You are on ze vood vay.

[Sibling DavidH]

When I lived in Germany, people were always coming up with deliberate mis-translations of German idioms into English, just for a laugh.
Example: "Take you yes in eight!" (nimm dich ja in Acht, actually meaning "be careful").
Other examples were "That makes me overhead nothing out", "I am heavy on wire today" and "you can me".
There must be lots more to find in all sorts of other languages.  Any offers?

[beagle]

Hmm.  Like "Tenez vos chevaux" being French for "Not so fast mon ami"? Or "vin ordinaire" translating as "Ford Transit".


I'm not sure my language skills are up to this.

[Aggie]

I should have a pile of Korean/English examples, but I'm blanking.  Will get back to you.

There are reportedly signs forbidding public urination in Seoul that depict a chili pepper being cut with a knife.  Doesn't make sense unless you know the slang use of 'kochu' (pepper).

[Swatopluk]

Equal goes it loose - Gleich geht's los - It's going to start now
You can me once - Du kannst mich mal - Bite my shiny metal ass (as Bender would say)
Lactis audere est ante pericula - Der Milchwagen ist vorgefahren - lit.: of the milk to dare is before danger - The milk (carrying) car has driven up
Lactis audere est ut placere - Der Milchwagen is umgefallen - lit.: of the milk to dare is in order to please - The milk (carrying) car has toppled over
I make me now me nothing you nothing out of the dust - Ich mach mich jetzt mir nichts dir nichts aus dem Staub - I'm going to vamoose at the drop of a hat
A roof is browsing like thunder hall - Es braust ein Ruf wie Donnerhall - Like thunderclap a call is heard
Rex pulex et multum in ut plus - Der König floh und fiel in das Meer - lit.: The king flea and much in that more - The King fled and fell into the sea
Socates venenum fidele hausit - Der fidele Sokrates hausierte mit Gift - lit.: Socrates drank the poison serenely - The jolly Socrates peddled poison
Caesaris milites totam silvam compleverunt et unusquisque stetit apud cohortem suam. - Caesars Soldaten machten den ganzen Wald voll und ein jeder stand bei seinem Haufen. - lit.: Caesar's soldiers filled the whole forest and each one stood with his cohort - Caesar's soldier filled the whole forest with crap and each stood next to his pile (of shit)
Mors certa hora incerta - Todsicher geht die Uhr falsch - lit.: death (is) certain, the hour (is) uncertain - Dead sure the clock is wrong

[Sibling DavidH]

Hmm.  Like "Tenez vos chevaux" being French for "Not so fast mon ami"? Or "vin ordinaire" translating as "Ford Transit"

Those are splendid!  Also apéritif = 'dentures'.

Swato, I knew you'd have a few. One of yours is famous, because decades ago, when our queen visited Germany and a parade was about to start, your President Lübke rudely leaned in front of the queen and said "Equal goes it loose" to Prince Philip.  Or so they say.

[Swatopluk]

It was actually mentioned today in the papers (as an urban legend*) on occasion of another German politician (and current EU commissar) holding a speech in less than perfect English.

*unlike his other famous gaffe "Meine Damen und Herren, liebe Neger", which actually happened and was clearly not meant in a racist way but simply a botched attempt to be extra polite. Btw, Helmut Kohl was also infamous for his English deficiency (and the source/victim of a lot of jokes on that)

[youtube=425,350]OXPPu418C78[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXPPu418C78

[Sibling DavidH]

"Meine Damen und Herren, liebe Neger"

[Swatopluk]

While we are at linguistic curiosities. While reading paper on decomissioning of mercury cell chlorine plants I noticed that the word 'bookkeeping' has three double letters (oo, kk, ee) directly after each other. I wonder, whether there are English words that have 4 of those in conjunction.

[Sibling DavidH]

Hmmm, that'll take some thinking about.  Wait out, as the radio ops say.
(It's a neat piece of observation, though, Swato.  )

[Aggie]

Bookkeeper is notorious for it; I'm not sure there's anything else longer but it's worth a look (quick search turns up subbookkeeper but that's forcing it IMHO).  I have two sets of non-adjacent double letters in my given name, so I like 'em.

My SIL got quite a start at the English slang "they're going to shit themselves" = "they are going to be very surprised" (related to "shit yourself laughing" etc.).

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Balloon has 2 of 2....

[Sibling DavidH]

A collector of mildly pornographic literature is, of course, a ....
BOOBBOOKKEEPER !!
(Nyah, nyah)

[Swatopluk]

Unfortunately in English that would (I think) usually be written as two words or at least hyphenated.

[Sibling DavidH]

We've just finished a very alcoholic Sunday lunch with friends, who all agree that 'BOOBBOOKKEEPER' is acceptable (just about, on a good day, with the wind in the right direction).  So, Nyaaah!
That gives me triple letter score, plus quintuple word score, 250 for going off the edge of the board and 27 Tesco petrol vouchers! 

[Swatopluk]

Another classic
[youtube=425,350]r4bnk8c29qw[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4bnk8c29qw
And here is a slightly different text version:

Peter, Paul and Mary are sitting in the kitchen.
>Peter, Paul und Maria sitzen im Kittchen.
Es klingelt.

O,the bell rings!
>O,der Hund ringt!

Hello,here is a letter for you.
>Hallo, hier ist eine Leiter fuer Euch.

Oh, it's from the German cancellor Helmut Schmidt.
>Oh, es ist vom deutschen Kanzel-Ohr Helmut Schmidt.

He invites us to his garden party.
>Er lädt uns zu seiner Garten-Partei ein.

Zwei Wochen später begüßt Helmut Schmidt seine englischen Gäste.

Hello, you bang bangs!
>Hallo, ihr Knalltueten!

You can call me Helmut.
>Ihr könnt meinen Helmut rufen.

And I want you to meet my wife Loki.
>Und ich möchte, dass Ihr mein Weib Lokomotive mietet.

In Germany they have lots of polititians.
>In Deutschland haben sie viele Politessen.

Hello, Mr. Vegetable!
>Guten Tag, Herr Kohl!

Hello, Mr.Bird, hello, Mr.Biedenhead.
>Guten Tag, Herr Vogel, guten Tag Herr Biedenkopf.

Aber Peter, Paul und Maria sehen noch andere prominente Gäste.

Is this Henry wau-wau?
>Ja,das ist Heinrich Böll.

This is Alice Schwarzer.
>Das sind alles Neger.

And there is Roy Black.
>Und da ist der König der Neger.

But now have a good time!
>Aber nun habt eine gute Uhr,
sagt der Kanzler.
Und Peter,Paul und Maria schlender alleine weiter durch den Garten. Dabei macht Maria eine Entdeckung.

O,there is music in the air!
>O,da ist Musik in den Eiern!

Is it a waltz or a foxtrott?
>Ist es eine Walze oder ein Fuchsritt?

I am hungry.
>Ich bin Ungar,
sagt Peter.

Angenehm,I am thursty.
>Ich bin Donnerstag,
sagt der Kellner.

Take Place.
>Nehmen Sie ein Plätzchen.

Or do you want to lunch with us?
>Oder wollen sie uns lynchen?

Und die Party geht weiter.
>And the party get's wider.

But were are the trees?
>Aber wo sind die drei?

Where is Peter?
Peter is looking for a Puff.
>Peter sucht was zum Rauchen.

Peter is visiting the Bundesrat.
>Paul besucht die Bundesratte.

And Mary?
Well she is having a breakfast with the Mayor of Bonn.
>Sie hat ein Brechfest mit dem Meier aus Bonn.

Good bye.
>Guten Einkauf.