The Four Poptarts of The Apocalypse: You Decide (I'm busy).

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

Ah, aphos is wise, but without vanilla, chocolate is unbalanced. and cherry is just, y'knows, cherry.

~Qwerty

[Sibling Chatty]

If you put a cherry Poptart between 2 chocolate ones...

Black Forest Poptart!!

[Aggie]

I want to float a chocolate stout on a Kreik - black n' forest.

[anthrobabe]

I voted for all 5 in order to skew the stats....
anyway

I'd rather have fried Okra than a pop-tart, but I do eat pop-tarts and pot noodle as well.

I'm going to vote some more later--- thank you

!!!!CHOCOLATE!!!!!

[Opsa]

I hope you have more luck than I did, 'Thro. I can't seem to get in more votes than the ones I first voted on. No fair! No Fair! Oh wait- I rigged this one.

I just looked here http://www2.kelloggs.com/brand/brand.aspx?brand=202 to see if they came in Chocolate Cherry, and was amazed to see that they don't, but they do come in Barbie flavors! I assume these to be beige and plastic, with little feet stuck in "high heel gear".

I think that the Barbie flavors deserve a place in the Apocalypse, for yea- surely Barbie is the Plaything of the Beast.

[pieces o nine]

Siblings, such rash speculation, and now the Barbie Beast has been invoked. I beg of you to stop before we are led into contemplating such abominations as Meow Berry! Let us calm ourselves and consult the Book of Pop Tarts, Chapter Six, verses 1-9:

¹ And I saw when I opened the seal of the first box, and I heard, as it were the crackling of foil, one of the taste buds saying, 'Come and try'.
² And I saw, and behold a white Pop Tart: and his name was Frosted Strawberry.
³ And when I had opened seal of the second box, I heard the second tastebud say, 'Come and try'.
⁴ And there went out another Pop Tart that was red: and his name was Frosted Cherry.
⁵ And when I had opened the seal of the third box, I heard the third tastebud say, 'Come and try'. And I beheld, and lo a black Pop Tart; and his name was Frosted Chocolate.
⁶ And when I had opened the seal of the fourth box, I heard the voice of the fourth tastebud say, 'Come and try'.
⁷ And I looked, and behold a pale Pop Tart: and his name that sat on him was Mint Chocolate Chip.
⁸ And when I had opened the seal of the fifth box, I saw they were enrobed in white and were even as Cookies 'n' Creme.
⁹ And I beheld when I had opened the seal of the sixth box, and, lo, they were Frosted Blueberry. Amen!

[Aggie]

Yay!  Scripture! 

I miss having scripture, even if I'm not much good at writing it (barely even got the False Prophecies off the ground).

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

Oh good.

scripture.

we all know how much that helps everything.

/cynicism

[Aggie]

Only if you take it too serious, Q.  When it's for fun... it's for fun!

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

*sigh* Poptarts.

They bring back such memories.

I no longer keep them in the house-- I go for the toaster strudel instead-- more "fruit", frosting optional.

I never did develop a taste for the frosted ones-- too sweet for me.

I liked the "fruit" ones' best. (I put it in quotes, because I strongly suspect that nothing resembling actual fruit had anything whatsoever to do with the making of Poptarts...)

I used to add butter to the back (it soaked in better, and didn't run into the toaster...) and enjoy'em warm.  Sometimes, I'd use the microwave (again, upside down, with butter on the back).

Sweet, fat (butter) and bread.  What else could you want?  They even tasted sortof fruit-like.

Strawberry and blueberry were my tarts of choice.  Never went in for chocolate, and I abhor s'mores (waaaaay too sweet for me, and a waste of perfectly good chocolate).   By the time I developed a taste for chocolate (I was allergic as a kid, did not get chocolate until nearly adulthood. By which time, I had quit eating poptarts).   Never had the brownsugar/cinnamon one, either.  Odd, that, as I used to routinely make cinnamon toast myself.   And peanut butter cinnamon toast*.

But, back to the tarts.... once the toaster strudel came into the market, I quit buying 'tarts....

_______________

<sub>* peanut butter cinnamon toast: 

1) Turn on oven's broiler (to pre-heat). 
2) set toaster to very light setting. 
3) Put slices of bread into toaster. 
4) Get out brown sugar, cinnamon and peanut butter (and knife-- or use your fingers....)
5) when bread pops up, it should be slightly crispy, but not really brown.  Butter bread, to the very edges with peanut butter. It's important to go all the way to the edges, else the bread will burn, and spoil (slightly) the flavor.
6) sprinkle brown sugar liberally over the top of the peanut butter. It should have a thin, even coat, but not be piled high. You can dump off the excess that does not stick to the 'butter, for the next slice.
7) sprinkle cinnamon to taste, over the sugar.
8 ) place prepared bread, peanut butter side up, on a cookie sheet, and put in broiler.
DO NOT CLOSE DOOR ALL THE WAY!
9) watch, until the sugar melts, and the peanut butter JUST begins to bubble. 
10) remove, allow to cool slightly.
11) Enjoy-- traditionally with a glass of milk.</sub>

[Bluenose]

Never did like pop tarts. altogether too much like sweet cardboard to me and a very poor substitute for proper turnovers:  take a bit of sweet shortcrust pastry left over from making something else and roll it pretty thin, get some home made raspberry, blackberry of strawberry jam (I think you USuns call that jelly*, for some reason) spread on one side of pastry leaving about half an inch around the edge, fold pastry in half and crimp the edges with a fork.  Use a knife to make a couple of cuts in the middle of the top and bake for about 10 minutes, until the pastry is golden.  Eat hot with fresh cream or ice cream.  Wickedly delicious.   Once you have had a jam turnover you would never touch one of them packet abominations again.   

*which as everyone knows is made principally from gelatin and comes in bright colours and alleged fruit flavours.

[Pachyderm]

Once you have had a jam turnover you would never touch one of them packet abominations again.

Bluenose.


Listen up, people. The man knows. He tells you no lies, all pukka gen.

[pieces o nine]

They sound delicious.

But I'm no fair-weather fan, ready to throw over the Tart for the first fancy Pastry that comes along...

[Opsa]

Actually, we USians do have jam, but technically, it must have a certain degree of visible fleshy fruit in it to be called jam. Only the clear stuff is called jelly. Marmelade is another matter, entirely. Sadly, we don't do marmelade as well as the European countries. Heaven help us if we come out with marmelade poptarts. Verily, then will the toaster of doom envelop us in eternal burningdom.

I'm with PO9, here. Poptarts have their charm if it is completely understood that they are a cheap snack and not real pastry. Also, let us note that the Book of Pop Tarts, Chapter Six, verses 1-9 never in any way mentions that any of the flavors are divine. Basically it just says Stop Complaining and Put This In Yer Piehole.

[Sibling Chatty]

Basically it just says Stop Complaining and Put This In Yer Piehole.

And, like I said, if you even are going to bother to toast them, you might as well cook.

The essence of poptartitude is that, compared to starving, they're just fine.

If the choice is a 3 week old slice of dried out rye bread with a rind of 4 year old cheese and a teaspoon of peanut butter, they're slightly better.

If getting up out of the bed will drop your blood sugar level below the floorboards you'll fall on if you TRY to get up, they're even acceptable. (This is the source of my habit. I admit it. I'm fine with it.)