Snark/rant

[Griffin NoName]

I thought yesterday was a bad hair day, but today has been worse.

• woke up with migraine
  wasted hours searching for a product that doesn't exist on the internet
  failed to do any diploma writing
  my old vcr chewed up three hours of taping I has made for my mother's christmas present
  the tape got stuck inside the vcr
  wrestled with screws, lids, and tape mechanisms while balancing vcr on my underwear drawer (don't ask)
  restarted the whole wretched process of creating mother's present again (would be easier to buy them a dvd/pvd)
  dropped my supper on the floor
  ran out of clean cups for coffee
  dropped my pills down the inside of my bra
  had windows shut down on me with a sinister system event
  discovered I am getting nasty hard disc errors on my laptop
  ripped a hole in my mattress cover
  failed to get adequate rest for tomorrow's dip. class

why didn't someone cancel today?

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

[Sibling Chatty]

Griffin, you need chocolate.

I wish it could be e-mailed...I have some lovely dark chocolate from Belgium I could share.

And joining Grey...

[Griffin NoName]

Ah but my Urologist banned chocolate. Life is meant to be miserable, then we die

(but I am not very obedient and I haven't had any chocolate-induced disasters yet).

[Darlica]

A rebellious Griffin!   

Sorry to hear about your bad day!

[Opsa]

I hope today is much, much better! 

[The Meromorph]

A rebellious Griffin!   

I'm thinking we'd better warm the world...
We've experienced what happenes when someone make Aunty Dee Dee really mad.
I don't want to find out what happens when Griffin...

[Griffin NoName]

S'ok. You can rest easy. Today worked ok.  

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Yay!

[Sibling Chatty]

We've experienced what happenes when someone make Aunty Dee Dee really mad.

Dan says..."You only THINK you have. Are buildings still standing within a 10 mile radius? Do people still have the ability to hear? Then you've never gotten the full effect."

He's wrong. I've never taken down a building over 5 miles away. The hearing usually comes back. True, no creature in the area is still fertile...

[Darlica]

 

Have you ever completely demolished a kitchen with a crowbar and an axe?

I've seen my dear, very sane, mother do that as a way to get rid of the overflow of anger during her divorce from my father... the kitchen was due for renovating and was to be torn down anyway, but it still was a magnificent display of sheer force. 

[anthrobabe]

I hope today is better Griffin---- somedays should be cancelled- we should have that option.

[Sibling Chatty]

Have you ever completely demolished a kitchen with a crowbar and an axe?

I've seen my dear, very sane, mother do that as a way to get rid of the overflow of anger during her divorce from my father... the kitchen was due for renovating and was to be torn down anyway, but it still was a magnificent display of sheer force. 

True story.

I was engaged to this...person when I was 26. He was an ass, but it took me a while to figure it out.

He bought, without consulting me, a house. It was going to need MAJOR reconstruction, and had a "poolhouse" in the back that was going to have to come down, for various reasons, not the least of which was that it had been built without permits and met NO codes.

I'd seen the place twice, and we'd agreed to meet there and discuss what was to be done, in what order and then talk about contractors. I wanted a licensed and bonded one, he wanted to be the fist customer of a brand new company being put together by some of his buddies.

Now, retired, or almost retired professional athletes CAN be good businessmen. IF they've got any sense. These guys? Not so much. ANYWAY...We were to meet at the house at 3 PM. I'm at work, I have everything done for the day, the orders for the next day are filled and in the cooler (florist, remember?) and the display cooler is stuffed to max capacity. If I came back from lunch, I would spend the afternoon killing time, so my boss says to just go on and meet the guy.

I get there at 12:15, figuring we could go to lunch. The three guys that are wanna-be contractors and my fiancee are in the "poolhouse" (which has all the class and tasteful decor of a cheap brothel) with a bunch of hookers. Yeah, smooth move.

The city later fined my ex for not getting a permit to take the poolhouse down. I took out the porch supports with a pipe that was laying in the yard, also the sliding glass doors. As the hookers were scattering, I started with Mr. X's truck, driving it into the poolhouse and taking out the first wall. Once it quit operating as a battering ram, I got the next truck up (macho jerks in big trucks, ya know) and took out the entire front section. Thanks to four-wheel drive and off-roading capabilities, I was able to leave it stranded atop a pile of wreckage from taking out the front of the building (all the glass) and then knocking down the supporting walls. I still had two more sets of keys, but by this time, everybody had on as many clothes as they could grab, and the girls were long gone. The third truck went into the pool, and the fourth vehicle was a chunk-of-fiberglass Corvette, a "sportscar" that handles like a brick and crumbles like stale bread. It just got a few heavy-duty smacks with the pipe.

After I punched the now-ex in the face a few times with the chunk of stone on my ring finger, I tossed it into the pool with the third vehicle, then left.

Yes, the way to get a contract to re-build a house is to DEFINITELY bring hookers. And dope. (The cops found the cocaine in the smashed 'Vette. Duh.) I went to his lawyer, told him to forget the next draft of the pre-nup and to NOT put that damn house in my name. And when he came to try to work thing out, I kicked in the windshield of his other truck. (He was stupid enough to pick me up and set me on the hood to try to keep me where I had to listen to his bulls#!&, he suffers the consequences.)

Considering what he did for a living (linebacker), that he was about a foot taller that me, and that I could almost both bench-press AND leg-lift as much as he could, I think he was pretty stupid to try to tough-guy his way into talking to me.

If I had been given access to a crowbar or an axe, I might have taken down more than a poolhouse. I'm almost certain, I would have gotten at least a back-up quarterback and maybe another linesman...

7 months of couples counseling 3 times a week over the hookers and drugs (and control) issues...and then he's stupid enough to think I wouldn't notice anything amiss when I came in a few hours later? Nope, I just couldn't marry a moron!

He did agree to pay for more counseling, and we even went together a few times. Unfortunately for him, both the psychologist and the psychiatrist he worked with thought that my anger was pretty much justified, although they were a bit taken aback at the volume of destruction.

He and his fiancee were at my wedding 3 years later. He had a black eye, she had bruises on her hand, around her ring finger, that looked familiar. (She hated the house, too.)

[Bruder Cuzzen]

 

[Griffin NoName]

Now I have one of those pesky little ulcer spots on the tip of my tongue. The sort that is impossible not to keep trying to bite off in the hope that will heal it.  I think this is more a snark than a rant though. I mean, it's minor league