The Four Poptarts of The Apocalypse: You Decide (I'm busy).

[Opsa]

Ah, Poptarts... the perplexingly flat little toaster pastry with the scant filling that keeps coming up with weird new flavors, when perhaps they should have left it at plain strawberry.

But- what if there WERE Four Poptarts of Bliss? Which would you elect? You may only vote nine times. We will signal the decision by releasing a small cloud of smoke from the Vatican toaster.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

bah, you got the second one wrong.

it's almost right, but instead of brown sugar cinnamon, it should be chocolate.

yes, again. Why do you think they call it chocolate?

some kind of JOKE?

~Qwerty

[Opsa]

That would make it Chocolate, Vanilla, Cherry, and Chocolate. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Maybe they need a spam poptart.

How about Chcolate, Vanilla, Cherry and S'mores? Smores have chocolate filling. And hardly any spam.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

That's exactly my *point*!

sheesh.

[Opsa]

Sorry Squire, I edited as you replied.

When I was a kid, we had something similar to chocolate poptarts which were called Chocolate Elephants. Poptarts totally ripped them off, except the elephant shape. They were unfrosted, too. And the chocolate filling was  really strong in flavor. Or maybe my tastebuds were just younger.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

bah, my vote still goes for chocolate, vanilla, cherry, and chocolate.

pure and simple.


Why can't the pillars ever be repeats? they'd be easier to (de)activate in the event of apocalypse.

~Qwerty

[Aggie]

Voted for the last two options, based on GRAC* definition of the Beast, not mine. 

Poptarts aren't even good enough to count as proper junk food in my books.  Look like cardboard, taste like cardboard, less fibre than cardboard.  Granted, I have only had them on a few occasions, but I've always been amazingly disappointed.




_{*If the FDA gets away with 'Generally Regarded As Safe', I get away with 'Generally Regarded As Consensus'.}

[Opsa]

Yee gods man, you're right. I have adjusted this topic to now read "The Four Poptarts of The Apocalypse".

This may change my vote.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

Answers still not corrected, but yes. We must prepare for the inevitable, the evitable, but mostly the edible.


~Qwerty

[Pachyderm]

Answers still not corrected, but yes. We must prepare for the inevitable, the evitable, but mostly the edible.


Forgot the "in" prefix to that one, Qwerty.



PopTarts are a foul abomination. Admittedly, when I saw the tpoic title, I thought it was going to be about the Spice Girls

[pieces o nine]

What is all this hating on teh poptarts?

I've known many a graphic artist who owes life and completed-on-time projects to poptarts. (btw: Brown Sugar Cinnamon is the only decent option.)

Normally I fear dogs, down to a cellular level, but I freely shared my poptarts with Mirra (brother's Doberman) and we got along great. Poptarts, yay!

[Aggie]

Here's my take on hating on teh poptarts:

I was fairly sugar-restricted as a child, at least by Mom, and although we got some salty snack foods through the house once in a while, pre-packaged sweet foods were a rarity.  Most dessert-type baked goods were home-baked, and poptarts were NEVER a breakfast option (the sweetest cereal we got was Life, I think, and that must have slipped past Mom's label-reading skills.  The only cereal box with cartoon mascots was teh Rice Krispies, which are relatively 'clean'). 

Food-inna-box was by default Forbidden Treat Food, and therefore was expected to be absolutely over-the-top sinfully delicious.  Poptarts just can't back it up - Mom's ubiquitous homemade fruit crisps were always way better as a late-nite baked goods kick.  I also have a hate on for teh Fruit Loops for the same reason - they don't match the saturday-morning-cartoon-ad hype.

I have a heck of a sweet tooth at times, but savory is what satisfies me.  Cheapo instant noodles (ramen) are probably my youth's poptart equivalent.  But I always chucked some veg in, so they were even redeemed a bit, nutritionally speaking.   

[Sibling Chatty]

Brown Sugar Cinnamon

MORE Brown Sugar Cinnamon

Cherry

Blueberry

Strawberry
---------------

ALL must be frosted, NONE must be Brand Specific, I favor the store-brands, actually

None should EVER be exposed to a toaster.

Good Lord, people, If you're going to toast them, you might as well COOK!!

(At my house, Spencer gets first dibs on all Poptart (generic, not brand) corners. This is the Divine Right of Schnauzers, although it does not extend to the decadence that is dipping them into generic Cool-Whip.)

BTW, they are NOT a breakfast food. They are a gelatinous substance surrounded by a dry substance, containing enough food-like qualities to keep one from dying.  OK, from dying immediately...

[pieces o nine]

*pieces reminisces*  I had a eeeevul boss who ate cold, frosted strawberry poptarts at his desk. That should have been my first tip-off.  *shudders*

[Aphos]

Perhaps the four poptarts should be chocolate, chocolate, chocolate and chocolate?  Naaaa.......cherry has to be in there somewhere.