You are on ze vood vay.

[Sibling DavidH]

When I lived in Germany, people were always coming up with deliberate mis-translations of German idioms into English, just for a laugh.
Example: "Take you yes in eight!" (nimm dich ja in Acht, actually meaning "be careful").
Other examples were "That makes me overhead nothing out", "I am heavy on wire today" and "you can me".
There must be lots more to find in all sorts of other languages.  Any offers?

[beagle]

Hmm.  Like "Tenez vos chevaux" being French for "Not so fast mon ami"? Or "vin ordinaire" translating as "Ford Transit".


I'm not sure my language skills are up to this.

[Aggie]

I should have a pile of Korean/English examples, but I'm blanking.  Will get back to you.

There are reportedly signs forbidding public urination in Seoul that depict a chili pepper being cut with a knife.  Doesn't make sense unless you know the slang use of 'kochu' (pepper).

[Swatopluk]

Equal goes it loose - Gleich geht's los - It's going to start now
You can me once - Du kannst mich mal - Bite my shiny metal ass (as Bender would say)
Lactis audere est ante pericula - Der Milchwagen ist vorgefahren - lit.: of the milk to dare is before danger - The milk (carrying) car has driven up
Lactis audere est ut placere - Der Milchwagen is umgefallen - lit.: of the milk to dare is in order to please - The milk (carrying) car has toppled over
I make me now me nothing you nothing out of the dust - Ich mach mich jetzt mir nichts dir nichts aus dem Staub - I'm going to vamoose at the drop of a hat
A roof is browsing like thunder hall - Es braust ein Ruf wie Donnerhall - Like thunderclap a call is heard
Rex pulex et multum in ut plus - Der König floh und fiel in das Meer - lit.: The king flea and much in that more - The King fled and fell into the sea
Socates venenum fidele hausit - Der fidele Sokrates hausierte mit Gift - lit.: Socrates drank the poison serenely - The jolly Socrates peddled poison
Caesaris milites totam silvam compleverunt et unusquisque stetit apud cohortem suam. - Caesars Soldaten machten den ganzen Wald voll und ein jeder stand bei seinem Haufen. - lit.: Caesar's soldiers filled the whole forest and each one stood with his cohort - Caesar's soldier filled the whole forest with crap and each stood next to his pile (of shit)
Mors certa hora incerta - Todsicher geht die Uhr falsch - lit.: death (is) certain, the hour (is) uncertain - Dead sure the clock is wrong

[Sibling DavidH]

Hmm.  Like "Tenez vos chevaux" being French for "Not so fast mon ami"? Or "vin ordinaire" translating as "Ford Transit"

Those are splendid!  Also apéritif = 'dentures'.

Swato, I knew you'd have a few. One of yours is famous, because decades ago, when our queen visited Germany and a parade was about to start, your President Lübke rudely leaned in front of the queen and said "Equal goes it loose" to Prince Philip.  Or so they say.

[Swatopluk]

It was actually mentioned today in the papers (as an urban legend*) on occasion of another German politician (and current EU commissar) holding a speech in less than perfect English.

*unlike his other famous gaffe "Meine Damen und Herren, liebe Neger", which actually happened and was clearly not meant in a racist way but simply a botched attempt to be extra polite. Btw, Helmut Kohl was also infamous for his English deficiency (and the source/victim of a lot of jokes on that)

[youtube=425,350]OXPPu418C78[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXPPu418C78

[Sibling DavidH]

"Meine Damen und Herren, liebe Neger"

[Swatopluk]

While we are at linguistic curiosities. While reading paper on decomissioning of mercury cell chlorine plants I noticed that the word 'bookkeeping' has three double letters (oo, kk, ee) directly after each other. I wonder, whether there are English words that have 4 of those in conjunction.

[Sibling DavidH]

Hmmm, that'll take some thinking about.  Wait out, as the radio ops say.
(It's a neat piece of observation, though, Swato.  )

[Aggie]

Bookkeeper is notorious for it; I'm not sure there's anything else longer but it's worth a look (quick search turns up subbookkeeper but that's forcing it IMHO).  I have two sets of non-adjacent double letters in my given name, so I like 'em.

