto
and so on....

cost me 24 pints 


2: How long can you shop for without getting bored?

hours and hours online or in a bookstore. If it involves clothes about 20 seconds

3: Have you ever been in danger from a wild animal (insect, fish etc)?

I consider myself to be in mortal peril if a spider even looks at me!

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1) do you have a pasta maker?

2) If so have you actually ever used it?

3) do you know anyone who has read 'A brief history of time'?

[Swatopluk]

1) do you have a pasta maker?
Yes, I have a mother.

2) If so have you actually ever used it?
I do not just "use" other people.

3) do you know anyone who has read 'A brief history of time'?
Yes, myself (in translation though)

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1. If you had to die by unnatural means, which way out of life would you prefer?

2. Could you honestly imagine to sacrifice your life (in a very unpleasant way) for a single other person? (No, this is not about unhappy marriages)

3. You have to fight a duel and have the choice of weapons, what would be your choice?

Bonus question: Why does that person ask such morbid questions?

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

1. If you had to die by unnatural means, which way out of life would you prefer?

Fast and painless.

Or laugh to death.

2. Could you honestly imagine to sacrifice your life (in a very unpleasant way) for a single other person? (No, this is not about unhappy marriages)

If someone would endanger a member of my family (the part that I like) or a very good friend, I'd probably sacrifice myself.

3. You have to fight a duel and have the choice of weapons, what would be your choice?


Ashtrays. I have a thick head and experience in tossing ashtrays at another person's head.

Bonus question: Why does that person ask such morbid questions?

I think it has something to do with his childhood.

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1. Were you a happy child?

2. Do you have a flag of your country (or any other country) at your house? Where (hanging on the wall, out of the window, out in the yard, hidden)?

3. How often do you take your trash out?

Bonus: Should the bonus question have a number appointed or just remain a bonus?

[goat starer]

*****a brief aside but what constitutes and 'unnatural' death? Squashed by a Yeti? Devoured by ghosts? murdered by your imaginary friend? 

[Swatopluk]

Usually any death that is not by old age or a disease caught the natural way.

[goat starer]

****well i must say that is funny use of the word natural! being eaten by lions is natural and it is pretty natural to die if you get hit by a bus!

now get back to what you were doing. Move along please there is nothing to see here

[beagle]

Orwell gives a pretty good definition in one of his essays AFAICR. His conclusion was that it's better to die violently and young (or not too old), though getting round to it might be one of those things you tend to put off.

[Swatopluk]

1. Were you a happy child?
I'd say yes.

2. Do you have a flag of your country (or any other country) at your house? Where (hanging on the wall, out of the window, out in the yard, hidden)?
No, I only have a few t-shirts with the flags of Iceland and Norway and am always suspicious about people waving German flags (especially abroad and/or in groups).

3. How often do you take your trash out?
No regular intervals and dependent on kinds of trash

Bonus: Should the bonus question have a number appointed or just remain a bonus?
The latter

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1. Should children be allowed to watch TV before they have learned to read?

2. From what age on should children be allowed to use a calculator at a school (instead of doing the math by hand that is)?

3. Should children learn to read before going to elementary/primary school?

Bonus question: Will GW Bush write memoirs (himself or using a ghostwriter) and will they be titled "For Me and My American Pet Goat"?

[Sibling Chatty]

1. Should children be allowed to watch TV before they have learned to read?

Yes, especially Sesame street and other shows that teach letters and numbers. There need to be more of them, and they need to bring back some of the classic Sesame Street early shows, where the letters and numbers were really stressed.

2. From what age on should children be allowed to use a calculator at a school (instead of doing the math by hand that is)?

At the age where their classwork has helped them master the basic math actions (add, subtract, multiply, divide) and they're starting into more difficult mathematical studies.

3. Should children learn to read before going to elementary/primary school?

Children should learn 'reading readiness', the letters, sounds, shapes, etc by US system kindergarten (age 5) so that basic reading can be taught. (US offers preschool, with a program called Head Start for people that can't afford private preschool, or cannot teach at home (literacy issues) but not all eligible children participate. By first grade, a child should have a very basic reading level, or they won't be able to keep up.

Bonus question: Will GW Bush write memoirs (himself or using a ghostwriter) and will they be titled "For Me and My American Pet Goat"?

He'd have to have a ghostwriter, but he wan't talk about the Pet Goat. He's afraid of livestock of any type, and goats would be no exception.



1. What are you allergic to, if anything?

2. What's the sickest you've ever been?

3. Which family member do you most resemble?

Bonus Question: Anybody got some cake?

[Swatopluk]

1. What are you allergic to, if anything?
Certain types of pollen (e.g. birch) and a few fruits. Slightly (only after long exposure) to some metal salts.

2. What's the sickest you've ever been?
Weber A on one ankle, chickenpox as a child (I don't remember personally). Nothing life-threatening yet.

3. Which family member do you most resemble?
My father (in body shape and character)

Bonus Question: Anybody got some cake?
Not me

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1. Do you like fish (as a dish that is)? If yes, more salt or more fresh water species?

2. Would you like to become a space tourist and how much would you invest in it, if you do?

3. Does the French election affect you?

Bonus Question: Cheese or Black Forest cake?

[Black Bart]

1. Do you like fish (as a dish that is)? If yes, more salt or more fresh water species?

AAARRRRRRRRRR...Surely no need fer me to answer that one...Just the Heads!

2. Would you like to become a space tourist and how much would you invest in it, if you do?

AAARRRRRRRRRRR I be waitin fer the mayor Ken Liversausage to make it part of London Transport!

3. Does the French election affect you?

YYYYYAAARRRRRGH...The Frenchies always affect me...the very mention of em makes me crew rise up to a man and bay fer blood...and some o that nice blue cheese and a couple o bottles o cote de Rhone...

Bonus Question: Cheese or Black Forest cake?

Bonus answer: Calico Jack's treasure is situated just off the coast o Blind Pew's island, four degrees south West of...

Oh the cake, the cake!

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1. Is the population of France really any more than 10 million (I am conducting a survey for the purposes of armament supplies)?

2. Who is your favourite French painter?

3. What is your favourite French cheese?

[Sibling Chatty]

Out of order, and not responding to the questions, but...

Balck Forest Cake??? My favorite!!!!!!