Big Freakin' Valentine's Day Snit

[Opsa]

I have to admit it: I'm beginning to think I hate Valentine's Day. I don't hate love, or expressions of love, and I do appreciate that, like Xmas, the day should distract us from the confounding weather patterns at this time of year. What I do not like are the expectations, or even worse- the fear of expectations.

I have been married for coming up on 23 (million) years now, and I honestly feel that we should be kinda beyond all the "get chokkies or the little woman will have you sleep in the doghouse" mind set. I like chokkies, but I do not expect them. I love flowers way more, but I will not kill my husband if he does not bring any. We are on a tight budget, or I would have just bought a modest bouquet at the grocery store, as I usually do for V-day.

The poor man walked into breakfast this morning asking if I wanted to go to the Mandarin place tonight for dinner with our daughter, and my first (no coffee yet, mind you) answer was heck no, it'll be all crowded with the Valentine date set. Let's go another time. (Again, we're on a tight budget and I know he has a gift card to the place, which would help pay the bill.)

Then I felt bad. Obviously he was trying to do the right Valenfreakintine thing, and here I was refusing, like a pill. I love going to dinner, what was I thinking? So I backed down and said that yes, that would be nice.

After he left for work, I noticed the two gifts I had wrapped for his Dad (turning 80 this weekend, we bough them together last weekend) and wondered if he had seen them, thought they were Valenfronkin gifts for him and freaked out because he had nothing for me! He came home for lunch and I asked him, and apparently he had wondered if they were for him.

So I gotta wonder, does anyone need this sort of nonsense? It's so silly.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I'm a man so by default I hate these stupid 'time-to-buy-now!' supposed holidays, and I hated this in one particular even more when I was alone, so my overwhelming sympathies, yet...
---
Ok, so you noticed he noticed and that bothers you because of budget, etc. Now the question is: had he been clueless about it would you feel the same way about it? 

[Aggie]

I like the idea of Black Day rather better.  Singles who didn't celebrate Valentine's Day (arguably made up to sell candy) or White Day (unambiguously made up to sell candy) get together and eat noodles in black bean sauce. 

LOL, while composing this post I had a Valentine's day card arrive in the mail. Handwritten on a plain card, and void of any pink frillies, like the one I sent (mine was handmade, but similar). I don't buy in to all the Thou Shalt Buy crap and the air of consequences if one forgets, but it's not a bad idea to have a time to pause and acknowledge love, especially at a dark part of the year. All that other carp isn't due to the holiday, it's part and parcel with the same conspicuous-consumption culture that's making a vile bling-centric, bridezilla-spawning savings-destroying monster of the rite of marriage. Reject that, and Valentine's can be no more than a good reason to sneak off for a few stolen kisses in the hallway while the kids are eating their cereal.

No, it's not easy on singles, but to hell with it... throw off the expectations and celebrate singlehood like Black Day.

[stellinacadente]

I for one...would like the stupid day to go away only because every year it reminds me that another year of solitude has gone by and no excitement has come my way...

so burn the damn candy/flower/teddy bears selling crappy day for all I can

[Sibling DavidH]

Wendy and I decided decades ago that the whole thing is just a commercial nonsense these days, so we don't give cards.  We did have a nice bottle of wine last night.

We'll eat out tomorrow, the 16th anniversary of our new life here in Herefordshire.  That has a meaning for us, personally.

[Darlica]

I suppose it fits some peoples idea about romantic love.
"Romantic" in the Hollywood sense is however a concept that I never felt I really understand...

Anyhow, L did bought me some beautiful yellow/red tulips the day before Valentin and we did exchange some cute pictures over the cellphone. But neither tulips nor cute messages are restricted to 1 day a year... 

Some years L or I have bought stuff but most years none of us has bought anything*. I've drawn a lot of "cards" to him over the years, but then, I draw little pictures for him now and then anyway...

If one can turn St Valentins Day in to something personal rather than commercial, why not.
A dinner out is usually nice, fine chocolate or a nice glass of wine is always nice and love always deserves to be celebrated!
However I appreciate spontaneous outburst of love much more than one commercialised "obligation" day...   




*I admit to have bought cute plush animals cheap the week after St V and then removed the little hearts they where clutching. I have later replaced that heart with something more personal (like a handmade bracelet for example) and then used them as birthday gifts or such. 


   

[Swatopluk]

They (you know who) try to establish Valentine over here too. Fortunately with not too much success (unlike, alas, with Halloween).
Since I have no intent towards (or capability of/to) voodoo and necrophilia*, I stay alone and need no artificial holiday to remind me of that either.

or life-acting The Spectre's Bride with reversed roles 

[Griffin NoName]

Hate all "Days". Commercial nonesense. Apreciation, or whatever, is all year round.

[Swatopluk]

Night is not necessarily better in that regard