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Useful things to do with yer rations

Started by Griffin NoName, February 27, 2008, 02:47:47 AM

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Griffin NoName

Number One.

Wild Rice.

The dark grains are excellent fer scattering round yer enemies ship - they'll be panicin' in no time about bein' overrun with bilge rats.

Usefulness Rating  *****
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One approaches the journey's end. But the end is a goal, not a catastrophe. George Sand


Pachyderm

Really old crusty bread, when crushed into crumbs makes a good alarm system. Simply spread on the deck, and when nefarious types come sneaking aboard, you will be alerted by all the crunching.

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Imus ad magum Ozi videndum, magum Ozi mirum mirissimum....

Bluenose

#2
Hard tack.

Me busun's mate reckons ye can eat the stuffe when ye be adrift in the life boat after ye shippe be sunke in a storm.  Wen 'e telled us this we was larffin so much it were a goode hour afore we was abel ter stan up strait.  Oi recken if ye were boardin yer enemy's shippe, an' ye telled him this tale, loike ye'd be back in yer own ship and sailin off wiv all 'is treasure long before 'e gains 'is roight senses...

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Pachyderm

Salt. Simply pour salt inter yer little swivel-mounted three pounders, on top of the powder, an' when yer crew gets it inter theyre litlle heads ter have a light-fingered trawl through the treasure deck, let 'er rip. Won't kill 'em, nor put a hole in yer boat, by they will leave that there treasure be, 'till it be toime ter divvy up proper, loike.


Usefullness rating: ***********
Imus ad magum Ozi videndum, magum Ozi mirum mirissimum....

Opsa

Hard tack (part II)

Wen stuck out to sea wiffout so much as a fart to fill the sails, Oi finds that hard tack may be sawred into strips and fashioned into a makeshift wind chime, so as ter alert yers to a decent breeze.


Usefullness Rating: **

anthrobabe

Rum

(provided it ain't all gone yet)
not only useful for drinkin but Rum can be used medicinally as a disinfectant-- pour it liberally into wounds and ye crew will quickly fergit the pain of the wound. also can be used for signal fires (but be sure you have a good hiding place from the crew before you do this).


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Saucy Gert Pettigrew at your service, head ale wench, ships captain, mayorial candidate, anthropologist, flirtation specialist.

Black Bart

I was gonna menshun a Big Ron's Sausage...but I best be leavin that to Dave L or he moight get upset.

Fish Head Stew...It be so hard ta get any bugger to eat it...it lasts fer months!

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She was only the Lighthouse Keeper's daughter, but she never went out at night

Opsa

Fish Head Stew moight also be usefull in determinning whether or not a blaggard's dead or not. Just pour some down is gullet and if he gags, e's still aloive. Then, if he's sposta be dead you can run im through fer good measure.

Usefullness Rating: ***

Pachyderm

Fish Head Stew
---------------------

When a blaggard captain sets his ship alongside in a boarding action, cauldrons of FHS can be used a deterrent. Pointing at them and stating you just had a bowl should frighten off anyone. For the select few that can face the thought of combat with someone tough enough to consume FHS and be upright, never mind alive, pouring it onto their decks will them a whole new set of worries.

Usefullness Rating: *******************
Imus ad magum Ozi videndum, magum Ozi mirum mirissimum....

Bluenose

Fish Head Stewe IV

FHS be roight yuseful as a barnacle remover fer yer shippe.  Jest pour half a cup over the side an all the barnacles will drop offe yer hull, dead.  Doan't exceede the dose, however, as FHS can be hoighly corrosive and usin two muche moight cause yer shippe's plankin ter serarate from the ribbing whice can bee a bit of a problem, loike...

Usefuleness rating **********
Myers Briggs personality type: ENTP -  "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Opsa

Dead Barnacles

Dead barnacles may be used as a preferable rations alternative to Fish Head Stew, especially if you've eaten everything else. I foind they has a roight nutty flavour.

Usefullness rating: ****

Black Bart

Funny you should say that...

I saw a programme with Tony Robinson (better known as Baldrick from Black Adder) called the Worst Jobs in History.

Some poor sod had to crush up rotten barnacles and limpets to make the purple dye wot they use for Royal Purple clothing!

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She was only the Lighthouse Keeper's daughter, but she never went out at night