Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[pieces o nine]

I say, chaps! One hesitates to broach this topic in mixed company, but there appears to be a mannerless  urchin  running amok in the drawing room. And with a full nappy, too, unless my wits have utterly failed.

Quick, man, send for a footman -- or an upstairs maid -- or a stable boy! Have the verminous creature removed from forthwith before he casts a pall on the assembled company.

Fank ye. Ye welkum.

[Pachyderm]

Ai do apologise. It was not intended for the Good and Beautiful to see one in one's *ahem* "evening wear".

[Opsa]

Well, I think it's peh-fectly charming, as long as Somebody Else takes care of it and puts it away when it becomes tedious.

[nefyuBB]

HOBOY !

LOOKIT ME !
LOOKIT ME !

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ummmmmm
warr iz alla candy ?

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Pachyderm]

Ah, the joy and folly of youth. Now climb up that chimney and clean it properly. If you do a good job, Ai shall give you this shiny ha'penny.

[pieces o nine]

Yer harrrght be in thee roight plaice, Pachy, but Nef Yoo dun wont no ha'pennies. Orfer 'im a noo lollypoppe, or a shynee button, or a prittee rock.

[Opsa]

...n' if that won't work, perhaps a threat to send it off to military school...

(Edited to correct spelling. Apparently finishing school didn't help with that!)

[Pachyderm]

My dear lady, the last thing we need is it trained to kill. Simply not the done thing. As in my day, commissions should be bought, it keeps the riff-raff out.

[Opsa]

Yesh, quite right. Maybe just boarding school then. Finishing school was certainly the finish of me. Particularly since the finishing school they sent me to was in Finland. I've never been quite able to face pickled herring since.

[nefyuBB]

ALLOOOooooooo........

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Why yes, how can I help you?

[Opsa]

Do you suppose he' saying "aloe", perhaps? Hazzums got a naughty bad boo-boo? Nursie, be a dove and take the poor widdle ting off to the infirmary.

Woozle, woozle woo. Tut-tut. There, there.

(Dear me, I seem to have echoalia or some such dreadful repeating syndrome .)

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I though he was just picking up the phone...

[Opsa]

Gracious, I thought we had a butler to do that sort of thing. I wonder if he's gotten into the brandy and fallen asleep in the potting shed, again.

[nefyuBB]

Yesh, quite right. Maybe just boarding school then. Finishing school was certainly the finish of me. Particularly since the finishing school they sent me to was in Finland. I've never been quite able to face pickled herring since.

HOBOY HOBOY!

BORDIN SKOOL !

an den i wull i wull be teeched how to bord a shup juss lik tha big piewits !
an i wull pillyij wots ove stuff !