Respectfully humourous features of gentle and gradual decline in the Elderly

[Griffin NoName]

It was my father's 87th this month and we celebrated last night.

For the last couple of years he has been enjoying the beginnings of retreat from life. He is otherwise physically in pretty good shape overall. He used to be severely exercised by life's difficulties, getting angry and stressed a lot. This has all - almost - disappeared. He is in a very happy world focused mainly on his home and small matters concerning his immediate surroundings. It is a stage along the way and a pleasant plateau. I am enjoying it......

One of his big things is labels - sticky notes. Not that unusual for the elderly (or the not so elderly either for that matter) but he always has been way over the top with them. Amongst my favourite is the little picture of a chicken with steam coming off it which is placed next to the Sunday roast when it is left out to cool before going in the fridge. This has been in constant use for many years.

It is always exciting visiting the flat. What new labels will there be? They are getting more curious as time goes on. Tonight's was a new one to treasure. There's always been a guest towel in the bathroom. It is always the little towel that looks like a guest towel and is nearest the basin. Now it is official; there's a label on the towel rail with a large arrow pointing at it, saying "Guests".

I have already noted that I have inherited the gene for labels. But my labels are nowhere near as interesting.

[Sibling Chatty]

Now, are those labels for the edification of others, or for his own edification?

I spent the afternoon with Mom today. Much less stressful that usual, I must say, possibly because a good portion of the afternoon also involved one of my brothers.

Mom's 81. I WISH she'd get the labeling thing. Unfortunately, her philosophy is "A pile for everything, and everything in its pile" And then she's upset when I can't decipher the piling system...

[Griffin NoName]

I am never quite sure if they are for himself, for my mother, or for the people who visit.

His best one ever was in their tiny U-shaped kitchen, it's two strides from door to window at the opposite end, and one stride across. On the fridge door, which is next to the door into the room, was a notice with a large arrow pointing towards the door, saying WAY OUT.

Then there's one on the window saying "do not open more then 1/2 inch" and the one on the dishwasher saying "Dirty dishes".

It's getting scary walking into the kitchen.

(trouble is I have a similar one on a wall switch saying "don't switch off" - justification that it operates a fan hidden inside the cupboard below and pumps air out the wall, that serves my heating system. but the real worry is my aunt, his elder sister, had one in her kitchen saying "beware the little green men in the garden" just before alzheimers was diagnosed).

[Bluenose]

Ah!  That proves it!  Alzheimer's is caused by having little gree men in the garden.  No wonder she had a sign warming people to beware of them!

[Sibling Chatty]

Ach, she'd have been much better off having wee blue men aboot...

[Pachyderm]

Stıck ıt up yer trakkans!

Crıvvens, waily-waily etc.

Everybody´s life would be ımproved by the presence of angry, drunken, theiving Pictsies.

[anthrobabe]

Oh- my mother is a piler upper herself.
I've tried to "understand" but it gets her agitated to have to "explain the obvious" so I suppose one day my brothers and I will just have to hit the house (probably after she leaves us on the next leg of her journey) with a good bottle of scotch and plow through it all.

I'm a post-it person.
Right now in my purse I have a post-it on todays calendar page that says
"buy more - this is the last one!!!!!"
I should be loads of fun for my children-- wait I already am.

really scary thing to have in ones garden?
a teenager! learning to drive! who knows how to drive even though never driven before! (like I said I'm fun for my children.)

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

a teenager! learning to drive! who knows how to drive even though never driven before! (like I said I'm fun for my children.)

Knowing how to move the car forward, backward, left and right doesn't mean someone knows how to drive. Has your teen driven a kart or played with a game console/playstation/xbox/etc? Knowing how to drive implies having all your attention on the road, looking before changing lanes, checking your speed, etc, and more so when and how to brake.

If your teen knows how to do all those things then be scared, veeeerry scared.  
/

[anthrobabe]

a teenager! learning to drive! who knows how to drive even though never driven before! (like I said I'm fun for my children.)

Knowing how to move the car forward, backward, left and right doesn't mean someone knows how to drive. Has your teen driven a kart or played with a game console/playstation/xbox/etc? Knowing how to drive implies having all your attention on the road, looking before changing lanes, checking your speed, etc, and more so when and how to brake.

If your teen knows how to do all those things then be scared, veeeerry scared.  
/

I was being sarcastic  --- she has no idea how to drive- except start the vehicle and where the shifter is. She on the other hand believes that all "old people" are dumb and she know how to drive- via osmosis I guess. In no way under any manner is she actually on a road yet-- still doing the back roads and parking lot thing with her. But she is ready and raring to go all of the sudden- in the last couple of months she is ready to DRIVE--- Oh and yes she did buy new "driving shades" at the mall. I learned to drive when I was 13 - she's had no interest really until lately.

[Aggie]

Mom has asked me to let her know if she starts doing 'crazy old lady things'.  But she doesn't like me pointing out the beginnings of them quite yet.  I guess I am supposed to wait until she's good and set in her ways?

[anthrobabe]

Mom has asked me to let her know if she starts doing 'crazy old lady things'.  But she doesn't like me pointing out the beginnings of them quite yet.  I guess I am supposed to wait until she's good and set in her ways?

that's funny
mom and I have fun with it now but we have a list started of what will not be
#1-- no blue hair-ever ( for those of you who don't know- this often occurs because of the ladies using Mrs. Stewarts Bluing- for whitening clothing-an optical brightner-on their hair, the lable states that it makes white pets and hair sparkle- but actually makes it bluish, so get it out of the house asap!)
#2-- no being in public with smeared or "gawd awful" lipstick
#3-- we will not have food on our faces at anytime and we will be dressed in clothing and not sleep clothes( comes from this dear old lady who's daughter would bring her to the pharmacy wearing a robe and slippers with food on her face and I would be so Pis@# off at this blathering daughter who had no respect for her mother).
#4-- we do not mention the obvious (as with your mom Agujjim).

The most important thing of all
Enjoy our parents while (if) we can!

[Sibling Chatty]

Mom has asked me to let her know if she starts doing 'crazy old lady things'.  But she doesn't like me pointing out the beginnings of them quite yet.  I guess I am supposed to wait until she's good and set in her ways?

I had to employ the "Hey, Mom? Are you aware that you've been...whatever. Did you realize that it sorta seems like...whatever?"

Like the constant fingernail clicking...DRIVES ME NUTS. she does it in the car. OK, so I find out she does it at church as well. And it drives the pastor (who also is her Sunday school teacher) up the wall, too.

Then, of course, there's my mother's insistence that the universe exists only for her benefit, and everybody in it should be more than happy to bend their entire existence toward her satisfaction... She has gotten better about this. Now she just thinks I should live only to fulfill here every whim.

We won't discuss the whining, manipulating and utter refusal to discuss the problems she causes when she decides to ignore potential problems instead of getting me to help her with them. (These problems often tend to be thing that cost her large sums of money.) After all, if you ignore it, it WILL go away...