Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[DaveL]

Certainly Sir! Which way was it to the scullery?

[Opsa]

It's in the north wing, Ducky. Just follow the trail of onion tears. (I hope they don't mar the marble floors.)

[DaveL]

Why thank you good lady, I fear Bart may have done something rather preposterous in there you know. 

[Opsa]

Do you think so? I thought I saw the scullery maid just now walking out to empty the dustbin. She was  smiling from ear to ear, so I can't imagine anything could have been terribly wrong. She was limping a little, though. I think she has a bad leg or something.

[Opsa]

Please excuse the double-posting, but Lord DavidH has been seen near here chatting up in a landlubbery fashion, and I thought we might drag this-away and have at it, followed by cocktails, of course. Haw haw.

[pieces o nine]

I say, what a cracking idea. 

Jeeves!  Cognacs all round, and break out the good crystal, too.

[Sibling DavidH]

(In my Jeeves voice)

Certainly, Madam, but if I mey venture an opinion - would Madam prefer me to produce the good crystal without breaking it?

[pieces o nine]

* laughs musically *

You are such a card, Jeeves.  You should be dealt with!

Pour a snort for yourself while you're at it, and -- I say! -- tell the staff they may have a tot as well, eh, what?

[Opsa]

Aren't we having a bully time of it, then?

_{I think we may have to throw a bit of pool-water on my maidservant Claudette, though, as I've just found one of her stockings clinging to the Dorothy Perkins rosebushes. Just toss it in there with her. If we hear her shriek we'll know we got her...}

[Bluenose]

<emerges from behind Dorothy Perkins rosebushes, looking slightly dishevelled>

<sotto voce> I say, that feels better!

<looks around>

Ahem.  Ah...  Lady Opsa, umm...  Er...  Oh, is that Duchess Pieces with some cognac?  Jeeves, Ill have one of those, there's a good fellow...

[Opsa]

*Calling into Dorothy Perkins rosebush* Claudette- do be a good girl and run fetch my parasol. While your at it, please fix your hair, and get a fresh apron. And do wipe that smirk off your face.

That goes for you too, Blue old boy. Don't look now, but you've got a stocking stuck to the back of your tweed blazer. I'll pretend to pat your back and crumple it into my monogrammed hankie to give to Claudette later.

[pieces o nine]

* idly wonders where that Jeeves person is, while delicately slurping last of cognac *

[Swatopluk]

Ditcha get the lates' newts? The Pirate Party made it into the Berlin House o' Representatives in the election previous Sundae.
8.9% meaning 15 reprehensibles (15 mates, 1 wench)!

[Opsa]

The fiends! How dare they have a party and not invite us? I must say, I'm quite cross about this. I shall stamp my little feet, I shall!

[Bluenose]

Don't mention it too loudly my dear, we wouldn't want that Captain Bluenose blaggard to hear now, would we?



Avaarst!  Did sumwun menshun poirates?



Quick! Into the conservatory before the blighter sees us!

I think we got away with it...