My SIL got quite a start at the English slang "they're going to shit themselves" = "they are going to be very surprised" (related to "shit yourself laughing" etc.).

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Balloon has 2 of 2....

[Sibling DavidH]

A collector of mildly pornographic literature is, of course, a ....
BOOBBOOKKEEPER !!
(Nyah, nyah)

[Swatopluk]

Unfortunately in English that would (I think) usually be written as two words or at least hyphenated.

[Sibling DavidH]

We've just finished a very alcoholic Sunday lunch with friends, who all agree that 'BOOBBOOKKEEPER' is acceptable (just about, on a good day, with the wind in the right direction).  So, Nyaaah!
That gives me triple letter score, plus quintuple word score, 250 for going off the edge of the board and 27 Tesco petrol vouchers! 

[Swatopluk]

Another classic
[youtube=425,350]r4bnk8c29qw[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4bnk8c29qw
And here is a slightly different text version:

Peter, Paul and Mary are sitting in the kitchen.
>Peter, Paul und Maria sitzen im Kittchen.
Es klingelt.

O,the bell rings!
>O,der Hund ringt!

Hello,here is a letter for you.
>Hallo, hier ist eine Leiter fuer Euch.

Oh, it's from the German cancellor Helmut Schmidt.
>Oh, es ist vom deutschen Kanzel-Ohr Helmut Schmidt.

He invites us to his garden party.
>Er lädt uns zu seiner Garten-Partei ein.

Zwei Wochen später begüßt Helmut Schmidt seine englischen Gäste.

Hello, you bang bangs!
>Hallo, ihr Knalltueten!

You can call me Helmut.
>Ihr könnt meinen Helmut rufen.

And I want you to meet my wife Loki.
>Und ich möchte, dass Ihr mein Weib Lokomotive mietet.

In Germany they have lots of polititians.
>In Deutschland haben sie viele Politessen.

Hello, Mr. Vegetable!
>Guten Tag, Herr Kohl!

Hello, Mr.Bird, hello, Mr.Biedenhead.
>Guten Tag, Herr Vogel, guten Tag Herr Biedenkopf.

Aber Peter, Paul und Maria sehen noch andere prominente Gäste.

Is this Henry wau-wau?
>Ja,das ist Heinrich Böll.

This is Alice Schwarzer.
>Das sind alles Neger.

And there is Roy Black.
>Und da ist der König der Neger.

But now have a good time!
>Aber nun habt eine gute Uhr,
sagt der Kanzler.
Und Peter,Paul und Maria schlender alleine weiter durch den Garten. Dabei macht Maria eine Entdeckung.

O,there is music in the air!
>O,da ist Musik in den Eiern!

Is it a waltz or a foxtrott?
>Ist es eine Walze oder ein Fuchsritt?

I am hungry.
>Ich bin Ungar,
sagt Peter.

Angenehm,I am thursty.
>Ich bin Donnerstag,
sagt der Kellner.

Take Place.
>Nehmen Sie ein Plätzchen.

Or do you want to lunch with us?
>Oder wollen sie uns lynchen?

Und die Party geht weiter.
>And the party get's wider.

But were are the trees?
>Aber wo sind die drei?

Where is Peter?
Peter is looking for a Puff.
>Peter sucht was zum Rauchen.

Peter is visiting the Bundesrat.
>Paul besucht die Bundesratte.

And Mary?
Well she is having a breakfast with the Mayor of Bonn.
>Sie hat ein Brechfest mit dem Meier aus Bonn.

Good bye.
>Guten Einkauf.

[Sibling DavidH]

Oh, you are heavy on wire today, not true?

[beagle]

Perhaps he has the cockroach.


F: Avoir le cafard

[Sibling DavidH]

There you have tapped on the thousand!

  _{F  'Taper dans le mille'  = 'hit the nail on the head'}

[beagle]

My French master used to complain that during the war the Brits would say "Look out!" when what they really meant was "Now would be a good time to curl up in a small ball".

[Sibling DavidH]

Well, m'dear fellow, stiff upper lip and all that, what?

[beagle]

Details were vague, but I think there was an incident involving being transported on the back of a truck and a low-hanging branch.

It was one of the memoirs in the "Tell us again how you won WWII all by yourself sir"*  series we'd attempt to set in train if we hadn't done our homework.



* see Nigel Molesworth, the brilliant creator of this distraction method.

[Sibling DavidH]

Molesworth is uterly wet and a weed, chiz chiz.


EDIT:

[beagle]

 

Hello clouds, hello sky.

Incidentally, talking about ancient literature, did you ever read the "Let's Parler Franglais" articles of Miles Kington in Punch or the spin-off books?

Highly recommended to give you that little extra linguistic I don't know what when conversing with the French.  His other articles could be fun too. e.g. "The Lord thy God is a little inclined to fly off the handle" etc.

"Il n'y a pas un 12:02 a Stainforth, il est withdrawn a cause de staff problems."

[Sibling DavidH]

Yes, I did see them, and I used to be annoyed because I was doing it long before.  But the idea must be as old as the hills frogs.   

[Swatopluk]

In the story The Last Term Kipling did a bit of vood way too.

McTurk drew off with Stalky to prowl about the office. They left little unturned.

"Come here a shake, Beetle. What's this thing?" aid Stalky, in a few minutes. "Looks familiar."

Said Beetle, after a glance: "It's King's Latin prose exam. paper. In—In Varrem: actio prima. What a lark!"

"Think o' the pure-souled, high-minded boys who'd give their eyes for a squint at it!" said McTurk.

"No, Willie dear," said Stalky; "that would be wrong and painful to our kind teachers. You wouldn't crib, Willie, would you?"

"Can't read the beastly stuff, anyhow," was the reply. "Besides, we're leavin' at the end o' the term, so it makes no difference to us."

"'Member what the Considerate Bloomer did to Spraggon's account of the Puffin'ton Hounds? We must sugar Mr. King's milk for him," said Stalky, all lighted from within by a devilish joy. "Let's see what Beetle can do with those forceps he's so proud of."

"Don't see now you can make Latin prose much more cock-eye than it is, but we'll try," said Beetle, transposing an aliud and Asiae from two sentences. "Let's see! We'll put that full-stop a little further on, and begin the sentence with the next capital. Hurrah! Here's three lines that can move up all in a lump."

"'One of those scientific rests for which this eminent huntsman is so justly celebrated.'" Stalky knew the Puffington run by heart.

"Hold on! Here's a vol—voluntate quidnam all by itself," said McTurk.

"I'll attend to her in a shake. Quidnam goes after Dolabella."

"Good old Dolabella," murmured Stalky. "Don't break him. Vile prose Cicero wrote, didn't he? He ought to be grateful for—"

"Hullo!" said McTurk, over another forme. "What price a giddy ode? Qui—quis—oh, it's Quis multa gracilis, o' course."

"Bring it along. We've sugared the milk here," said Stalky, after a few minutes' zealous toil. "Never thrash your hounds unnecessarily."

"Quis munditiis? I swear that's not bad," began Beetle, plying the tweezers. "Don't that interrogation look pretty? Heu quoties fidem! That sounds as if the chap were anxious an' excited. Cui flavam religas in rosa—Whose flavor is relegated to a rose. Mutatosque Deos flebit in antro."

"Mute gods weepin' in a cave," suggested Stalky. "'Pon my Sam, Horace needs as much lookin' after as—Tulke."

They edited him faithfully till it was too dark to see.

"'Aha! Elucescebat, quoth our friend.' Ulpian serves my need, does it? If King can make anything out of that, I'm a blue-eyed squatteroo," said Beetle, as they slid out of the loft window into a back alley of old acquaintance and started on a three-mile trot to the College. But the revision of the classics had detained them too long. They halted, blown and breathless, in the furze at the back of the gasometer, the College lights twinkling below, ten minutes at least late for tea and lock-up.